Lies
shit
Put that down
The voice in the back of my head kept screaming at me, but I ignored it.
You’re stronger than this, don’t give up
Bullshit.
I kept making more and more blood spill. I deserved this, I deserved the pain, I deserved everything I do to myself, I don’t deserve to eat, and I don’t deserve any of my friends. I watched it drip down my arm as I heard more and more screaming from behind my door followed by banging. It was probably my mom and Danny arguing about her drinking. Again.
I let the blood flow a little bit more before I remembered. Andy is on his way. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, He can’t see this, I don’t want him to pity me. Too late. I heard the code knock on my window, but I had no time to hide it as Andy’s eyes widened at what he saw as he walked into my room. Fuck.
“G-Grey, why?” I’m so horrible, why did I let him see this, he doesn’t deserve to have to deal with me.
I stayed silent as he ran over to me and dragged me by my normal arm to the bathroom across the hall ignoring Danny and my mother arguing in the living room. He turned on the sink and ran my hand under the cold water, it stung but I didn’t care. I kept thinking about what this must be doing to him, it isn’t his fault and he shouldn’t have to deal with this, but I fucked up, again.
He grabbed the towel hanging next to the sink and wrapped my arm in it as he led me back over to my room. He pressed it there tightly and looked into my eyes as we sat there.
“Grey, you’re my best friend and I love you too much, why?” He asked, looking desperate now.
“I deserve it” I mumbled barely audible, but he heard it.
“That’s a lie and we both know it, fuck. Grey was it because of me? Ben? Did Danny touch you in any way? Cause I swear I’ll beat the living-“ I cut him off mid-sentence and shook my head.
“I told you,” I started raising my voice. “I’m a selfish annoying stupid fuck up and I fucking deserve it!” By this point I was yelling.
“No” He said as he wrapped his arms around me in a hug.
“Please don’t tell Ben or Ashley” I whispered.
“For now I wont” He said.
“Thank you” I whispered. He shook his head.
“Just please, please, please, please. Don’t ever do this to yourself again, please, please?” He said, breaking the hug a tear slipping down his face matching the probably hundreds falling down mine. I just nodded. And we sat there.
“Pull down your sleeve and I’m taking you, Ben and Ashley to a movie to get your mind off of it okay? Good” he said. I tugged down the sleeve to my shirt and he led me outside to his car.
The voice in the back of my head kept screaming at me, but I ignored it.
You’re stronger than this, don’t give up
Bullshit.
I kept making more and more blood spill. I deserved this, I deserved the pain, I deserved everything I do to myself, I don’t deserve to eat, and I don’t deserve any of my friends. I watched it drip down my arm as I heard more and more screaming from behind my door followed by banging. It was probably my mom and Danny arguing about her drinking. Again.
I let the blood flow a little bit more before I remembered. Andy is on his way. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, He can’t see this, I don’t want him to pity me. Too late. I heard the code knock on my window, but I had no time to hide it as Andy’s eyes widened at what he saw as he walked into my room. Fuck.
“G-Grey, why?” I’m so horrible, why did I let him see this, he doesn’t deserve to have to deal with me.
I stayed silent as he ran over to me and dragged me by my normal arm to the bathroom across the hall ignoring Danny and my mother arguing in the living room. He turned on the sink and ran my hand under the cold water, it stung but I didn’t care. I kept thinking about what this must be doing to him, it isn’t his fault and he shouldn’t have to deal with this, but I fucked up, again.
He grabbed the towel hanging next to the sink and wrapped my arm in it as he led me back over to my room. He pressed it there tightly and looked into my eyes as we sat there.
“Grey, you’re my best friend and I love you too much, why?” He asked, looking desperate now.
“I deserve it” I mumbled barely audible, but he heard it.
“That’s a lie and we both know it, fuck. Grey was it because of me? Ben? Did Danny touch you in any way? Cause I swear I’ll beat the living-“ I cut him off mid-sentence and shook my head.
“I told you,” I started raising my voice. “I’m a selfish annoying stupid fuck up and I fucking deserve it!” By this point I was yelling.
“No” He said as he wrapped his arms around me in a hug.
“Please don’t tell Ben or Ashley” I whispered.
“For now I wont” He said.
“Thank you” I whispered. He shook his head.
“Just please, please, please, please. Don’t ever do this to yourself again, please, please?” He said, breaking the hug a tear slipping down his face matching the probably hundreds falling down mine. I just nodded. And we sat there.
“Pull down your sleeve and I’m taking you, Ben and Ashley to a movie to get your mind off of it okay? Good” he said. I tugged down the sleeve to my shirt and he led me outside to his car.
Notes
well here's the moment of truthHERE'S THE MUTHATRUCKIN PREQUAL I PROMISED
WHO'S BEN? we'll have to find out ;)
comment rate and subscribe for more
No problem. You inspired me to add a ghost into my story. :)
5/30/13