Succubus

*Andy’s POV*

I could hear two men arguing, Grampy and wait- Grampy? I opened my eyes, and it all came flooding back as I saw Penamoo and young-incubus-Grampy towering over me! I had to be on the floor… In, in a soft lap, I felt boobies squishing my head. Oona moved to help me sit up, but I was startled by an scratching at my hand. “Gurlgh?” I glanced down, and saw Femme was giving me little hand-kisses. Awww… Femme-baby. I sort of rolled awkwardly onto my side and moved into a sitting position, turning to look at everyone, all of whom were now staring silently at me.

“Uh… I, did I pass out?” That was embarrassing. I had only really done that from dehydration before. But I’d never previously had relatives show up, that I had thought were dead, packing horns and wings and shit, looking much younger, then had my cats try to explain it to me like it was no big deal, either. Wait a second- had Grampy cheated on Grammy? Fuck this, I needed a drink and a cigarette. “Ok, wait, I need a beer and a cigarette.”

Oona gave me a hand up, squeezed my hand, then saw I needed space. It worried me she still shielded her thoughts. There had to be even more to come. Great.

Crow started talking again! “Do you want us to come with you-“

“Holy shit! Oh my god! No! No! You can’t go outside! What if you got out of the yard? What if you never came back? Oh my fucking god! I can’t believe this is our first conversation!” I stared at Crow, my cat, not believing that he had spoken. As in, English words had come out of his mouth.

Then, to make things worse, Femme did it too.“Andy, no be sad. Pan clean, we fed. Crow dumb.”

I looked at Femme, then at Oona, and then at everyone else. They weren’t surprised. “They talk, can you hear them?” They nodded. I shook my head, overwhelmed. And explanation would have to wait, just fucking wait. “I… I, don’t… Jesus. Oh my god! Just… No, Crow, you can’t go outside! Jules, uh, Mommy would kill me if you went outside! You could get kitty AIDS-“

Grampy interrupted with some real brilliance, “AIDS? Have they not been sterilized?”

Crow cleared his throat, “-MUST we dwell on that?

I was irritated, I didn’t want to think about stupid shit right now. Crow was not allowed outside, neither was Femme, and that was final. “-Grampy! Outdoor cats could give them that if they fight-“

Now Penamoo interrupted, “-Ah, blood transmission! As though they shared needles, except via tooth and claw, I see!”

Fuck this! “Would anyone else like a fucking beer?”

Predictably, Grampy raised a hand and followed me into the kitchen. “Hey, kiddo, can I please get that hug now? Please?”

I looked at him. I had such mixed feelings. It was sinking in now, that he had left us, not died. “You’re…”

Grampy frowned and blinked a few times, looking at the ceiling. “I know. I’m not dead. I, I look different. I… I guess I’m not sorry to not be dead, but I am so, so sorry to be away from all of you. I miss you so much, every moment, every minute. I miss your Grammy-“

That hurt the most to think about, she had not taken his death well. “-She was… she took it so hard…”

Grampy looked pained. “I know, I watch her most of the time, every single day. I love her, Andy. It’s very hard for me to age past a certain point, it got harder and harder not to eat at all. I got so hungry. I was starving. I spent years trying to find a way to transfer energy to a human, so I could stay with your Grammy, give it to her. That’s still how I spend my time when I’m not watching all you guys… Damn, I miss her so much. It’s so good to see you…” And then my Grampy, who I had never seen cry, shed a tear.

“I’m so sorry, I made all the wrong choices, Andypandy. I never would have gone if I’d have known you were going to start acting anything but human. Chris never has. I mean, he’s a good-looking guy, but nothing supernatural about it, right? Dammit, I should have suspected Penemue’s little contribution to your bloodline would cause some kind of genetic miracle.”

Grampy smiled. “Shit, kiddo- look at you now! You’re everything: a human, an incubus, an angel, yet none of those things! I’m so proud of you, Andypants!” Grampy shed another tear, smiling, and I couldn’t take it anymore, I gave him his hug. Fucked up family or not, he was still my Grampy, and I loved him.

Notes

awwww... cute chappy kinda, right?