Maybe there's still hope
Whiskey and brake downs
CC's POV:
We walked on the bus and saw Jess laying on the couch. She was adorable.
Andy laughed
" she's been really tired lately" Jinxx said sitting down next to her
" someone want to bring her to her bunk?" Jake asked
" ill take her " I said and I picked her up bridal style .she started to wake up.
" shh baby it's okay go back to sleep" I layed her in my bunk and I grabbed a pair of shorts and went to change.
I came out with no shirt and blue sport shorts and went to my bunk. She was sleeping , smiling I climbed in next to her and she stirred alittle.
She's so cute when she's sleeping.
I put my arm around her waist and pulled her close. She nuzzled her head in my chest with a smile . I stroked her hair untill I fell asleep .
---------------------
Jessica's POV
I woke up to the feeling of someone against me. I opened my eyes to see I was cuddling in cc's shirtless chest. I smiled . I noticed his eyes were open and he smiled at me and kissed my head.
" morning baby" he sang
I smiled and readjusted so I was looking at him still in his arms.
" morning , where are we going today"
"Colorado, well be there soon. It's 2"
" wow so late, how long have you been up"
" I don't know like a hour and a half "
" why didn't you leave?"
" I didn't want to wake you up"
I smiled
" thank you"
" welcome ready to get up?"
I groaned
"I'd rather cuddle" I said snuggling into his side.
He laughed and kissed my lips
"Come on get up"
He got out and looked at me
" no" I rolled over
" don't make me get you out of bed"
" you wouldn't"
" oh yes I would" he laughed .
He started tickling me then picked me up by my waist.
" no no"
" come on" he said
He brought me to the front where the Guys were watching tv. They all laughed.
" finally got her up?" Jake asked as CC sat down bringing me on his lap.
" yeah she didn't want to get up"
I got up and want to the fridge. I opened it and got a apple.
I sat next to Jinxx and ate it watching jake and CC play a video game.
" why are you always so tired?" Ashley asked
" before you guys came , I didn't sleep, at all so I guess it's catching up to me."
" wow , that makes sense " jake said
" yeah, I know it's weird."
" how long has it been happening?"
" a year "
" did your mom and dad know?" Ashley asked
" yeah. I told them everything , they knew about my self harming and said it was just an attention thing so they didn't bring me to therapy and they said me not sleeping was nothing."
" that's terrible." Andy said
" yeah, they didn't like who I was so they ignored my problems , They knew about me getting beat up too , told me if I didn't dress and listen to the music I did people wouldn't do that to me."
" what the fuck?! Who does that to their child! I had no idea Jess.." Jake said getting upset
" i don't know "I mumbled
" .. You can't go back with them. I won't let you, you'll stay with me , I don't care I won't let you go back there" jake said
" I agree" Jinxx said.
" jake I'm still 17 technically if they want me back they'll take me back"
" we'll let's hope it's not untill your 18"
" I know" I said
Jinxx rubbed my back
" don't forget we're picking up Sammi from the airport soon." He said
" I almost forgot!" Andy said
" she can't wait to meet you Jess." Jinxx said smiling.
" awsome atleast I won't be the only girl"
They laughed and continued their game .
" I'm goig to change" I got up and went to my bag
I got out black skinny jeans and a black Skelton loose shit with cuts in the back. I grabbed a purple tank top ,bracelets and my make up. I made my way to the bathroom.
I turned on the shower and stepped in letting the warm beads envelop me. I washed my hair and body quick before I stepped out. I dried of and put my cloths on .
I dried my hair and straightened it noticing the blond was fading alittle I'd have to re dye it soon. I put on a thin layer of black eyeliner and then put bracelets on each wrist. I haven't cut since I've been with them and i felt so much better. I steppe out and put my cloths away. When I turned around CC was standing there smiling.
" your so beautiful."
He kissed my lips and I smiled into the kiss.
" if you say so"
" you are , your the most beautiful girl I've ever seen . "
I smiled
" your amazing" I said and kissed him again.
The kiss deepened and his tongue entered my mouth . I put my hands around his neck and he put his on my waist.
After a few minutes we stopped when a pillow hit my head.
