*Eliza’s POV*

I figured we had to be getting close, as Andy stood up a little squarer and kept adjusting his hair. I reached out and touched his arm. “Hey, you don’t need to worry, I’ll behave.”

Andy grinned at me. “I know we’re off duty, so I’ve no right to ask you to be formal. I just feel like it would ease things to have an introduction now, what with some of the news we’ve been getting, just in case things rapidly go sour, you know?” I gave him a reassuring smile and fell in line behind him, putting a mental barrier in place. I was now walking behind Andrew, my Commanding Second Officer, on an ambassadorial mission of sorts, by special request. He just happened to have a great ass. Nom-nom.

We approached a dark, wooden building that appeared small and non-descript, as well as unguarded. I figured, being the Assassins’ Guild, it was likely sizeable and guarded by a plethora of deadly Assassins, though that wasn’t obvious to me, and I didn’t investigate. I figured it would be in poor taste. As soon as we went inside, I was proven correct.

The building was at least two stories after all, and sporadically lit. I had no doubt who awaited us in the very center of the main entryway, as his appearance was unmistakable: Mick the Undying, in the very flesh before me. I couldn’t help but feel a chill of excitement that he was real! He was the palest Fae I had ever seen, with clothes that were somehow black, yet, also, dark green, and dark brown. Contrary to stories, he didn’t reek of the grave at all. I wanted to peek at his wings but they were tucked neatly behind him. Just as everyone had said, he wore a hat, and I wondered what he had under there: antennae? Horns? Something else?

I glanced around me quickly, and noticed that most of the Assassins were looking at the ceiling. I shot a glance upwards, but didn’t notice any leaks, maintenance work, painting, or anything else of note. All the chandeliers seemed anchored well. Puzzled, I followed after Andrew. He and Mick shook hands in a very manly fashion. “Mick, forgive my long absence and unannounced visit. May I introduce my ward to you and your men, or would another time be preferable?”

Mick, still looking at Andy, smiled. “By all means, Andrew, it is good to see you out and about.”

Andrew gestured to me. “This is Watchman Eliza. She has already proven herself a very capable warrior. She is my ward by decree of the Council, and so she is by my side at all times. I thought it wise to bring her by so that everyone you felt appropriate could become acquainted, given the recent reports.” They exchanged a knowing nod at the word ‘reports.’

Andrew gestured to Mick, who looked at Andrew’s hand. Odd. “Eliza, this is Mick, the Leader of the Assassins’ Guild. I’m sure he needs no other introduction?”

At last, Mick proffered his hand, and met my gaze with exceedingly pale blue eyes. I was shocked his hand was warm, as was his smile. I shook it firmly and grinned, delighted! “No, of course not!” I struggled not to say anything else, I didn’t want to embarrass Andrew with my foul tongue! I couldn’t believe I had met Mick the Undying! It was hard to stand still!

Strangely, Mick looked to the ceiling himself, briefly, before a woman’s voice came from the shadows. “Well? Mick?”

Mick scowled and turned, looking none too pleased. “Robin…” His voice was quiet, and held a note of warning. I heard the woman grunt in a shadowy area and walk away. I glanced at Andrew but said nothing.

Mick sighed. “I apologize. They can be cocky little gits and often place bets on whether people from out of town will have weak handshakes and piss themselves when they meet the great ‘Mick the Undying.’” His eyes narrowed merrily and he nodded at me. “Eliza has a very firm grip, very firm, heh.” I noticed he flexed his hand and his knuckles cracked loudly. Oops. I felt my face heat up a bit.

Mick rubbed his chin and appeared to be thinking for a moment. “Well, I suppose it’s for the best to have a seat and you two can talk with Chris and his troupe, as I imagine you’ll work together quite a bit.” I noticed Mick was watching Andrew carefully. Very carefully. “How does that sound, Andrew?”

Andrew smiled. “Ideal, definitely.” My buttcheeks practically clenched at that. Andrew was nervous about talking to Chris, it radiated off of him! You’d have thought he wanted to bone the man or something. Hmm… That could be interesting, depending on who Chris was- shit, I mustn’t think about that!

