Succubus

*Oona’s POV*

I found the female cat first, sitting on the larger sofa. I remembered Crow had called her Femme, a strange name. She observed me with a poker face as I approached. Though I figured she, too, was a Kellas cat, I felt my understanding was with Crow.

"Good evening. Do you know where Crow is?" She did not speak, just gave a small nod and jumped off the sofa, leading me to a litter box by a washer and dryer set in the small pantry. She stopped a small distance away and cleared her throat loudly.

Crow's voice came out, irritated, from the litter box. "Just a minute you harridan! Andy was too busy pumping his sausage all day to scoop, and I can't concentrate in this filth!"

The female cat scrunched her face and sighed. "Oona, idiot!" She then padded over to a corner and curled into what I had come to think of as one of the many 'cat loaf' positions used by felines when recumbent. It was hard not to chuckle.

After hearing a few softly muttered expletives and scratching noises, Crow emerged from the litter pan with a scowl. "Yes? Oona, I'm not sure what could possibly motivate you to pay us a visit, though you are welcome. I apologize if I am abrupt. Your attentions have left Andy quite preoccupied and he has been negligent in his performance of the duties necessary for our upkeep."

I nodded. "Crow, I shall be forward and fair with you. Unexpected things have occurred with Andy. I am trying to determine why. I want to ensure his safety."

Crow smirked. "Well, that answers that question. It seems that you were unawares of Andy’s parentage after all. As it happens, I have answers for you. But in exchange, you must do something for us." Crow stood, without fear, confident.

Shit. I had no desire to be sent on some mad quest by a half-breed feline sprite. Time was of the essence. For all I knew, Andy might be able to control my mind or even actions. "And that would be?"

"Dump all the litter out of the litter box, and replace it with fresh. And try and persuade Andy to keep up with it regularly." I saw the girl cat nodding solemnly from her place in the corner. Oh, Andy... Was it really so bad that they were asking me to clean their toilet?

Their proposition was more than fair, and I accepted. "Certainly. I have not done this before myself, but I have watched Andy do it many times."

I walked over to the bathroom pan and took the top off. I instantly comprehended why they had asked for my help. I would not care for such a foul commode either.

I thought for a moment, remembering Andy’s routine. I went to the kitchen and looked under the sink, finding the garbage bags and retrieving one. I then cautiously scooped the fetid contents of the box into the bag using the potty-scoop. The very last dregs had to be poured. Peering behind the small shelving unit in the pantry, I found the fresh kitty litter, and refilled the litter box. Feeling accomplished, I added a small dash of the 'deodorizing' powder. I saw Crow nod in approval from the corner of my eye as I mixed it in with the rest of the litter using the scoop. Afterwards, I washed my hands. Poor felines!

"Thank you, Oona." I smiled. "What I suppose you want to know is that neither of Andy's parents are entirely human." Neither?!? "His mother's name is Amy. She is a delightful woman, very kind. Many generations back, there is angelic blood on her side." Fuck! Oh fuck! I just fed off of the descendant of an angel!

All the blood drained from my face; I felt faint. I had never heard of one of my kind doing such a thing, but I would surely be destroyed if anyone found out. It was too close to the forbidden union.

I looked around, in a daze. I realized, at some point I must have sat on the floor. Softly, I asked, "Crow, do you know how many generations, even approximately?" Hopefully hundreds!

He had a surprisingly compassionate look on his face. "You really had no idea he wasn't a normal human, did you?" I shook my head, feeling like an idiot and suppressing the rare urge to give in to tears. "Well, I actually have no idea how long ago. All that I know is because of Femme. She can smell it." Eh? Crow looked at the girl cat.

I turned to Femme, curious now about her and what other strange abilities she might have. It appeared that I had underestimated her greatly. She pressed her lips together briefly, and then spoke haltingly. "You want number? Each side?" She was addressing Crow, but acknowledged me with a bit of a nod.

"If you would, please, Femme. How many generations on each side would be perfect." She smiled and licked her lips.

"Give wet food!" She lashed her tail excitedly and made little repetitive motions with her front paws, appearing happy and eager. She started purring.

Femme clearly wanted the moist food very badly, as some form of payment. I had seen Andy give it to them before as well. I went to the cupboard and popped open a can that looked promising; '9 lives, poultry delight pâté.'

"Yes!" Femme padded towards me, her pupils dilated. Crow watched on in envy as I upended the container on the linoleum and Femme buried her chubby cheeks in the meaty-smelling pile.

I couldn't help but smile at her enthusiasm. I decided that I rather liked them both. They were practical.

Femme looked up from her meal, licking her lips and sharp, little teeth. "Good." She looked at Crow and gave him a slight nod before padding off towards the bedroom.

Crow ate the remaining food with gusto. I was curious, and wanted to go watch Femme use her strange power, but felt my observation might be unwelcome. As if on cue, Crow said, mouth full of food, "Patience. Femme will be back shortly."

I felt the curious sensation of my ears popping. I noticed that Crow shook his head at the same time. "Ah, there we go. That felt like a strong one, too." I said nothing, just waited. I'd never seen or heard of anything like this.

Femme walked quietly into the pantry and sat down. "Angel, queen side. Told you. Nine cycle." She scrunched her face.

That was a relief! Nine generations was very dilute. I couldn't hold back. "Could you tell which one? Was it an archangel? Or a fallen angel? Or anything else about them?"

She frowned, shaking her head. "Blocked. Secret." She looked frustrated. I wasn't surprised. While I was not overly familiar with Heaven's countrymen, I knew they were most definitely not supposed to beget offspring with humans. "Not dig. Hard. Not want seen." She paused. "I think; alarm? Trigger?"

Crow was nodding. "So, what Femme is saying is that she could probably probe deeper and find out for you, but some being has gone to some substantial effort to try and prevent persons, like ourselves, from tracing Andy's angelic ancestry. In all likelihood, I'd imagine the angel itself did this. Should Femme persist in sniffing out Andy's angelic forbearer, we might well bring down the wrath of an angel upon us." Femme nodded. "I assume, Femme, that you would rather refrain from doing so?"

She nodded. I spoke up. "Agreed. Do you know anything else about that side of his family that would concern me?"

Femme shook her head. "Many other. They not power... From that." So the bloodline had proliferated and diffused...

"You mentioned his father was not entirely human either?" I was nervous. If Andy’s angelic side had given him no powers... Perhaps his father’s bloodline would give me my answers.

Femme and Crow looked at each other. It surprised me when Crow spoke first. "Was it Chris' tom or queen?"

"Tom,” said Femme simply. Crow nodded. He looked filled with trepidation, and I began to feel more anxiety than I had a few moments before. "Oona, we assumed you knew this. Andy is, in part, one of your kind. Andy is the grandson of an incubus."

Notes

so, here's the deal. i have not gotten laid in just about 3 years. i got to see BVB at warped on friday. i state with confidence that seeing them play was better than sex. and i have had some fucking awesome sex. booyah!