" ow" i yelled
" we're at the airpor to get Sammi keep your cloths on "Andy said and left
" we always get interrupted dont we?" I asked smiling at him.
" I know." He kissed me again and grabbed my hand leading me out.
" jinx is getting her then they'll come back here." Jake said
I sat next to him and CC sat next to me with his arm around me as we watched Andy and ash arm wrestle at the table. After 20 minutes the door opened and Jinxx walked on with his arm around Sammi.
" Sammi!" Andy screamed and got up to hug her. She hugged the rest of them leaving me standing their awkward.
" uh hi.. I'm Jess" I said shyly and she smiled .
" I know that! Jinxx told me about you, come here" she said pulling me Into A hug.
I laughed and hugged her back.
" great to meet you now you won't be alone with these animals" she said
" hey.." Andy wined causing us to giggle.
" they're not that bad.. " I said . She laughed and dragged me with her to set her stuff up. I had a feeling we would be great friends.
--------------
After the show me and Sammi decided to go hang out in the back lounge and talk. On the way back there she took 4 bottles of whiskey and walked back.
We sat across from eachother and she unscrewed the cap ." I dont encourage underage drinking but once I awhile won't hurt. Have u had alcohol before?" She asked.
" yeah I steel my moms alcohol all the time" I said
She smiled and handed me the bottle.
" now lets talk , I wana know about your past, I won't judge but if I know ill understand you better" she said and I took a swig . It burned down my throat but it tasted good.
I told her about my past each time I took a sip of the whiskey. By the time we were done I had a bottle down and I was started to feel funny.
After 2 hours the guys came in the back lounge to see me and her sipping off our 2nd bottles.
The guys laughed except Jinxx.
" Sammi she's 17 you can't be getting her drunk" he said taking the bottle from me.
"Oh come on Jinxxy " she said
I stood up but stumbled over feeling light headed and drunk.
" see exactly my point" he said as the guys chuckled.
CC picked me up . He went to my bunk and put me in it.
" go to sleep my little drunk ill see you in the morning" he said kissing my head.
I woke up with my head pounding. I checked my phone to see it was 1.All of the sudden my bunk curtains were ripped open the sudden light killing me.
Ashley stood there smirking
I threw my pillow at him groaning and rolled over.
" we'll aren't you in a good mood , now get up lazy well be stopping in about an hour"
"No leave me alone"
" fine have it you way"
Just then I was grabbed by my waist and thrown over his shoulder causing my headache to hurt even worse.
He laughed and walked into the living area I buried my head in his shoulder.
" looks like someone has a hangover" jake said
Ashley dropped me from his shoulder suddenly making me fall on my head again.
" Ashley !" Jinxx yelled
" fuck you, " I groaned. That hurt like hell. I just stayed on the floor .
." Jess you okay?" Jake asked
" yeah "I said groaning again
" get up then" jinx said
" never.." I curled into a ball and he chuckled.
He lifted me up and out me on the couch next to CC. He came back and headed me aspirin and water.
" thanks" I said and took it curling into CC. Sammi did the same to Jinxx when he sat back down.
I wasn't paying attention due to my terrible headache . I was drawn out of my thoughts when everyone looked at me.
" what ? Sorry couldn't hear you over the concision Ashley gave Me." I said and they laughed
" we said you should probable get dressed because well be stopping soon" Andy said I nodded and got up feeling light headed.
" fuck , Sammi never let me drink again" I said making my way to the back.
I put on white skinny jeans and a black streetlight manifesto shirt. I put eye liner on and did my hair. I put on a bvb hoodie and walked out seeing that we stopped at an rest area with an ihop.
After we finished eating we hung in the parking lot talking with the of mice and men guys and messing around.The guys started to chase eachother so I moved back against the bus watching them. I felt someone next to me and looked to see it was Phil.
" hey Phil why aren't u with the animals?" I asked causing him to laugh
" not really into running around like in a parking lot" he said chuckling as I saw Austin pick up jake.
" how about you?" He asked
" hangover." I said rubbing my head.
" woah who let you drink little miss underage? Got it bad?" He asked rubbing my shoulder.
" Sammi and me had some whiskey and it wasn't that bad until Ashley dropped me on my head" he chuckled
" alright guys lets get on the road" their tour manager said and they stopped running.