I dutifully followed Mick and Andrew to a set of chairs. Mick left, saying he was going off to find Chris. When I sat apart from Andrew, he patted next to him on the bench, looking a bit hurt. That confused me; I thought we were being professional? As in Second Officer and ward, right? I shrugged, afraid Andrew was attracting attention. Yet, when I looked around us, I saw, again, more Assassins observing the ceiling. Something just wasn’t right about that. I was about to point it out to Andrew when a small horde of Assassins arrived.

The moment I stood up with Andrew to greet them, I realized what was wrong. To a man, all five men looked from my face, to Andy, to the ceiling. I looked around me again, and saw Assassins quickly looking away- mostly towards the ceiling, but a few at the floor. They were afraid. No, they were terrified; terrified of being caught eyeing my boobs!

Oh NO! This was going too far! I turned to face Andrew. He got one chance to answer well. “What have you done?”

Andrew looked surprised. “Done?” I wasn’t fooled. Playing dumb wasn’t like him, but it wouldn’t get him off the hook.

I scowled as I pointed around me. “Not a single man here will look at me, Andrew! Not even a legendary Assassin would look me in the eye for more than a few seconds! What the fuck did you say to these poor men!?!”

Andrew held his hands up defensively. “Nothing; you saw! I only made a face at Vinny; I’ve said noth-“

I was just getting started! “Something has scared the fucking shit out of an entire building full of deadly Assassins, Andrew! My tits are the size of small goats, and yet you have them so petrified they are all staring at the fucking ceiling! By the gods, no more of that! I am not an object!”

I whirled on the room, livid. “I need a lady Assassin, a volunteer to help me make a point to my partner that women are not things, that they are not helpless!”

I heard Mick speak from somewhere in the murk. “Of course, Robin would be glad to help you, Eliza. Wouldn’t you, Robin, as you are in Watchman Eliza’s debt?” His voice held an edge that brooked no argument.

Robin approached me with remarkably little fear, considering she most likely knew I was a hybrid, given her profession. I whispered to her. “I swear I will not hurt you, but do not tense your muscles, stay loose.” She nodded, and that was all I needed from her.

I opened a channel to a small storage line, intending to spook Andrew a little. I felt my eyes dilate and my little nubbins start to poke out a bit. Good enough.

I pointed at Robin and shrieked. “Don’t you dare look at my man’s tight little ass!” I picked her up with one hand and flipped her in the air, catching her easily and juggling her back up again with the other hand as she screamed and swore at me.

It was a struggle not to laugh. “That hot, massive bulge in Andrew’s pants is mine!” I grabbed Robin’s left leg and just sort of swung her around as she squawked shrilly.

After a bit, I slowed, then set Robin down. I picked her up around the chest to support her, whispering, “close your eyes,” and made it look like I was throttling her with my other hand, though I was actually just pushing her collarbone with my wrist. I roared in her face, my stupid tusks making spittle fly everywhere. “You must look at the ceiling, not at my man’s sexy body!”

Then I cracked; I just couldn’t take it. I set Robin down, and started cackling. She fell right over, but after a second, she actually started laughing too. Soon everyone was hooting and hollering. Well, except for Andrew.

I felt a soft tapping, which shocked me, as I hadn’t heard anyone behind me, and turned to find Mick smiling. “Excellent show, Eliza. I hope this doesn’t put me on your bad side, but it was actually I who told everyone to avoid eyeballing your bosom.”

The shock must have shown on my face. I heard a satisfied grunt coming from Andrew’s direction. “Word travels fast among Assassins. I didn’t want any of my men to set off the Second Officer’s infamously jealous temper.” I shot a glance at Andrew, who was now both rather red in the face and silent.

I beamed at Mick. “Why, no, Sir. In fact, perhaps, this has helped address that matter prior to it becoming a major issue?” I felt one of my nubbins pop below the gum line and winced.

Mick grinned. “Indeed.”

Notes

Here's another link to my Character book

i plan to add Robin shortly.

well, that went very smoothly, right? and introductions aren't even finished!
is anyone actually reading this?

*crickets*