Devin’s POV

The show was amazing. I had an absolute blast playing along side slipknot. Touring with them makes the young teenager in me so happy. Literally, almost five years ago I was dying and here I am, opening for slipknot. Enjoying our set, everything was going according to plan. We had three more songs and the crowd was insane. There was a ton of crowd surfers and huge mosh pits. It was amazing. I winked at Chris and swayed my ass as I walked past him to the other side of the stage. He shook his head softly and sent me a mini glare.

Rolling my eyes, I went up near Ryan and got close to him, to make Chris jealous. It worked. He went to Ricky and hung off of him, knowing it would make me jealous in response. The third song ended and we then had two left. Everything was going well, that is until Chris, who was standing on a riser, fell.

I watched in slow motion as the riser beneath him collapsed and he then fell. It would have been fine, if it the stage weren’t almost 5 feet off the ground. Security had been on the other side and didn’t have time to react. Chris fell face first into the ground and the barrier; the fans weren’t close enough to catch him. I watched in horror as slowly went down and then didn’t get back up.

The entire band was so shocked that we kinda just hit the last note we played and it rang through. The bass still buzzed, despite no new notes being played. Ricky and Ryan’s guitar hummed the last note before they stopped playing and looked to where Chris was. Ricky and I were the first ones to the side of the stage he had been on. I literally took my bass of and handed off to someone before jumping down to the ground. When I landed, I felt my bad ankle roll under me and felt a pop. The adrenaline running through me kept me from feeling it.

Chris lay motionless on the ground at me feet. The fans were screaming, and I was internally panicking. I got down low to him and rolled him from his face onto his back. His face was bleeding and so was his head. His spiked coat must have hurt when he fell on it. I poked his cheek and determined that he was unconscious, which scared me even more. Taking a deep breath I gave Ricky a look of despair and a nod. He knew what I meant. The Paramedics that are usually on hand for the fans came and put Chris on a gurney. Ricky tossed me a blanket from the stage and I tried to make it so people couldn’t see him. Seeing the mic still on the ground, I picked it up. With a shaky voice I said, “Hey guys. It’s Ghost here. Please I ask that you respect that Chris isn’t ok right now and don’t take pictures. Please respect his privacy. Thank you.” Ricky nodded to me and I said, “You all have been really fucking awesome tonight, and I’m so sorry it ended like this. We can't play without a lead singer, and right now he’s really hurt. I apologize to those who came to see us, please understand that this was a freak accident. Slipknot should be playing there set on time, thank you all, from the band and I THANK YOU FOR A GOOD show.” I said before turning the microphone off.

I handed it to Ryan and Ricky jumped off the stage and whispered to me, “The other band is coming out sooner, they’ll have a longer set. Their packing our shit now, Go with Chris to the hospital, we’ll follow when we get a chance. Remember to breathe. I know the moment that he’s separated from you; you’re going to freak out. Here’s your meds because honestly, I have no clue how you aren’t freaking out right now. We’re freaking out pretty bad up there.”

I knew he was weary to give me the Xanax. Hell, I was afraid of what would happen if I took it. Following the gurney out, I boarded the ambulance along with the paramedics. They wiped away the blood on his face and examined him as they drove to the hospital. They said a lot of medical mumbo jumbo that I did not understand. I had been calm on the outside until the moment the nurses and doctors took him away. Once he was gone from my sight, I broke down. A nurse saw me and said, “Hun, come with me.” I nodded. It then dawned on me that here I was, a grown ass man, crying, and wearing a skirt and low cut shirt and fake blood on my face. I felt the stares of the rest of the emergency room. She took me to a more private area and gave me water. “I do need you to fill out the paperwork for your friend. Can you do that for me?”

I nodded and answered the questions as truthfully as I could. Once she took the clipboard back, the reality of the situation hit me. My chest began to tighten and it got hard to breathe. Rocking back and forth, I fought the urge to let myself pass out. When I felt a hand on my shoulder, I literally jumped out of my seat and into the air before swinging a hand out in defense. After Liam had returned, I had been very jumpy. Despite knowing he’s dead and buried, I still jump and swing when startled. Luckily, it had been a weak punch, because if it had been full of force, Ricky would’ve had a terrible bruise.

He gave me a weak smile. I hugged him and then began to cry. Fear coursed through me, I had no idea if Chris was all right or not. Sitting down again, beside Ricky I held my head in my hands and stared at the floor. Everything happened so fast. One minute Chris was on stage and the next he was unconscious. I had seen him fall and it happened slowly, as if time slowed down. Helplessness coursed through me.

I knew I should take my medication but I was too afraid of it. It had been a long time since I had used and I didn’t want to get addicted to it again. Two times, I have dealt with addiction and I don’t think my body could handle a third. I don’t know how long we sat there, but at some point, someone finally came out and told us what was happening.

Chris had a bad concussion and was still out cold. They didn’t know yet if they would need to drill a hole in his skull to release pressure. He hit his head really hard. They didn’t know if he would have memory issues when he woke up. He also fractured his arm from when he landed on it. He literally almost broke his leg too.

Because he was bent over on stage, with one leg bent and crouching low, and had been head banging, when the riser beneath him collapsed, he fell forward and since he’d been head banging, he hit it harder. His arm was beneath him, which accounted for the fractures.


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From the moment he had been given a room, I sat there beside him and refused to move. Several shows were cancelled because he had yet to wake up. He’d been out a week and had yet to show signs of waking up. After the second day, they drilled a hole in his skull to release pressure. I wore the same outfit for most of the week because I refused to move. The guys could not convince me to move. If I did go to the bathroom, I limped my way there, and back and then sat in the chair, I slept in the chair. I refused to leave his side.

The fear that had been coursing through me for the last few days kept me from really feeling the pain in my ankle, I had also yet to sleep. For the most part, I was just dazed and in a point between sleep and reality that I had yet to leave. I still had the Xanax Ricky gave me. The nurse left me some water and at some point, I took it. For the first time in a week, I felt relatively calm. Closing me eyes, I finally slept.


When I woke up, I felt less shitty. Don’t ask me how I managed to sleep only maybe 5 hours in one week but I did. And the 8 hours I just got made me feel less dead. Standing up, I stretched. I practically fell because of the pain in my ankle. It was now that I realized how bad it was and how bad it truly was.

Something was sticking out and it didn’t look right at all, and when I tried to stand, it hurt worse. I guess when I jumped off the stage and rolled my ankle, I didn’t just like strain it, I did something worse. How I didn’t feel it before was literally beyond me but it hurt like a mother trucker. Ignoring the pain, I fell asleep again.

Notes