The driver got on and we followed. I went to my bunk and went on Facebook for the first time in forever. I signed in and had 57 messages all from kids at school. I scrolled through and they were all the same
Die
Slit your wrist too deep?
Miss you fag
Your so pathetic
Ugly bitch
I read them and my vision blurred. I got out and ran to the bathroom . I took one of my razors and smashed it taking the blade out. I shouldnt. its stupid. I'm stupid. i shook my head and rolled my sleeves up. The words worked in my head and I sliced. After 15 cuts on my right arm I went to my left . I sat down and looked up.
" what's wrong with me?" I whispered. I was startled when a I heard a knock.
" Jess... Are u ok?" Jinxx asked
I froze.
" yeah I'm fine I'm sorry il be out in a sec." I wiped my face and wrists. I pulled my sweatshirt on and opened the door keeping my head down.
I tried to walk past Jinxx but he pulled me back in the bathroom and locked the door.
" what are you doing?" I asked trying to go for the door.
" show me your wrists?" He asked holding his hand out. I froze how'd he know.
" Jinxx I didn't let me out." I said going for the door.
" then show me if you didn't" he said sternly. I shook my head. And tried to get past him.
He grabbed my sleeve and tugged it up gasping at the sight. He grabbed the other one and did the same.
" Jess.."
" it's nothing can I please go." I asked trying to get past. He picked me up and set me on the sink. He started to wash the cuts.
" no you can't not untill you talk to me."
" Jinxx.."
" why did you do this again you were doing so good" he said tracing over them.
" just things people said to me it's stupid"
" no it's not if it gets you, it's not stupid at all"
" just reminded me how much of a failure I was"
" your not a failure , your amazing"
He brought me into a hug and I wrapped around him. Jinxx was the closest to me besides CC and jake , he was like my father figure and I loved it.
We stayed like that for a good 10 minutes.
" lets go they'll be worried and listen, no more come to me ill listen I dot care how long I'm always here for you" he said
" and I won't tell them " he said and I smiled.
I followed him into the back lounge and cuddled with CC.
Andy put on batman despite everyone's arguments. I was starting to get used to this.
We walked on the bus and saw Jess laying on the couch. She was adorable.
Andy laughed
" she's been really tired lately" Jinxx said sitting down next to her
" someone want to bring her to her bunk?" Jake asked
" ill take her " I said and I picked her up bridal style .she started to wake up.
" shh baby it's okay go back to sleep" I layed her in my bunk and I grabbed a pair of shorts and went to change.
I came out with no shirt and blue sport shorts and went to my bunk. She was sleeping , smiling I climbed in next to her and she stirred alittle.
She's so cute when she's sleeping.
I put my arm around her waist and pulled her close. She nuzzled her head in my chest with a smile . I stroked her hair untill I fell asleep .
---------------------
Jessica's POV
I woke up to the feeling of someone against me. I opened my eyes to see I was cuddling in cc's shirtless chest. I smiled . I noticed his eyes were open and he smiled at me and kissed my head.
" morning baby" he sang
I smiled and readjusted so I was looking at him still in his arms.
" morning , where are we going today"
"Colorado, well be there soon. It's 2"
" wow so late, how long have you been up"
" I don't know like a hour and a half "
" why didn't you leave?"
" I didn't want to wake you up"
I smiled
" thank you"
" welcome ready to get up?"
I groaned
"I'd rather cuddle" I said snuggling into his side.
He laughed and kissed my lips
"Come on get up"
He got out and looked at me
" no" I rolled over
" don't make me get you out of bed"
" you wouldn't"
" oh yes I would" he laughed .
He started tickling me then picked me up by my waist.
" no no"
" come on" he said
He brought me to the front where the Guys were watching tv. They all laughed.
" finally got her up?" Jake asked as CC sat down bringing me on his lap.
" yeah she didn't want to get up"
I got up and want to the fridge. I opened it and got a apple.
I sat next to Jinxx and ate it watching jake and CC play a video game.
" why are you always so tired?" Ashley asked
" before you guys came , I didn't sleep, at all so I guess it's catching up to me."
" wow , that makes sense " jake said
" yeah, I know it's weird."
" how long has it been happening?"
