*Andy’s POV*

I eyed my antlers in the little mirror I had in the back room. I could feel that the bases were firming up a bit from the cartilage already. They weren’t incredibly tiny any longer, which made me nervous.

I didn’t want to grow a massive rack, it would be totally impractical. I’d seen very few older Fae that had antlers, but mine seemed to be following the trend I’d noticed of an increase in size with every shed. It seemed that most Fae maxed out on the number of tines at some point. Though mine had never felt heavy, I was afraid I’d get pains in my neck in my old age, if they continued to enlarge at this rate and never stopped. They’d also be more of a hassle in combat, if they got truly enormous. I supposed it would be possible to saw them off, but just thinking about that sent chills up my spine. The damned things were sensitive; it would be agonizing.

I glanced at Eliza, who was still sleeping. I was pleased I hadn’t woken her with more pathetic shrieks after yet another nightmare. I didn’t actually recall dreaming at all during the Day, so I figured I was making progress.

Eliza had dealt so well with my mother! She hadn’t been overflowing with the insincere pity of others, but she hadn’t been heartless either. Though I certainly did hope the dickhead that was messing with the trolls was the same magus that had sent the basilisks, that would mean a few things…

Firstly, it would mean we were facing an adversary that had been targeting the Wild Ones for at least a century, a foe that appeared to have enormous power. How I would kill a magick-user that was that strong, I had no idea. But I had no illusions that I could do it alone.

That made me worry, more than I had in years. When the time came, and I went after this nefarious, unknown force, anyone who went with me was far more likely than not to die in the effort. I couldn’t stand the thought of putting Eliza in that kind of danger, but for as long as she was my ward, I’d be forced to take her with me. Realistically, even if the Council set precedent and decreed her a free woman immediately, (far earlier than usual for an exile), I wouldn’t be surprised if Blasko ordered her to accompany me. Inside her curvy frame, she was walking demolition and slaughter. I’d never seen any Fae or hybrid that could match her strength once she’d taken a hit.

As I watched her sleep, attempting to contemplate the future, my hormones took over, fogging my thoughts. I found myself eyeing the curve from her hip down to her waist, under the sheet. That just led me to her formidable bosom. I watched the delightful mounds shift as she breathed for a moment, and forgot about anything else. The sight convinced me it was time to wake her with kisses instead of night terrors. Hopefully she wouldn’t mind…

---

Something was pinching my butt! I grumbled and flexed my wings so I could role over, and hide my backside from the offender. “Whutt?”

I cracked my eyes open and looked around blearily, only to see Eliza grinning down at me. “Wake up! If I can’t pass out after sex, neither can you, pumpkin!”

I smiled at the strange pet name. “Punkin? Whut’n th’nine hel-“

Eliza tittered. “Don’t like it?” I shrugged a little, still drowsy. “Well, too late. I’ve decided you’re just like a pumpkin!”

I propped myself up on an elbow, unable to suppress a chuckle. “How?”

Eliza beamed at me. “You’re arrogant, like a pumpkin-“

I snorted. “-How are pumpkins-“

Eliza just powered right on through my protest. “-Your eyes are blue, and pumpkins need the sky to grow,” I raised an eyebrow at the questionable connection, “and for a vegetable, pumpkins are very impressive. A sexy veggie, if you will.”

Eliza looked so adorable, her green eyes so bright, but that was ridiculous! “A sexy veggie? Why am I a vegetable at-“

She shook her head at me, as though the comparison were obvious. “-Don’t get me started! Pumpkins are full of seeds. You’re apparently chock full of seed too,” I blushed, “or you can think of it like being crammed full of interesting ideas. See, pumpkins are the wise veggies of the garden.”

Eliza nodded, looking satisfied. I had to make one last, key point. “But I’m not orange!”

She rolled her eyes. “You’re being too literal! Pumpkins are better than, like, squash or gourds. Besides, you love my orange brassiere! So you’re a pumpkin. It’s undeniable.”

I snickered a little. “All right, so I’m a giant, orange squash. Anything for you, Liza.”

She was unimpressed at my devotion and poked me in the side, which tickled and made me squeal in a rather emasculating fashion. “So, now that that’s settled, get up! It’s our Night off! Let’s go see Fenwick-“

I waved at her, my enthusiasm minimal. “I want to bathe first, then go play with profoundly lethal critters.”

