Psychopathic Tendencies

"Andy, I'd like to talk about your band, if that's okay" I asked during our second week of sessions.
"It's not my band anymore, Doc" he said lazily from his metal bed.
"But it was your band once wasn't it?"
"You could say that" he sat up on the edge of his bed.
I scribbled some things on my notebook.
"Nice pencil" Andy commented on the fact was still using the one he gave me. I ignored him.
"What about Johnnie?" I asked.
He suddenly jumped up and hit the closest thing to him, the writing desk apparently. He started pacing his cell.
"You know, you're really getting on my nerves now, Doc. Here I was thinking we friends, having amazing discussions about life and each other. Then you bring HIM into it!" he banged his fist against the glass and stared down at me. His hot breath steamed up the glass.
I stood up and made my way to where he was standing, his fist still on the glass. I placed my hand opposite his, our palms separated only by the glass.
"It's okay, Andy. You can talk to me" I said, looking into his angry blue eyes.
He took a few deep breaths, his eyes flickered between mine and the thick glass that separated our hands. Finally, he grabbed his chair and sat down in it, in front of my chair. I took my seat also.
"I was alone" he began as I picked back up my notebook and pencil.
"I was in a band with four other guys, yet I cried myself to sleep every night" I felt a lump catch in my throat, I knew that picture all too well.
"After Juliet left me, I had nothing left to live for. My days were endless black holes of nothingness. I didn't want to perform, I didn't want to sing or do anything. I just wanted to fall into the dark abyss"
I stared at him intently as he spoke. I mindlessly scribbled on my notebook.
"Then HE came along" he clenched his fist again at the thought of Johnnie.
"'It's just one show' they said. 'Just until you feel better' they said. Just until, just until, just until I give up and let him REPLACE ME!" he screamed. He jumped from his chair and and punched the glass again.
"And what happened when he replaced you?" I asked, still mindlessly scribbling in my notebook.
"They threw me to the side of the road, said I was too 'unstable'" he made air quotes with his fingers around the word. He quickly grabbed his chair and placed it as close as he could to the glass. He sat in it and leaned forward.
"They set me up Doc. They had been planning it for years. I found out they'd been in discussion with him since before Juliet left. They wanted me gone, Doc. Ooohhh but they wouldn't get rid of me that easily. No Sir" he chuckled.
"So you killed them" I said bluntly.
"I had to, can't you see?!" he was getting agitated again.
"That band was my baby and he took it away from me. Now he stands up on that stage like it's his own, like he was the one who built it from the ground"
"I'm a broken man, Doc. Life hasn't been fair to me, and now I sit here every day for the crimes I was forced to do"
"Forced by who?" I asked.
"The voices"
"The voices?"
"The voices of life" he explained.
"The voice that keeps you awake at night, imagining the countless paths in life you could take and where they would lead you. The voice that says you should go down one path. And the voice that forces you to take the other "
"And what voice did you listen to?" I asked.
"The one that told me he had to die" he smiled.
"Do you know what it feels like to take someone else's life, Doc?" he asked, leaning forward in his chair. I felt myself leaning forward too. We were so close, if only the glass wasn't there...
"It's the most freeing and liberating feeling one can ever experience. We evolved to kill, Doc. Don't tell me that beautiful mind of your hasn't lusted over it" he licked his lips.
"Thoughts do not equate to actions" I whispered, biting my lip.
He raised his eyebrow.
"So we aren't that different after all" he said, placing his palm on the glass.
I placed my hand over his for the third time. He leaned his forehead against the glass, as did I. I could hear his deep breaths. If only I could feel him.
"We'd make a good team, Charlie-Lynn" he said.
"If it wasn't for this cell" I admitted.

Notes