" a year "
" did your mom and dad know?" Ashley asked
" yeah. I told them everything , they knew about my self harming and said it was just an attention thing so they didn't bring me to therapy and they said me not sleeping was nothing."
" that's terrible." Andy said
" yeah, they didn't like who I was so they ignored my problems , They knew about me getting beat up too , told me if I didn't dress and listen to the music I did people wouldn't do that to me."
" what the fuck?! Who does that to their child! I had no idea Jess.." Jake said getting upset
" i don't know "I mumbled
" .. You can't go back with them. I won't let you, you'll stay with me , I don't care I won't let you go back there" jake said
" I agree" Jinxx said.
" jake I'm still 17 technically if they want me back they'll take me back"
" we'll let's hope it's not untill your 18"
" I know" I said
Jinxx rubbed my back
" don't forget we're picking up Sammi from the airport soon." He said
" I almost forgot!" Andy said
" she can't wait to meet you Jess." Jinxx said smiling.
" awsome atleast I won't be the only girl"
They laughed and continued their game .
" I'm goig to change" I got up and went to my bag
I got out black skinny jeans and a black Skelton loose shit with cuts in the back. I grabbed a purple tank top ,bracelets and my make up. I made my way to the bathroom.
I turned on the shower and stepped in letting the warm beads envelop me. I washed my hair and body quick before I stepped out. I dried of and put my cloths on .
I dried my hair and straightened it noticing the blond was fading alittle I'd have to re dye it soon. I put on a thin layer of black eyeliner and then put bracelets on each wrist. I haven't cut since I've been with them and i felt so much better. I steppe out and put my cloths away. When I turned around CC was standing there smiling.
" your so beautiful."
He kissed my lips and I smiled into the kiss.
" if you say so"
" you are , your the most beautiful girl I've ever seen . "
I smiled
" your amazing" I said and kissed him again.
The kiss deepened and his tongue entered my mouth . I put my hands around his neck and he put his on my waist.
After a few minutes we stopped when a pillow hit my head.
" ow" i yelled
" we're at the airpor to get Sammi keep your cloths on "Andy said and left
" we always get interrupted dont we?" I asked smiling at him.
" I know." He kissed me again and grabbed my hand leading me out.
" jinx is getting her then they'll come back here." Jake said
I sat next to him and CC sat next to me with his arm around me as we watched Andy and ash arm wrestle at the table. After 20 minutes the door opened and Jinxx walked on with his arm around Sammi.
" Sammi!" Andy screamed and got up to hug her. She hugged the rest of them leaving me standing their awkward.
" uh hi.. I'm Jess" I said shyly and she smiled .
" I know that! Jinxx told me about you, come here" she said pulling me Into A hug.
I laughed and hugged her back.
" great to meet you now you won't be alone with these animals" she said
" hey.." Andy wined causing us to giggle.
" they're not that bad.. " I said . She laughed and dragged me with her to set her stuff up. I had a feeling we would be great friends.
--------------
After the show me and Sammi decided to go hang out in the back lounge and talk. On the way back there she took 4 bottles of whiskey and walked back.
We sat across from eachother and she unscrewed the cap ." I dont encourage underage drinking but once I awhile won't hurt. Have u had alcohol before?" She asked.
" yeah I steel my moms alcohol all the time" I said
She smiled and handed me the bottle.
" now lets talk , I wana know about your past, I won't judge but if I know ill understand you better" she said and I took a swig . It burned down my throat but it tasted good.
I told her about my past each time I took a sip of the whiskey. By the time we were done I had a bottle down and I was started to feel funny.
After 2 hours the guys came in the back lounge to see me and her sipping off our 2nd bottles.
The guys laughed except Jinxx.
" Sammi she's 17 you can't be getting her drunk" he said taking the bottle from me.
"Oh come on Jinxxy " she said
I stood up but stumbled over feeling light headed and drunk.
" see exactly my point" he said as the guys chuckled.
CC picked me up . He went to my bunk and put me in it.
" go to sleep my little drunk ill see you in the morning" he said kissing my head.
I woke up with my head pounding. I checked my phone to see it was 1.All of the sudden my bunk curtains were ripped open the sudden light killing me.
Ashley stood there smirking
I threw my pillow at him groaning and rolled over.