Eliza just raised her eyebrows at me and sauntered off, working her juicy booty like a taunt. A moment later I heard her mussing around in the washbasin, and hauled myself to my feet to join her.

---

It was as we were walking towards Commons that the call for Watch hit us both; that strange surge that you just never get used to. Though I supposed that was the point. We both shook it off and kept walking, wishing once again that it somehow sensed when it was our Night off and didn’t hassle us.

After a quick meal, (…and keeping my temper in check when I saw Simon check out Eliza’s chest. I definitely wasn’t imagining it; he was blatantly staring!), Eliza laid on her charm and convinced me to take her to go meet Alice’s soggy stallion. I had forgotten, yet again, how stupid love made me.

As we walked to the Healer’s Tent, I couldn’t help moping a little. Alice would surely sense that I was uneasy. What if he mocked me in front of both Eliza and that demonic mount of his? I mean, I had always respected that thing’s power, but trying to make friends with it? What if Eliza went a step further, and started wanting to be pals with every horrifying creature she came across? The vast majority of them weren’t exactly amenable to sitting down for a cup of tea, in my experience!

As we neared the entrance to the Tent, my fear intensified into a hard knot. I felt the pressing urge to flee, and was incredibly uncomfortable with only a dagger in my boot. I broke out in gooseflesh and a cold sweat.

While being a little apprehensive made sense, I shouldn’t have felt such profound dread. I looked at Eliza, about to ask her if she sensed it too, when I heard an argument coming from near the back entrance, behind the Tent. Curious, Eliza and I headed to check it out.

“Will you stop it, he wasn’t being rude!” Was that Dani?

Then, just as I rounded the corner, my balls tried to crawl into my abdomen as my penis shriveled into a raisin. There stood Big Momma and both her sons, staring down at Alice’s water horse. All four of them looked decidedly pissed off! The ceffyl dŵr had its ears pinned back, and snorted a misty spray from its nostrils. Big Momma was scowling, and one of her sons had his teeth bared. Shit!

Right as I noticed Alice was smacking the sopping wet steed on the shoulder, looking irritated, while Dani was full red in the face and making frantic gestures at all of the barghests, the tension was broken in the most bizarre fashion imaginable. Big Momma laughed her braying, ghastly laughter, and looked right at Eliza and I! “Little warrior! I see you have come to visit…” She paused, and then nodded. She looked at the ceffyl dŵr. “Fenwick, it seems they come to visit you too.”

The horse unpinned his ears and glanced at us inquisitively. Big Momma smiled, showing her rather excessive allotment of long, sharp teeth. “Both the man and the woman like to learn. As I was about to say, before my little Healer interrupted, my sons are very sorry for their offenses. They still need to learn to think before they speak. Are you not very sorry, my sons?”

Both Dymas and Donavan (I still couldn’t tell them apart) nodded. The shaggy horse appeared to roll its blazing eyes, though it was harder to read than the barghests.

Eliza piped up. “It’s good to see you again, Cedra!”

I shot a nervous glance at her before abruptly noticing the pressure in my bowels had disappeared. I had returned to a more reasonable level of anxiety. Big Momma grinned, her black eyes, so like the void, crinkling at the edges. “’Big Momma’ is glad to see you again too, little ones. But if you will excuse us, I need to review with my boys when it is completely inappropriate to loose an aura. Such as in the middle of a village of allies. Boys?”

Dani and the barghests sauntered off, wafting only a slight stench of decaying flesh. I wondered if a change in Big Momma’s diet had improved the smell? I could hear her chuckling as they walked away.

I turned to Alice and blinked. I had no idea what to say. He grinned. “Never fear, Andrew, Fenwick is more amenable to visitors than Cedra’s sons. They were just dropping by to see her.” He gave me a knowing glance. “I also owe you one. You helped me win a substantial bet the other Night!”

I blinked, confused, as Alice and his stallion both laughed! I had never heard it laugh before, it sounded like a moist donkey! Alice started laughing harder, and I was reminded that my mind was open for the taking, which made me even more tense.

Alice snorted. “Relax, Second Officer.” He waved us closer, and I could see Eliza practically bubbling over with excitement by my side. I might be too, if I hadn’t seen the thing dragging innards across so fucking many battlefields-

Alice rolled his eyes. “Fenwick, you know Andrew, the Night Watch Officer. This is his ward, Eliza. She’s very excited to meet you, so be nice, eh?”

