Night Watch I: Eliza, Ward of Andrew

*Andrew’s POV*

We had been walking for about an hour and had yet to see any sign of the second creature as we traveled northwards, heading towards the Grey Path that would take us in a Northeasterly direction. Dani hadn’t been able to pinpoint the location of the second cù sìth as well from Big Momma’s thoughts, but he had the impression it had a fairly large Northern range and a lair among the lower foothills. Big Momma had conveyed a pronounced forewarning that this second animal would be a much more capable foe. Great. Would we just walk up to this one too?

At the moment, we were taking a brief respite. I was a little worried, to be honest. Facing that first cù sìth, I hadn’t been able to fully draw Snakebite until after I had rolled. I hadn’t been able to control my hand well enough- if I had been faster, I might have been able to score its belly. My hands were weaker too. I had been trying to open its belly entirely, its entrails should have hit the ground, but my wrists hadn’t been able to sustain enough force for the cut. I had felt them give as I tried to drive Snakebite deeper. If Eliza hadn’t been there, I might well have died.

I looked at my hands, and flexed my fingers. I was disappointed to see that my left hand couldn’t close all the way, my pinky stuck out. My right hand closed, but slower than it should. For the first time, I realized that some of my fingers tingled and my wrists hurt, but I pushed that from my thoughts, rubbing my pinkies absently.

Perhaps I was finished as a Watchman, or at least as an Officer. I wasn’t angry with Eliza, it was my own fault, I should have known to be nothing but gentle with her. Now I would pay the price for my idiocy. I just wasn’t sure how I could protect the Soul, be Eliza’s guardian, or be of use to anyone now. I couldn’t be Eliza’s warden if I wasn’t on the Night Watch any longer. While I hoped she would still want me as a partner, I wondered how I would be able to see her, if she was around someone else, a new warden, all the time? I’d have to live alone again. I didn't want that, I wanted to live with Eliza... Would Eliza still love me if I was a useless invalid?

I tried to put my head in my hands and meditate to focus, but my wrists quickly started to throb too much to be comfortable. My mind started to darken. I had been a Watchman, a fighter, my entire adult life. I couldn’t stand the thought of Eliza leaving for Watch when I could do nothing, staying behind because I was of no use-

Dani squatted down next to me. “Andrew, give me your hands.” I glared at him. “Oh, please, I wasn’t prying! You were broadcasting so damned loud I had to come over here and talk in person just to shut you up! I may be a Conjuration Healer, but that doesn’t mean I’m some fucking psychotic warlock, alright? You may have noticed the job’s not just ‘Conjurer,’ there’s a ‘Healer’ part in there too! Now give me your bloody hands!”

Dani held his hands out expectantly, and I let him inspect my wrists. I tried to send him the thought that Eliza had squeezed them by accident, and he nodded. “I’m very good with anatomy, hold on.”

What followed seemed very anti-climactic to me. Dani just stared very intently at my wrists, and I caught Eliza glancing over, looking ashamed. After a moment, Dani raised an eyebrow, then dropped my hands. “Shit Andrew, you have a very high pain tolerance for a man. In terms of your left hand, two of your carpal bones have small hairline fractures, and there are quite a few ligamentous spots of, well, irritation. What concerns me most is that your left ulnar nerve is partially severed at the wrist. Your right hand is pretty similar, with a non-displaced slab fracture of the hamate bone, ligamentous injuries, and moderate damage to both the median and ulnar nerves, here and here.” Dani pointed to two spots corresponding to the bruising on my right wrist; a rough outline of Eliza’s grip.

I shook my head, frustrated. “What the fuck does that mean, Dan? And what do you mean, for a man?”

Dani smiled, which worried me a little. “In reverse order: in general, women are generally better able to withstand enduring sources of pain, especially internal ones, such as broken bones. Men are better able to withstand very acute, external episodes of pain, such as sharp blows. If you ask me, I bet it has to do with the whole baby-carrying, birth-having thing, haha!” Dani chuckled at me and stood up. He was either a genius or a lunatic… “Of course, Eliza is an exception, but she’s cheating!” Dani chortled to himself.

“But what matters right now, is that you should be glad I’m so good with anatomy and stop doubting me so much, Andrew! Now get up off your ass and follow me, alright? Here I am, trying to solve your problems before they even start, and you’re so damned intent on brooding you won’t even listen. Stop moping, ugh!” I hesitated for a moment, and then decided to give Dani a chance. If it meant I’d still be able-bodied and better able to defend the Soul and stay with Eliza, I could at least see what the devil’s bunions Dani had up his sleeve. Being around a mind-reader certainly was different than being around other people…

Eliza was sulking, absently kicking a stone, doubtless feeling responsible, and my heart ached for her. I wanted to drop to my knees and ply her with kisses, distract her away from her needless ruminations, but Dani whumped me in the chest with his staff (not terribly gently either). “None of that romance stuff right now!”

Dani walked up to Eliza and gave her a friendly smile. “My dear, I see you’re still a bit black-eyed and ‘toothy,’ as you put it. Why?” It was true, her tusks had receded only partially, and the irises of her eyes were still black as pitch. I hadn’t said anything because I didn’t want to embarrass her. What the fuck was Dani’s problem?

