Welcome To Hell, I Meant School
Story Telling Time
Chris's POV
From the moment I met Devin I was attracted to him. He was electric. When I was next to him, I want to be touching him. I wanted to hold his hand in the hallways. I wanted him to be mine, and be his. But I couldn't have him. He was just outside my reach, and all that I wanted. Our deep conversations we would have in his room were amazing. Someone understood the way I felt and it was incredible.
I never meant to scare him off the roof. When he fell, I was in shock. When I asked if he was okay, and he said, "I fell off a fucking roof, do I look okay?" He had me wrapped around his finger. His whole attitude intrigued me; I had to get to know him. Ricky and Balz drove us to the hospital in the band van. As they took him away, he started to say, "Don't let them know," over and over.
It was a few hours later when the doctors came and let us go to his room where he lay in the bed unconscious. When we saw him, he was almost as pale as the bedding he lay on. Ricky whispered, "He looks like a ghost." It was a true statement however. It was then when you saw how sunken in his eyes were as well as his cheeks. He didn't look healthy, and that terrified me. I was afraid I was going to lose him and we only just met. When they explained he was okay, I was content. Once I knew that he was going to be okay, I promised myself that I would do whatever it took to make sure he recovered and didn't fall behind in school since grades were important to him, because it was my entire fault; I scared him off the roof.
Ricky stayed with me the entire time since he was my ride home. We both fell asleep at some point in the night. When I woke up, Ricky was gone. Devin was asleep too. I texted Ricky and he told me he had gone to the bathroom, because when he woke up, Devin was awake, and it was really awkward. A while later the nurses kicked us out so they could run some tests.
A few hours went by and we were told the Devin was going to be released this evening. He had to be signed out by his parent or guardian. I straight up said to the doctor, "When he fell, I completely forgot to tell anyone who lived with. I started panicking and called my friends to take us here. I don't know who lives with him, it is always empty until late hours in the night, it's just him most of the time."
The doctor opened his file and found his mom; there was no mention of a dad or any other guardian on record. When she walked up, we realized she worked here, and why Devin was always alone. She signed him out and thanked me for taking him here and explained that he always had a thing for sitting on the roof, and she always told him he would fall off one day.
Several days went by and each day Devin was gone, I brought his old assignments in and traded them for new assignments. He actually inspired me to try a little bit harder. I was passing all of my classes but, I didn't apply myself sometimes, and so when I did, I actually did better. It was Thursday when Devin's mom asked me if I could stay over Friday since she worked all of Friday and Saturday. I said I could do it and that it would be no problem.
The more time I spent with Devin, the more he opened up. I let him talk about whatever he wants and when the conversation dies out a little bit, we either fall into a comfortable silence or I find something to talk about and he listens. It was something nice, something I looked forward to everyday. The more I was around him, the more things I found attractive. He loved all of the same musicians as me; he adored Halloween and Tim Burton movies. Music was something he was very passionate about and when he spoke about it, there was a shine in his eyes that was incredible. I decided it was best to just call him up and be like "hey I'm spending the night. Your mom invited me." Then warn him that I was going to because, he would try and say that I didn't need to stay with him.
When he didn't answer the first time, I figured he didn't hear the phone ring. I got more and more worried when he didn't answer on the 4th, and 5th times. Finally on the 6th, he picked up and sounded like he was sleeping. He said he'd see me when I got here and hung up instantly. Five minutes later I was at house waiting for him to open the door. Opening the door, he greeted me and gestured up to his room. By the time we got there, he seemed like he was going to pass out any second, which really worried me.
When we did get to his room, which was after like 100 stairs (more like 30), he face planted onto his bed. Asking him why he face planted into the bed if it hurt his ribs; he shrugged in response. Following suit, I face planted next to him and rolled over onto my back as I asked, "what do you want to do?" when replied "I don't know," I called him a great host and he flipped me off as he fell asleep.
