Devin's POV

Waking up the next morning in the hospital the next morning was nerve racking. I had no clue what to expect. My arms were wrapped in gauze from what I could tell. At least the Jacket they let me wore helped hide the gauze from being seen.

Looking around the room, I saw Chris and his friend Ricky sleeping on the couch. It was kinda funny. Chris was so tall that his legs hung over the edge of the couch because he didn't fit. Ricky had his feet propped up on the end of the bed as he slept in the chair next to Chris.

Pressing the call button, a nurse came in. She checked me over and for the doctor to come and explain my injuries. Thankfully the two practical strangers were still asleep on the other side of the room. I did not want to have to explain things to them just yet.When the doctor came in, hr told me what was wrong. Apparently, a few of my ribs were broken, and a few ribs were bruised. Also, my left wrist had been fractured. They wrapped my arms in gauze and cleaned them.

The doctor gave me the same speech about suicide and seeing a therapist for help. It was literally the same stuff they've told me before. To which I replied, "You really thought I'd try again? It's been three years and I'm better now. It was ONE time."

The doctor sighed and said, "Devin, it says here on file three attempts, two for severely under weight, once for nearly bleeding out, all the fights, and now this time."

"IT was an ACCIDENT this time. I was sitting on the roof and got startled by the tall one over there. I fell. No big deal." I tried to argue back.

"Look, Devin, I don't want to have to admit you. I will if I have too however, if the therapist suggests it."

"I'm not sick again. I'm just stressed out from school. I have good grades for the first time. I have all A's. I've never had that before, only C's and D's. I'll be able to graduate on time if I pass all of this semester and I make up some of the old credits I needed. Everything is fine. You don't need to do anything." I tried to reassure him.

I knew what I was thinking. Get the doctor to believe me. If he believes that I'm okay, its one less thing to worry about. It was easier said than done, but I did it. Once he left, Ricky and Chris began to wake up.I really hope they did not hear the conversation that just happened. I do NOT need more people to sell me out and jump me for being an "emo" freak. I already deal with enough.

The room was cold and definitely making my joints hurt, especially my ankle. Putting the blankets around my ankle mostly and wrapping it, I tried to warm my ankle up. If it got too cold, it would be too painful to walk. Ricky was awake before Chris. It was extremely awkward. He looked like he didn't know what to say. "I uh have to go to the bathroom." He said awkwardly before practically running out of the room.Once he was gone, the room returned to the calm lull it was at. The sounds of Chris's sleeping form on the couch calmed me enough to make me start to fall asleep. Once asleep, I slept for a long time.


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My stay in the hospital was short thankfully. Thankfully all I had to tell Chris was that I had broken the bones from the fall, not that the stupid jackass kids had broken them almost a week ago. The fall made the fractured bones crack completely. The doctors put a wrap around my ribs that I had to wear until they healed completely which was supposedly several months. My mom was called; technically, she only walked up to the ward I was in from the ward she works in.She was pissed about how she found out, and how I fell off the roof. She somehow didn't find out about my arms which was really good, I didn't need another confrontation from her.

I spent a few days at home recovering. Chris felt really, really guilty so he brought me my homework every day over the last week. It was currently now Friday morning, which meant my mom, worked a double shift and I was alone until almost 8-tomorrow night. I've not been eating with my pills so; my stomach has been really upset the last few days. With my ribs wrapped, it was not noticeable about how tiny I had gotten. I was proud of my progress. My starting weight was 138 lbs. The smallest I've ever gotten to be was 119, and the only reason I stopped at that point was because I had passed out and was taken to the hospital.After that point, I was never able to put on all the weight I had lost. My starting weight this time was 132 and I was currently 125.

While at home, all I did was go back and forth from playing music to listening to music to doing my homework. Thankfully I get to go back next week. I've been absolutely bored beyond belief and I've been alone for most of it. My thoughts have driven me to the point of near insanity. I hear the floor creek while I'm in bed. It sounds like some one is walking around while no one is here. When I shower, it sounds like someone is calling me.

I have been so lonely that I actually talk to Chris when he's here. He asks about what I do everyday; I tell him I made food and did a lot more than I actually did. What's pretty nice is that he doesn't force me to talk; he lets me talk when I'm ready. We talk about music and things we are passionate about. He gets this look on his face when he's deep in thought or when he's deeply passionate about something. It is literally so attractive that I want to push him into my bed and never let him leave.

Yup. That's another reason I got beat up at my old school. Someone started the rumor that I was gay (I actually was) and that led to more intense beatings. I haven't told anyone here yet. My mom knows and is supportive. I highly doubt Chris is gay or even at least Bi. He doesn't have that "vibe" that anyone who is not straight has.

I was currently sitting on my bathroom floor with my blood leaking from broken skin on my thighs. If i couldn't change my self or my thoughts, I could cut them out, right? As I tried to escape my thoughts, I zoned out, eventually falling asleep. When I woke up, it was in the middle of the afternoon and Chris was calling me.

"Hello?" I said still sleepy.

"Hey. I'm on my way. Your mom told me she was going to be home until tomorrow night and she asked if I could stay with you. She it was a long time for you to be completely alone."

Fuck. I thought internally.
" Alright. Where are you?"

"I am about 5 minutes from your house."

"Okay. I'll see you then."

I then hung up without another word. Looking down at my legs, I grabbed all the shit I used to clean up the mess that I call my body and got to fixing it. Wrapping each thigh in gauze, I then put on leggings and then sweat pants over them with fuzzy socks to keep my feet warm.I was absolutely freezing. Putting on a long sleeve shirt under a T-shirt, I then put on a jacket. By the time I finished, he was here. Running down stairs, I had to catch my self before I fell. By the time I got to the door, I was beyond tired.

"Hey." He said as he walked in after I opened the door and greeted him.

We walked up to my room and he put my school stuff on my desk. Face planting into the bed, I rolled onto my back. Sadly, when I did this (and I do it all the time) it hurt my ribs. Chris asked me why I did it if it hurt and I shrugged. When he face planted next to me and then rolled onto his back beside me, I got butterflies. The closer he got, the more magnetized I felt to him.

"What do you want to do?" he asked.
"I don't know." I answered.

"What a great host."
In response, I flipped him off. Closing my eyes, I started to fall asleep. The last thing I remembered was Chris's body close to mine.

Notes