Succubus

*Andy’s POV*

I was covered in sweat and totally miserable. It was my fucking wings; they were huge! Oona was right, I really needed to go shopping. Femme and Crow’s kitty litter aside, we really needed toilet paper and a few other things too.

If it came to it, Oona had offered to masquerade as a human, take some cash, and go buy what we needed. However, she had gone on to admit that she wasn’t familiar with how supermarkets worked. The prospect of sending her out, alone, into the daytime world, worried me. Besides, I needed to figure out how to ‘un-manifest’ myself!

I kept trying to remember how it had felt when Grampy had, well, sort of stuffed me back into myself. It felt almost like I was being flipped inside out, like a different piece of me was showing. But it wasn’t that simple! If I made a mistake and popped out whatever angel parts of me there were, who knew what could happen.

Briefly, I considered, yet again, if calling on Penemue for help would be a good idea. I figured he was probably watching me struggle like an ass anyway. Maybe he was testing me, seeing if I could handle it on my own? Besides, Penemue was a Fallen Angel, I had no idea if he could help me smoosh my incubus wings back where they normally were…

I really didn't want to bother Grampy, wherever he was, doing his research. He needed peace and quiet to find the answers we needed.

If only the whole process weren’t so damned painful! Oona had initially been watching, but after a while, I asked her to go keep the cats company, it was making me too self-conscious of my failure. I could tell I had most of it, and that my wings would even shrink, but it felt like they were getting stuck. Almost like, if I pushed, they would break.

Irritated, I put on some sweatpants, angling my tail down one leg. I grabbed a blanket and covered my head and wings like a giant poncho. Yeah, totally smooth, very subtle. The fact was, I just needed some fresh air, even if it was to smoke. I just needed to go outside!

I went through the living room and was immediately irritated that the cats and Oona had gone silent at my appearance. I heard Femme snicker at my disguise and I rolled my eyes. “I’m not going far-“

Crow chipped in, “-Thank goodness! That is the worst demonic disguise ever! An incubus in a bedspread? Brilliant, Andy!”

Femme growled a warning. “Crow… Too much!”

I heard Oona sigh as I opened the back door. “Please let him alone?”

I sat outside, full of aches and pains, nervously looking for neighbors as I smoked. It was good to actually be in the sun, albeit covered up.

I kept accidentally sitting on my tail when I wasn’t careful. Did actual, full-time incubuae just never wear pants? Did they have special tailors in the Underworld that made, like, a fly in the back, for their tails? I didn’t really feel like I would be spending a lot of time as an incubus, but maybe, one day, it would be nice to have a pair of ‘tail-hole’ pants, if they existed. Whenever I had seen Oona, early on, that hadn’t been what I had been focusing on…

I was briefly startled when the door slid open to reveal Penemue! I knew he had been watching! He made a face at me when he saw I was smoking, and I had to struggle not to say anything smart-assed. “Hi Penemue.”

“Andrew, hello there. I, eh, thought I’d check in. Er, when you were not, um, busy.” I noticed his face was red as he looked in the distance. At that point I realized I had an angel, complete with massive wings, with no blanket on, standing outside my back door.

I crushed my cigarette out, looking around frantically. “Let’s go inside!”

Penemue went inside with a chuckle. “Ah, not to worry! I’m very old, and shielded. But quick thinking, good instinct, well done.”

He turned to face me just inside the door. “I actually just came with a small piece of advice, Andrew. I used to have many descendants with similar issues, erm, of the angelic variety. I would help them often. What I learned from them is that it’s impossible to absorb a form back into oneself, unless one has accepted it as part of oneself, you see?”

I wasn’t sure, so I shook my head. “Andrew, if you are at all uncomfortable with a part of you being an incubus, manifesting and demanifesting will be uncomfortable. If you don’t truly accept it on some level, it will be impossible to demanifest on your own. The same will be true with your angelic aspect.”

Penemue gave me a rather fatherly shoulder-pat, which was odd, coming from someone who appeared about my age, though I knew he was much, much older. “That’s really all. If it gets to the point of needing toilet supplies, let me know. I am more familiar with human bazaars and currency than Oona.”

I nodded, distracted by thought. “Thanks.”

Penemue put his finger to a small, decorated mirror that was hanging as a magnet on the refrigerator. “Of course.” Just like that, he was gone. I had a lot to think on.

Notes

i had an awesome time at the show in Portland at the Hawthorne Theatre with Wednesday 13, Relapse Symphony, Toxic Zombie, Dead Animal Assembly Plant, and Particle Son.

on 5/17/16, Dead Animal Assembly Plant has another show, opening for Tim Skold at the Ash Street Saloon in Portland, OR
D.A.A.P. check them out

i know on 6/17/2016, Toxic Zombie has another show, probably in Portland, but i'll be out of town.
Toxic Zombie check them out

of course i'm also starting to get super-stoked for when Manson is coming to town (6/11), and guess-who as well.

though my "arch-rival" is correct, i have become a bit concerned that someone will out me in the middle of a meet and greet. allow me to clarify: do not do that, if you recognize me. i will be ungracious about it. it violates the major rule of real-person fan fiction, whereby the writer does not pester the 'subject/real person.' i would never seek to engage any of BVB about my writing, my only concern is that i hope it does not bother any of them, their families/etc.

on a side note, i've had a couple people come up and say hi at shows recently and i wasn't sure if they were readers of my writing and too shy to say so or just actually people for some reason awkwardly greeting me or complementing my shirt (not impossible, but unlikely). if this was one of you, and you are a reader of mine: i'm sorry, you need to be more obvious. you can say something about bvb, reading, or writing if you don't want to sing, whatever, but just saying you like my outfit isn't enough to clue me in, i'm an introvert. sorry. :O)