The sound of his steady breathing calmed me. When he started to cry in his sleep, I pulled him close and gently held him. In that moment, I saw how small he was and how doll like he was. He was like a rag doll at my mercy and that terrified me. The next few times I came over, he would be have asleep and then would fall asleep on me half way through the homework. Sometimes he would have his head on my shoulder and other times he would cuddle into my side and then fall asleep instantly.
One day, something in me changed. At school, I couldn't talk to Devin without anyone around. I was giving him the cold shoulder and I couldn't help it. Someone had left a letter in my locker saying that if I got any closer to Devin, they would hurt him and me. Usually, I would have blown it off, and never thought twice but too much was telling me not to do that. Maybe it was the fact that the letter was written in blood and was stuffed into a vile of blood, a vile that had Devin's name on it nonetheless AND the fact that there was a picture of us in his bed, after he had fallen asleep on me and I soon fell asleep afterwards. It spooked me, and I'm not an easily scared person. I knew I was breaking him down. That's whatever this mystery person wanted. I was ruining the one thing that I had valued.
So when Devin left class early without a word to anyone, I was worried. When he did not answer any of the phone calls that Ash, Brett and the other Ashley, Ricky, Balz and I made; I panicked. He simply asked Ash if she could bring his stuff by sometime and that was the last we heard from him. I couldn't focus in class anymore, Ash looked to me and said, "Go and see him, whatever he is thinking, he is not in right mind." taking her advice, I ran and I ran fast.
Knocking on the door, I heard his speakers and him screaming. Every single door was locked, there was no way in.Where would I hide a key if I needed to hide a key? Looking in the places I thought of, I found one. Thank you to the universe for being on my side right now. Racing up the stairs, I went two at a time. Getting to his room, I saw the damage he had made. The bedding was on the floor, things were thrown around but he wasn't here. Going into his bathroom, I found him on the floor sobbing. The first thing I did was examining everywhere I saw blood. Cleaning the blood off him, I then picked him up bridal style and carried him downstairs to my house where my car was parked. Taking him to the hospital, the nurses cleaned him up and talked to him about what happened.
Calling his mom, I told her that he had trashed his room and smashed the mirror in his bathroom. I stayed with him the entire time but didn't say a thing. There wasn't anything I could say, or think to say. The silence between us was intense. When the nurses were done, we went back to his house. Nothing was said. His mom, who had been at the store picking up some things, came home and cleaned his room up. The Bathroom was cleaner but a few things could be done to finish it off.His mom asked for a moment so I went downstairs to get some stuff to clean the bathroom.
I heard bits and pieces of their conversation, something about pills and him not taking them. Lacee, his mom called for me. Putting down what I had been holding, I ran up the stairs."Can you get me the Anxiety pills out of the drawer in his bathroom." she asked me.Nodding, I then went through the drawers. I found the bottle, but it was with items I wish I had never seen in that drawer: razors.Devin mumbled, "he hates me, he hates me, I hate Me." and it broke every part of my heart. Handing Lacee the bottle, she took a pill out and had to force Devin to take a pill. Once he began to calm down, I picked him up from lying on the floor and put him in the bed and tucked him in. "Feel better Dev." I said softly as I made sure he was under all of the covers.
Lacee sighed and said, "You probably want answers to what just happened. He'll be out for a while. Let's go to the other room." Nodding, I followed her down the stairs to the living room.
"This is the worst he has been in a very long time. I understand that you have seen Devin the way he is, the way he presents himself to you. He hides what he feels and bottles him self up until he cracks. Today, he cracked. What I am about to tell you is very personal for him. Only a few know. Please don't tell anyone. Promise me you won't. He will never trust me or you again if people find out."
"I promise not to tell." I said honestly.
"Okay. So I'll start from the top. Things weren't always bad for Dev. He had friends, was happy and had good grades, and His dad was around. Things slowly started to change for him and us. I found him putting on my clothes one day and trying to put on my makeup. I laughed about it and thought he was just curious and didn't think twice. It happened a second time and then a third and a fourth. I asked him about it. He said he liked it and wanted to wear it. I didn't think it was bad I supported him. If wearing what I wore made him happy and he liked skirts and tights, so be it. He was still my little boy even if he dressed like a little girl.