I’d never been so close to Alice’s buddy, before. It looked a little like a dark greyish-green pony in proportions, but was bigger. Though he cast a foreboding air about him, it wasn’t nearly as bowel-churning as Big Momma and her kin’s ‘aura.’ He had fiery eyes, like the cù sìth, and smelled a bit like fish and waterlogged plants.

I had seen him sprout misty, seemingly insubstantial wings in battle, so I knew he could shape shift to some extent. I had read that his kind could turn themselves into frogs, or sometimes even mist, but I hadn’t seen him do either of those things. Though I had seen him pick enemies up, seeming almost to float high into the air, and then suddenly disappear, dropping them. I’d also read that ceffyl dŵr frequented waterfalls. I wondered if that was where this beast was from?

I noticed that his hooves seemed to be on backwards, though they had sharp-looking heels. How he kept them so, when I knew for a fact that none of the farriers would go near him, was a mystery. He also had no bridle on, which was how I had read ceffyl dŵr could be tamed.

Alice shook his head. “Fenwick is not tamed, he’s not my work horse. He comes and goes when he pleases.”

When Fenwick spoke, it was totally unnerving. I hadn’t been entirely sure he could, and yet he had the deep, manly voice of a cultured, upper class Fae! “Tell me, hybrid woman, why do you desire my company? At the least, I assume it was your idea. The Second Officer has never sought to meet me before.”

I felt my face heating up with embarrassment. I felt like a total asshole! Luckily, Eliza came to my rescue. “I had never really met very many creatures, or what have you, before meeting Cedra. I don’t mean that as a derogatory term, I just come from a much smaller Tribe, there were no Conjurers. But after I met her, and also a cù sìth the other Night, it made me reassess how I viewed things.”

She paused, and both Fenwick and Alice looked intrigued. “I mean, I’ve been treated poorly because I am a hybrid, and I would get angry at others for not giving me a chance, for judging me because of my Grampy’s people. So, I realized, that kind of thinking can be applied to anyone, really, right?”

Fenwick cocked his head at Eliza as she continued. “I mean, sure, most of the time, if Fae run into hell hounds, or your kind, there are conflicts. But that doesn’t mean it has to be that way every time. It doesn’t. Just because we’re different doesn’t mean we have to hate each other. I like Cedra, so I thought it would be neat to meet you too.”

Alice smiled. “You have a great intellectual curiosity, Eliza. But to answer your question, Fenwick likes to be scratched on his throatlatch. Just not when he’s talking.” Gods! Had she been wondering how to pet him?

Fenwick shot Alice a quick glance as Eliza approached. She smiled at him, and it seemed to soften his fierce eyes a little. “May I?”

I’d swear he was smirking as he said. “Sure.”

It was totally bizarre to see his eyes close and his nostrils flare with satisfaction as Eliza scratched just under his jaw. “Like that?” Fenwick just grunted and shoved his soggy head into her boobs. Was he… was he copping a feel on my woman?

Alice laughed, startling me. “No, Andrew, Fenwick isn’t interested in two-legged women of the non-equine sort. Though I’ve seen you eyeing some of the unicorns, you old goa-“

Fenwick snorted in disgust and pawed a strange hoof. “-I’d never! Never in a hundred years!”

Alice just laughed. “Tell me again how old you are, then?”

Fenwick made a strange noise that sounded eerily like a scoff before turning to Eliza again. “My dear, it was a pleasure. Good to have a formal introduction to your warden as well. But I fear I must take my leave. Alice is drying me out with his dusty sense of humor.”

Alice gave Fenwick a pat before he abruptly disappeared! Eliza’s eyes popped open even wider than mine. “What the fuck!?!”

I could hear both Alice and Fenwick laughing. “He evaporated. Don’t worry, if you’re around him enough, you’ll get used to it. He loves to do it for dramatic flare.” Eliza grinned widely, impressed.

Alice smiled back at her. “He likes you, Eliza. And I’m sure he’ll be impressed to know that, at least by the time he left, Andrew was thinking of him by his name instead of ‘it.’”

Once again I turned scarlet as I heard Fenwick chuckling in the distance. I guessed he must have turned to a fine mist after all, and just floated away?

Notes

the myths of ceffyl dŵr vary significantly by region. pictures: