Welcome To Hell, I Meant School
At Least My Grades Are Good
Devin's POV
If you asked how school was, I'd tell you that hell was fine. But in reality, it was really far from, fine. it was terrible. My only friends were Ashley and her best friend Nikki, whom I hung out with during lunch and break. She kept telling me that I would love her other friends too, but they weren't here at the time. Apparently, the group of guys she told me about are all in a band, and they play a few shows out of town every once in a while. Currently, they were all a few hours away playing a few shows this week at some club and they would be back next week.With how much she mentioned them, I was intrigued to what they would be like.
The homework wasn't difficult but it wasn't easy either. I got it done however. The fridge also now has food, so that's a positive. I also started talking to this guy in my math class named Brett. He was cool, liked the same stuff as me for the most part; he also hung out with this guy named Ashley. I don't talk to them exactly but they say, "nice shirt" and stuff. So I did have some human interaction.
Its not that I hate people, I'm just very shy and also afraid that they are going to hurt me and use stuff I tell them against me. Some of my friends at my other school had sold me out so save their own asses from being beaten into oblivion. I got the beating instead. My left ankle has never been the same since they tried to break it, and in the cold, it hurts like a bitch; which makes me walk with a slight limp. So, in my opinion, My reasons for not being very open to people was justified. Ashley (the girl one) however seemed to bring me out of my shell more and more I interacted with her. I've gone to school all this week and I've said more to her than I have said to my family in probably six months. She has this bright smile that she has when she talks about her band, which Nikki is in. I see how they look at each other, at its precious; but they don't see that they both like each other. I think the first thing I said to Nikki, was how he should get with Ashley some day because they would be so perfect together. He said that one day they would be together but not at the moment, High school was just to hard and with them trying to get the band going and being successful, it wouldn't work.
Getting up from my bed, I got my bass from the stand and practiced some songs that I have written a while ago. Getting lost in the music, when I eventually became aware of my surroundings, it was 2 am. Probably shouldn't have started playing at like 11, but oh well. So I could either sleep or I could just find something to do. hearing foot steps in the hall, I pretended to be asleep. Hearing the door open, I stayed still with my eyes closed. this had two ways of ending and I was praying to whatever God may there may be, that it was the one I was hoping for. When I felt The blankets being pulled up and put on me, I let out a silent breath and calmed down from the panic attack I was about to have.
"I'm sorry I'm not around as much as I should be. I promise I'm going to be around more. I love you Devin. Good Night." My mom said before leaving my room. I don't remember much else but I remembered falling asleep.
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The weekend came and went. I pretty much stayed in my room all weekend and played my bass, and also watched some Tim Burton movies. The weather outside was changing from Summer to fall and I was sad to see all the warm weather leave, but I did really love the fall. The leaves all fall and die and there's a Halloween vibe that is really enjoyable. I also did see my mom. She had given me a big hug and asked how school was. Of course I told her I had a lot of friends and was doing well, because telling her that would make her feel less bad about leaving me alone all the time. She worked really hard, she didn't need to worry about me. It's not like I've done anything stupid in the last year. well, anything that she has known about. Because it's really easy to hide things when no one is around asking you questions.
Its also easy to hide the bruises I get at school. I can easily say that I'm cold and wear a bunch of layers. With my recent weight loss however, my clothes look larger on me than they have in years. I know I shouldn't do what I'm doing but I've made it this far and I don't plan on stopping yet, not when its working. My mom knows about some of what happened twoyears ago, which was my freshman year. Well, she knows what the school told her.The school said that I had gotten in a fight and had initiated it. That was quite the opposite from the truth. I was beaten by a bunch of kids who were rich and could easily bribe their way out of trouble. The school told her that I had "issues" and "needed to see a therapist".Naturally, I refused.When I refused, she got mad and took away everything I loved: My bass, all of my movies and my TV, my favorite clothes and my phone. Because she took away everything I needed to cope with the shit people put me through, I got more quiet and more angry. The more they pushed me around, the more I pushed back.
Eventually the beatings turned to fights. I slowly lost my friends and slowly became more and more of a mess. That's where story about my left ankle comes in. I don't remember everything that happened because of the head injury I got but I do remember how much pain I was in. I remember getting hit in the head multiple times and then my head slammed against the lockers a few times before being dropped to the floor, where theykicked me all over. One guy got the bright idea to try and break my ankle and my foot. I don't know what he did but whatever he did, I have never felt that kind of pain in my life ever before then. I passed out from pain and woke up in the hospital. Of course I got in trouble and then expelled from that school and ended up at the school I came from before moving here. Things at my last school weren't as bad as the first school but it did not improve that much.
Anyways, back to my current task, write an essay about someone you look up to, why and how they have influenced what you do. It was due Thursday and it was currently Monday. I had no clue who I wanted to write on. The period ended at lunch was coming up. Ashley had picked up on that I didn't eat lunch. I told her that I didn't like the school food. When she saw what they were serving today, she said she didn't blame me. I also met a few more of her friends today. Nick, Jake and Anthony had been sick with food poisoning last week. Apparently they had shared some food at this really shady restaurant and got sick afterwards. They were nice but I didn't quite fit in with them.They were their own group and I didn't quite belong.
Ashley (the guy) and Brett tried talking to me more in class today. Ashley was very shy when Brett wasn't with him. Those two were like two peas in a pod, always together. Ashley had told me one time that Brett reminded him of his old friend Andy. Andy had gotten very ill and was in the hospital in a completely different state. Ash talked about how Andy and some of his other friends were in a band together. When he got sick, the other guys went to Stanford hospital in California where he was. Ashley's grandparent's wouldn't let him go, so he barely talked to his band mates and was afraid that they were going to replace him. I don't blame him, if I were in a band, I'd be afraid too.
By the time the day ended, I was tired and all I wanted to do was sleep and I had more homework then normal. The walk home was spent practically running since I really did not want to get beat up yet again. Once I was home, I quickly went up to my room and started my homework. I tried to get it all done. Math made me frustrated beyond belief and I had to walk away from it several times. It took me awhile to figure out who I wanted to write my essay on. I ended up writing it on my mom since that would be the easiest and I could bull shit it and they would never know.
When I finished, it was well past 11. Food was little interest to me at the moment, all I wanted to do was to crawl into my bed and sleep for all of eternity.
The last thing I thought of before l fading into the nothingness I loved was, " At Least My Grades Are Decent At The Moment."