One day his dad saw. He screamed at him and demanded he took it all of. Devin was nine. His dad, Ronnie was so mad that he put a lock on our closet and locked up all of my makeup and clothes so Devin couldn't get into it. Devin was saddened but he didn't let it bother him too much. Ronnie had lost his job when Devin was 11. He came home and was upset. I wrote it off as he was just mad and was worried about the bills. Ronnie then spent most of his time in bars drunk or doing coke at parties. Devin was 12 when he came out. I knew long before he did, but I didn't care. If he found someone he loved one day, I wouldn't care who they were as long as they loved him back.
Ronnie didn't want a "fag" for a kid. So he tried to hit it out of him. I instantly told Ronnie off. When Ronnie struck me, I had enough. I packed up our things out of the house Devin grew up in and we moved. In the process, I filed a police report and a restraining order. His dad eventually was caught and arrested with a lot of other warrants. Since then, his dad has been in jail for 5 years. His sentence was 20 years. We moved from California to Texas. Things were good for a year. When Devin was 13, began to get in fights.They ranged from small things to his head being slammed into a locker.
I pulled him out of that school and put him in another. It happened again. I got a chance to work in another hospital in Massachusetts. We moved all the way there in the middle of the school year. He started High school and I hoped things would get better. They did for a short while. He turned 14 and was happy. I let him where whatever he wanted. It was halfway through the year when he wore a skirt for the first time to school. He thought his friends would accept him. They did the exact opposite. They alienated him. They beat him until he was near dead.It happened until the end of the year. I worked so much I never saw the bruises.
I saw him breaking. Over the summer, he started to lose weight, a lot of weight. By the time he was 16, he weighted roughly over 120. He was admitted that summer. He recovered and got back up to 132, close to what he originally was. I was so proud of him. While he was an inpatient, they diagnosed him with Anxiety, Depression, an eating disorder, and mild schizophrenia and self-harm. They gave him medications, to keep him from having more breakdowns. His sophomore year, they found out about the medications. They beat him so bad; his face was so bruised and swollen he couldn't see out of his right eye. His left ankle, they shattered it. When it gets cold, he cant move it, it locks up and causes him intense pain.
He changed schools again. It was still terrible but it was better. We moved all over the state, trying to find a better school. Where he could be himself. Then we ended up here. His grades improved but he had no friends. He met that young lady she got him to talk. He hasn't talked in months. Then he met you; you got him to talk more than I've heard him say in years. You changed his life. He picks up his bass, he sings. I've not heard him sing in years.
Please don't leave just because he has problems. He just needs to get back on track again. He did well for a long time. Give him a chance. I see how you look at him. He looks at you that same way. Give him a bit, and then take him on a date. Make him yours. Please, I know you care about him. Please just don't lead him on and then leave. His last boyfriend did that. Liam made him fall for him so hard, but Liam never cared for him. It was all a game for him. He got off on making others suffer. We moved to get away from Liam several times. Dev is so strong and so brave. He's been near death multiple times and he fights on. He's the reason I get up every day. I would have given up if it weren't for him. When I look at him, I see his grandpa. He would have been so proud of him. Devin is difficult and quiet and hard to get along with sometimes, but when he lets you in, you see how incredible he really is. Things aren't always easy, but the best things in life never are."
She then excused herself to go and check up on Devin. When she came back, she hugged me tightly and started to cry. " I'm sorry. If you need anything, please just let me know. I'm going to go lie down, you can go ahead and sit with him while he rests." I gave her a hug and then went up to Devin's room.
I honestly had no clue what to feel or what to think. Devin has suffered through so much and he still stands. It all makes sense now to why he is the way he is. He is so strong. Sitting down on the edge of the bed, I recovered him with the blankets.He rolled onto his side and mumbled, "Come here."Following his command, I sat down beside him. "Lay with me." he said again. Pulling my shoes off, I crawled under the covers with him. He put his face in my chest and then fell back asleep.
Wrapping my arms around him, I then realized, there was nowhere else I'd rather be but here.
