Night Watch I: Eliza, Ward of Andrew

*Andrew’s POV*

Shit! I desperately needed to talk to Christian! He was my only close friend left, and, until I had seen him, I hadn’t realized how much I needed a friend to talk to. I stared at the knives, totally unable to concentrate. I couldn’t think, I couldn’t do anything! I was useless! How could I continue on as Second Officer, how could I lead the Night Watch in battle, if every second, I could think of nothing but Eliza? If I was popping stiffies every time she touched me?

I really should talk to her about my antlers. But it felt so incredible, when she rubbed them, the tingling went all the way down my spine, to my, um… But after I tell her, she’ll surely never touch them again, dammit! Fuck!

I tugged on my hair in frustration and ground my teeth. Fuck this, this was awful! Why must so many other girls and women throw themselves at me, but the one woman who had spent any substantial amount of time with me only flirt with me in jest? This was the sweetest torment! I would surely die at any moment from the strain!

I had never felt so undesirable in my whole life. I couldn’t decide if I should try and make an effort to look nicer before the end of our shopping trip, when I spoke with Eliza about how I felt, or if such efforts were just pissing in the lake at this point. For fuck’s sake, she’d already seen me naked. What… what had she really thought? Gah!

Terrible, unbidden thoughts came to me. Should I brush my hair? Or comb it? Would Eliza prefer me with a hair cut, like in the Northern regions? Looking… more civilized? Were my earrings too large? Or perhaps Eliza was the opposite, and liked a more adorned look? Was I too dull? I had a nose ring, did she like that? I had taken my lip ring out for practical reasons, I hadn't wanted it to get caught, but if Eliza thought they were sexy, I'd get as many as she wanted! My tattoos weren't the fanciest... I scowled. I looked down at my clothes. True, I was quite out of vogue. Perhaps some pants? I frowned. To be practical, they’d have to be rather tight-fitting. The effect that might have on my avid female followers was worrisome. Though there was the benefit pants would have of reduced risk of accidentally exposing myself, unlike a kilt. Hmmm, ok, worth considering…

“Andrew?” I turned at Eliza’s voice, and seeing she had the most strained smile I’d seen on her thus far, endeavored not to let myself be such a dick in the future. She had no idea why I was being surly and probably blamed herself, when it was all my fault. I gave her my best smile, and I saw the cracks in her expression vanish as it became genuine.

“Looking at these, I was thinking about how you need a dagger. I wanted to discuss something personal with Christian for just a moment, if you wouldn’t mind? Maybe you could see if any of these are at all suitable, or if you’d like one custom made?” Eliza nodded, her viridian eyes bright with excitement, making my smile widen. “If you can’t decide, we have more than enough, we could get a couple-“ Eliza rolled her eyes, grinning, and turned to the wall, plucking the larger knives off and easily flipping them around.

Eliza had better dexterity than I would have thought, especially with such small, stubby hands. Not as good as mine, of course, but decent. She was also a total size queen. Not one for subtlety, Eliza liked big knives with big, flashy decorative handles. Silly goose.

I turned and saw Christian watching us. Well, watching me as I watched Eliza. He motioned me over, then we walked to the other side of the shop, waving a brief ‘hello’ to Ginger, who nodded as he was counting coins. Christian sat at a stool, kicked another out for me, then just looked at me expectantly, and waited. I knew I needed to talk to someone, but it had been so long, I had only really talked to Eliza, since Juliet had died… I didn’t exactly know how to start anymore. “I…”

Christian’s face softened. “It’s alright. True or false: Eliza is more to you than just your ward?”

This was easier. “True!”

Christian leaned forward, just a little. “How, Andy? How is she different?”

I didn’t want to tell him. He would laugh at me, everyone would laugh at me, I’d only known Eliza, what, a day and a half? But I could tell he knew the answer already. Fucking Christian. He was checking to make sure I knew it too. Why does he have to be so smart and care about me? Aren’t Berserkers supposed to be just insane and ripping off pieces of their shields and eating them and shit? “Yes, ok, I’m an idiot that’s fallen head over heels for my ward after knowing her for about five seconds, ok? Happy?” I sighed, decidedly unhappy.

Christian patted my knee. “Have you told her?”

I shook my head. “No, I’ve tried a few little, small hints, but they fell flat. She’s totally non-receptive to anything like that. I’m completely off the radar, it’s like she doesn’t even register me as existing when it comes to that sort of thing. She must find me repulsive.”

Christian started laughing loud enough to attract Ginger’s attention. Christian pointed at me. “Andy is worried about being ugly!” Ginger started laughing too, Christian so hard that he actually fell off his stool in tears.