Eliza looked acutely uncomfortable. “Sometimes, if I’ve been in an extreme amount of pain, or if I already had a lot in reserve, it will take a long time to wear off. The other reason, um, sometimes…” She frowned, making her eyes vibrate a little. “If I’m experiencing mental or emotional pain, it takes a very long time to go away. Generally, the non-physical kinds of pain aren’t enough to cause the changes, only rarely. Why? I’m sorry if it bothers you, there’s nothing I can do about it.” So either Dani put her in too much pain, or Eliza was in some other kind of pain… Gods, I wanted to talk to her, make sure she was ok-

Dani grinned. “Actually, it gave me an idea. Since you seem to have some energy to spare, can I take it? I want to see if I can heal Andrew’s wrists.” What?!?

“Exactly how are you going to do that? That’s insane! I don’t want you to steal pain from Eliza and shove it in my wrists, that sounds horrible!” Dani gave me a look like I’d just told him I was going to protect the Soul of the Forest by building a Wall made of cheese. I looked at Eliza for support, but she was contemplating Dani and looked so hopeful. Dammit, she was starting to smile. Devil’s rectum!

I saw the brightness of the moon reflected in Eliza’s eyes as she looked up at me. I could tell she saw the possibility of repairing the damage she would continue to blame herself for, no matter what I said. Shit. “Hmmm, I see… I have the raw energy, but you’d have to harvest. Certainly, please!” I just looked at them both, lost and confused. I decided I would do whatever it took to make Eliza happy. Anything she wanted. I reluctantly held my hands out and looked at them, making them both look excited. Yay. I had forgotten that love made you completely stupid.

Dani returned Eliza’s enthusiastic smile. “Ok, it might be easier if you hold my hands, if we have a physical connection. Jumping through air is a little tougher.” Eliza took Dani’s hands and he started quietly muttering, I had no idea what. I was expecting, I dunno, maybe a colorful explosion, some sound, sparkles, at least some damned shimmering, but nothing really happened. Eliza’s little tusks just unceremoniously went away, and her eyes returned to normal. Dani kept at it for a few seconds after that, then stopped, a bead of sweat at his brow.

When Dani turned to me, I noticed his hands were tremoring lightly, but he spoke confidently. “Andrew, I am sure this won’t harm you, but in order to heal you unnaturally quickly, perhaps more than you would ever heal on your own, I don’t know how this will feel, ok? You must brace yourself, this is a massive amount of energy.” I looked at Eliza and smiled to let her know I would be fine, then nodded at Dani.

Dani gently took my wrists in his fingers. I was looking at them, and then all my senses were gone. I was overcome by fear, there was nothing but the horrible dread, the anxieties of centuries eating away at me, trying to destroy me.

Fear of going to Training. If Eliza defended herself, she got into trouble, accidentally hurt people, earned their hatred and further abuse. If she didn’t defend herself, her things were ruined, boys tried to take advantage, she would undergo the changes and her classmates would call her a freak, a monster, an abomination.

Fear of the filthy night murderer. Almost as strong as Eliza, she had nearly died. Everything that defined evil, and he had turned out to be protected by people in high places. It had cost everything to stop him.

Fear of losing me, when I wasn’t believing her, when she had foolishly called out her new pet-name for my damned dick in bed. She would lose the greatest thing she had ever known over a stupid misunderstanding! She couldn’t let this happen! She had opened her heart to someone, she should have known better! Never trust anyone! I have to be more careful, I have to-

I screamed and screamed and screamed, until I found myself on the ground of the Forest. I heard voices. I blinked, finally seeing, then sat up.

Dani patted my back, “You alright?” Eliza squatted down, looking worried.

My head swam for a moment before I could form words. “Eliza! Eliza! I’m, ugh,” I blinked heavily again, “I’m so sorry, I can’t say I won’t make a mistake again, I’m just a man. But you can trust me! Without you, I mean… you are all the brightness and beauty of the world, Eliza. If you were gone there would be nothing left to live for.”

Eliza looked puzzled, but she smiled and held out her hand, which I took. “I love you, weirdo.”

Our touching moment was interrupted. “Aha! Look at that!” Dani was pointing at the wrist connected to the hand of mine that was holding Eliza’s. It was no longer discolored! I let go of Eliza’s hand and looked at both of my wrists together- they were normal! “Flex your fingers, Andrew, tell me how they feel!”

I flexed them, and I could move my pinky fingers all the way down, and curl them now, on both sides! It was as though my hands had never been injured! Eliza and I both stood up, and I clapped Dani on the back. “Man, you’ve outdone yourself, Dan! Where the fuck did you learn that?”

Dani shrugged. “I didn’t learn it anywhere. At least half of conjuring is instinct and growing a pair. ”Worried, I clutched at my crotch, relieved to find the normal set of lumps and bumps, and Dani chuckled. “I meant being ‘ballsy’ in the sense of experimentation, dude, not literally. In those pants, it’s very apparent you don’t need any help!” Dani snickered and raised his eyebrows at me. Hmph.

Notes

Happy belated birthday to the one and only Ashley Purdy! (on January 28th!) i had some veterinary stuff i had to attend to so i've been busy, but i didn't forget:

for anyone that doesn't know, AP has his own fashion line, and it's actually really rad. i have a shirt and jacket from it and they're really sweet. check it out: Ashley Purdy Fashion Inc.



AP: accept no substitutes!


and one for you purdy girls/guys:


i still remember that, when someone actually asked him if his 'outlaw' tattoo came off with saliva (ehh, what?), he said not so far, but that they were welcome to try. heh. kudos, AP, kudos.