A New Kind Of Hell

Devin’s POV

After the release of Creatures, I became an official member of Motionless in White. My name was even on the Wikipedia page. The tour for Creatures was fun it had good memories. After we ended that tour, we went into the studio to record our album Infamous. Infamous was my first official album and my name was even listed in the back saying, “Bass and Backing Vocals: Devin ‘ghost’ Sola.

I picked up the nickname ghost at some point. I guess because I’m quiet and pale, someone said I was a ghost, and the guys caught onto that and it became a nickname, and I liked it.

We just released our latest studio album, Reincarnate. It had a lot of songs that Chris and I had worked on in high school. We graduated like 5 years ago. Chris said that it was time that the songs be released, it was something he wanted to happen, so it did.

We also switched labels a while back. We’re currently on Fearless Records and that damned rule still exists. Not that it matters anymore. The company new about Chris and I and told us that one of us needs a girl friend so it looks like we’ve “settled down” and are ready to be in relationships, now that we’re “older”.

Ultimately, that meant Chris and I had to part ways. It was hard, but we managed. It was so awkward at first but within several months, I got used to him not calling me baby. There were times I just wanted to kiss him and push him into a wall and go all the way.

What made it so hard at the beginning of our separation, was not calling him baby, texting him 24/7, going to bed with him, kissing him, everything that came with a relationship. He was my first real relationship; he was the first person that I willingly slept with. He was so many things, and mine wasn’t one of them.

It took a while, but he soon started seeing a girl. She was sweet, kind, funny, everything he could want in a woman. It was hard to see him with someone else at first, but I knew that if I truly loved him, I had to let him go. If she made him happy, who was I to deny him of happiness?

The guys were all afraid that I would slowly nose dive into the ground after that. They would check up on me constantly and would make sure I was taking care of myself. For the most part, I was. After so many years of needing so many medications, my doctor and I came to the conclusion that I no longer needed Anti- anxiety medications. I was able to control my anxiety as best as I could, and Xanax was only needed on a rare occasion.

It took a while, but I slowly weaned my self of my anti-depression pills too. The guys didn’t notice, and that’s perfectly okay. We all moved out of Salem, including my mom. She ended up in Scranton, Pennsylvania. I got an apartment out near her and lived about twenty minutes from her. Chris lived in Salem still, but Ricky, Balz and Ryan followed me out here. They liked it out here for the most part. Balz and his girlfriend opened a store that sold stuff like skeletons of animals, and creepy antique items. It was actually really cool, and quite successful.

I missed Chris on occasion, but I made do without him. At some point, I got tattoos. I had LONESOME tattooed across my knuckles. I was lonesome; I lived alone, slept alone and didn’t talk to my friends unless I had to.

Anyways, enough of my head, back to reality before I lose my sanity. We, (the band) were on tour with A Day To Remember, for their Parks and Devastation tour. Warped tour had ended a short time ago, and we now had taken on this tour. Once this would end, we would do a small tour before going on to do ‘beyond the barricade’, a tour that would have many bands, and we would be headlining. Over the years, New Year’s Day, (Ashley’s Band) had changed their lineup, but had come far. They recently released their new EP Epidemic, and it was really good. Ashley and Nikki are dating, to my knowledge.

Picking up my makeup brush, I applied the makeup to make myself look like an old hag. I also had my hair died two different colors. Once I was done, I made sure it was all properly blended before spraying the setting spray. Putting on the old lady dress, I slipped it over my head. The scars of my youth remained, but they remind me of what I came from, and that I have made it.

The show started in an hour, and doors opened already. Balz and I sat around playing cards for a while before Chidos took the stage. Once their set ended, we had to get ready to go on. On of the Roadies handed me my bass and I thanked him. Checking it’s tuning, I made sure it was perfect before joining the guys to do our pre-show ritual. Once we finished, we waited for our cue and we all went on stage in order.

The set it’s self went by pretty quickly, but it was fun. Once it was over, the guys from BMTH got ready to go on after us. I tweeted, “you guys rocked tonight! Thank you!” before posting a picture of my makeup that I took earlier. What I loved about my friends was that they never questioned what I wore, and loved me the same.

Once we had our instruments packed up, we watched ADTR play before getting on our bus and leaving. Getting on the bus, I remembered that I had yet to take my pills. I shrugged it off saying to myself that it was too late to take them and that I’d just take them in the morning.

Every night, and every day, I wanted nothing more to crawl into Chris’s bunk and hold him close like I once did. But I couldn’t, and that was A New Kind Of Hell.

Notes

sequel to Welcome to hell, i meant school

THE MOTIONLESS IN WHITE WEBSITE IS GONE

I HAD TO GET THIS FROM THE BMTH WEBSITE BEFORE THAT GOES AWAY TOO