" we'll aren't you in a good mood , now get up lazy well be stopping in about an hour"
"No leave me alone"
" fine have it you way"
Just then I was grabbed by my waist and thrown over his shoulder causing my headache to hurt even worse.
He laughed and walked into the living area I buried my head in his shoulder.
" looks like someone has a hangover" jake said
Ashley dropped me from his shoulder suddenly making me fall on my head again.
" Ashley !" Jinxx yelled
" fuck you, " I groaned. That hurt like hell. I just stayed on the floor .
." Jess you okay?" Jake asked
" yeah "I said groaning again
" get up then" jinx said
" never.." I curled into a ball and he chuckled.
He lifted me up and out me on the couch next to CC. He came back and headed me aspirin and water.
" thanks" I said and took it curling into CC. Sammi did the same to Jinxx when he sat back down.
I wasn't paying attention due to my terrible headache . I was drawn out of my thoughts when everyone looked at me.
" what ? Sorry couldn't hear you over the concision Ashley gave Me." I said and they laughed
" we said you should probable get dressed because well be stopping soon" Andy said I nodded and got up feeling light headed.
" fuck , Sammi never let me drink again" I said making my way to the back.
I put on white skinny jeans and a black streetlight manifesto shirt. I put eye liner on and did my hair. I put on a bvb hoodie and walked out seeing that we stopped at an rest area with an ihop.
After we finished eating we hung in the parking lot talking with the of mice and men guys and messing around.The guys started to chase eachother so I moved back against the bus watching them. I felt someone next to me and looked to see it was Phil.
" hey Phil why aren't u with the animals?" I asked causing him to laugh
" not really into running around like in a parking lot" he said chuckling as I saw Austin pick up jake.
" how about you?" He asked
" hangover." I said rubbing my head.
" woah who let you drink little miss underage? Got it bad?" He asked rubbing my shoulder.
" Sammi and me had some whiskey and it wasn't that bad until Ashley dropped me on my head" he chuckled
" alright guys lets get on the road" their tour manager said and they stopped running.
The driver got on and we followed. I went to my bunk and went on Facebook for the first time in forever. I signed in and had 57 messages all from kids at school. I scrolled through and they were all the same
Die
Slit your wrist too deep?
Miss you fag
Your so pathetic
Ugly bitch
I read them and my vision blurred. I got out and ran to the bathroom . I took one of my razors and smashed it taking the blade out. I shouldnt. its stupid. I'm stupid. i shook my head and rolled my sleeves up. The words worked in my head and I sliced. After 15 cuts on my right arm I went to my left . I sat down and looked up.
" what's wrong with me?" I whispered. I was startled when a I heard a knock.
" Jess... Are u ok?" Jinxx asked
I froze.
" yeah I'm fine I'm sorry il be out in a sec." I wiped my face and wrists. I pulled my sweatshirt on and opened the door keeping my head down.
I tried to walk past Jinxx but he pulled me back in the bathroom and locked the door.
" what are you doing?" I asked trying to go for the door.
" show me your wrists?" He asked holding his hand out. I froze how'd he know.
" Jinxx I didn't let me out." I said going for the door.
" then show me if you didn't" he said sternly. I shook my head. And tried to get past him.
He grabbed my sleeve and tugged it up gasping at the sight. He grabbed the other one and did the same.
" Jess.."
" it's nothing can I please go." I asked trying to get past. He picked me up and set me on the sink. He started to wash the cuts.
" no you can't not untill you talk to me."
" Jinxx.."
" why did you do this again you were doing so good" he said tracing over them.
" just things people said to me it's stupid"
" no it's not if it gets you, it's not stupid at all"
" just reminded me how much of a failure I was"
" your not a failure , your amazing"
He brought me into a hug and I wrapped around him. Jinxx was the closest to me besides CC and jake , he was like my father figure and I loved it.
We stayed like that for a good 10 minutes.
" lets go they'll be worried and listen, no more come to me ill listen I dot care how long I'm always here for you" he said
" and I won't tell them " he said and I smiled.
I followed him into the back lounge and cuddled with CC.
Andy put on batman despite everyone's arguments. I was starting to get used to this.
@LindseyBVBarmy
I'm glad!:)
2/20/14