Left Broken
It Starts
Kathy held me and we cried.
"I'm so happy for you Chloe. I don't have to worry about you anymore, lay awake at night wondering if I'll hear from you the next morning." Kathy cries
I go and tell Troy and momma that I'm free, and Troy just holds me in his arms as a calmness comes over me.
That was a few days ago. I haven't had much contact with Gus since, until today when he messaged me...
"Hey how come you don't talk to me"
"According to your status you know why"
"I thought I did. This whole thing is messed up and I can't take not seeing you an it like I never exsisted"
I roll my eyes, I will never be able to forget you exist. I will always remember the way you scared me, the way you put your hands on me, but I don't send that...
"Sorry? I've been hanging with friends"
"This is really hard for me"
"Sorry?" I'm really not
"If you were we would still be together"
"I'm sorry this is hard for you, not for my decision" I send, prod of myself for saying it
"I messed up and I would do anything to take it back"
I shake my head..."We've said that before, there's no going back"
"Chloe don't just shut me out you're all I want I don't want anyone else" (Remember this line)
"I'm not shutting you out, I meant what I said when I said we could be friends, but I can't be your girlfriend anymore"
"U weren't my girlfriend u were my fiancee my whole world my rock I have nothing now. I miss you Chloe I can't live in this world without you always and forever remember. I love you always will."
I can't take this anymore, all he's trying to do is guilt trip me back to him, It's not going to work this time. "STOP"
"Y BC I know deep down u still love me too"
"I wouldn't take it that far... Do i still care about you as a person yea..."
"Bullshit how do you just not love me anymore. Almost 2 fucking years and u walk away"
"Not 2 years, still had a long way to go. Yes I walked away but for good reasons."
"What are the reasons?"
"For one. YOU TRIED TO KILL ME WITH A PILLOW CASE! For two. You got angry I was hitting my head on the wall in frustration so you tried to send my head through it! For three. You yell at me saying I'm a bitch, saying I'm retarded, saying you want to hit me or kill me. Shall I go on?"
"So you think I want to kill you? I love you Chloe, I messed up."
"You had a weird way of showing it most of the time. I already told you why I left, I'm tired of empty promises, I'm tired of being scared of you. I'm tired of being cut down. I'm tired of us arguing. We are at two different stages of our lives. I love that I'm going to school to better myself, you hate it and cut me down about it all the time. You smoke, you drink, I hate that shit. I put up with it for you, I can't anymore. You keep promising things but never come through"
I get all of it out, tired of holding in my feelings when it comes to him.
"Fine u want this so be it."
"You caused this! Don't blame me!" Now I'm angry. He's trying to make me feel bad by saying this is my fault?
"Plz forgive me for what I'm about to do, I love you. I'm done trying, I guess only one of us gets to be happy."
"oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooookaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay"
I respond, done trying too. If he wants to kill himself, I'll mail him the gun to do it...