Ginger came over to us. “Kiddo, you know I love you, but sometimes, I swear, you’re a fucking idiot! Ladies love battle scars, they think they’re ‘badass.’ There are a few hoity-toity bitches that are uptight about broken noses and missing limbs, you know, shit like that, but hopefully the young lady that’s caught your eye isn’t a prissy little cunt, eh?” Christian and I exchanged glances and both started laughing at the same time. Eliza didn’t strike me as a ‘prissy little’ anything.

Ginger patted me on the shoulder. “Son, I thought you’d sworn off of women, gone the way of those celibate monks in the desert.” He paused. “Of course, if you prefer other things, I’m not judging you, m’boy, never, never;-“ I snorted, I was so tired of the gay rumors! “-but I also understand losing a loved one sometimes just needs time, aye?” I nodded. Indeed.

I adjusted my hair a little bit. Then I gave it a little tug and adjusted it some more. “Guys… I think I love her.” I glanced back and forth between then, chewing my lip, trying to hold my legs still.

Ginger clapped me on the back. “I guess you’re not dead yet, then? Very good, very good.” He gave me the fatherly shoulder pat, reminding me of Blasko. “Reckon you ought to do something about that, then, eh?” He sauntered off, grinning, looking pleased.

I looked at Christian, who was beaming. He was a little more concrete with his advice. “Andy, your head is in the clouds and you can’t concentrate. I’ll give you some parchment so you can write everything down for whatever you need to shop for, hold on.”

Christian ran off and came back quickly with a small tablet. “Alright, you’re here for weapons, I presume, what do you need?”

“Eliza needs a battleaxe, she knows the specifications,” I wasn’t surprised when Christian’s eyes bugged out a little, but kept going, “and she’ll need a dagger, bare minimum. I was also hoping to talk her into getting a sword of some kind. It’s a good idea to have one, she’ll know what would work. I don’t know if she ever uses throwing knives, I’ll have to ask.”

Christian nodded. “Ok, good, where else do you need to go?”

“Well, definitely clothes shopping. We need to stop by the cobbler- she needs new boots. Let’s see… The woodworker, to get Eliza either a bow or crossbow. But first thing after this, we need to hit Commons to get some food. There’s other places I want to take her, like the haberdasher, the leatherworker, you know, but I feel like that’s plenty for one day, and...” Christian smiled.

“And what, Andy?” He smiled at me reassuringly.

I blushed like a fucking idiot. “Blasko is penalizing us with two nights off, and since I’ve been going crazy, I mean… I thought, this might be a good time, I really want to just get this off my chest, and just tell her how I feel. Even though she doesn’t see me that way, I’ll have some kind of answer, you know? Then, I can just nip this in the bud?” Christian shook his head, still smiling.

“Dude… you don’t know that she’s not interested. For fuck’s sake, everyone is interested in you, Andy! Especially once they get to know you!” Christian stopped smiling, eyes flickering to Snakebite, then over to where Eliza was still standing, by the wall. He narrowed his eyes at me. “Andy, I won’t accept an order for weapons for Eliza unless you make a vow, of your choice, of course, that you’ll tell her how you feel before you guys hit the hay.”

A motherfucking vow?!? I didn’t like that! I looked at Ginger, who just slowly shook his head at me and pointed at Christian. Fuck! Shit! Fuck! “You’re a dick, Christian.”

“Andy, that is not at all a solemn oath that binds you, by your honor, you to reveal your feelings to Eliza in a right timely fashion. I’m sure I could write one out for you if you need me to, but I thought you’d like-“

“Shut up, asswipe! Ugh! Umm…” Shit… Didn’t want to swear by anything related to Juliet, that would be inappropriate… maybe leave out the sword… ok, kind of lame-sounding but I got it, “I solemnly swear by my undying love and devotion to my parents, may my father rest in peace, and my mother be at peace in her, uh, current state, that I will do everything in my power to reveal to my ward, Eliza, Night Watchman, my, umm, romantic feelings, for her, prior to the time we, er, go to bed.” I nodded. “How’s that? Good enough?”

Christian was grinning like the cat that ate the canary, nodding contentedly. Easy for him, he wasn’t going to get rejected by a woman with bright green eyes that kicked his ass and then carried him to the Healer’s tent while he was apparently begging her forgiveness and possibly crying. Ugh. Christian thought I was so irresistible to women? Well, this particular woman, the only one I happened to want to attract, was completely immune to my supposed charms.

Notes

berserkers can be sensitive, friendly folks too! they only eat pieces of their shields if they're, you know, 'in the zone.'

FYI: Ginger Fish- Lead Smithy, got Christian interested in drums as a young apprentice when he was still in training. A Dusk Fae. As Lead Smithy, he only joins battle if the walls are penetrated, as he’s needed to repair arms and stay at the bellows. This makes him a little cranky at times. Likes to go out at night and jam with John 5 and sometimes Jinxx and Blasko. (Former/Generally inactive Berserker- most berserkers will fight outside the wall, he will only join the fight if walls penetrated, like councilmen and elder(s))

Ginger in warpaint: