Maybe there's still hope
Blinded by the pain.
They walked me back to the house the whole time I was in a daze. This couldn't be happening. My best friend is dead.
We got back in everyone jumped up.
" Jess-" jake started but obviously didn't know what to say. I shook my head and ran up the stairs. I went to my room and slammed the door. I cried. My heart sped up and and I turned to the wall. I smashed my fist in it and it broke immediately making a huge bang. I screamed . Tears blinded me.
I turned around and ran to the other side and punched the other wall this time my hand hit the beam causing a searing pain to go up my hand.I pulled back and held it.
" fuck!!"
I kicked the wall 3 times until i collapsed on the floor sobbing and gripping my hand. I heard the door shake.
" go away!" I choked out.
" Jess.." It was cc
" no" I shouted
" Jess come on " jinxx said .
" no just fucking leave me alone!" I yelled. I couldn't deal with this. My mind instantly thought of a solution.
My razor blade.
No I can't .
I screamed and banged my head backwards . The door wiggled.
" Jess. Open up ." Jake said .
I stayed silent. My hand throbbed but my heart throbbed harder. He was my best fried since birth, I loved him.
I cried harder and slammed my head again.
I heard a slam on the door. It was silent just as another one came making the door burst open.
" shit.." I heard Ashley mutter. I looked up and saw a huge hole on the right wall near the door . I looked up and saw 4 holes one where I punched the beam in sight and others where I kicked.
" shit kid .." Andy said said looking at the holes as jinxx Ashley jake and cc all walked in.
" Jess." Jinx said. I too in a breath.
" he's gone" I said and they looked at me sad.
Cc came over and leaned on his knees in front of me. He put two fingers under my chin and made me look at him. I moved away.
He grabbed me and picked me up sitting on the bed and hugging me.
" he's gone.. He's Gone" I said numbly.
" i know Jess I know" jake said siting beside me rubbing my back.
" first Emma now John, I- I can't go on anymore" I said . Andy leaned in front of me.
" yes you can, your strong and Emma an John were proud of you they wouldn't want you giving up."he said
" he loved you Jess, he told us the day he picked us up, he did that all for you" jinxx said and I cried more.
I leaned into cc and felt my eyes start to droop.
" Johnny.."was all I muttered out before I fell into darkness.
------
Cc's pov:
Shit.
We all sat on the bed Jess was sleeping my lap.
" I can't believe it" jinxx muttered. Neither could I .
" I know she's fucking crushed.." Jake said and I nodded.
I silently picked Jess up and put her against her pillows. Her eyes were red and puffy. It broke my heart.
" look at the fucking walls holy shit" Andy said looking at the hole near the door. It was deep.
" shit look at this one" Ashley said.
We all went to the one on the other side. It went in a little but was stopped by a wooden beam. The beam had a small indent.
" holy shit" jinxx said.
Jake looked at it then went to Jess. He carefully picked up her right hand and gasped.
" come here" he said and we did . Her knuckles were swollen and purple she defiantly broke them.
" she's really strong damn" Andy said chuckling a little. We gave a nervous laugh.
" I know" jake said.
" let's leave her to sleep" jake said . He put the covers on and kissed her head. We walked out and into the living room where Ella, Juliet and Sammi were.
" how is she?" Juliet asked jumping up. Her eyes were red.
" she's sleeping now" Andy said pecking her lips. We all sat down.
" she's going to be very emotional , probably really quiet so we need to be there for her. not over protect her but just keep an eye On her okay?" Jake asked and we all nodded.
" I'm going to sleep in her room to keep an eye on her" I said standing up and they all nodded. I went up the stairs and into my room. I took My shirt and pants off. I put on sport shorts and went to Jessica's room.
I laid next to her and she clung to me. I looked down to see her half awake.
" Johnny" she muttered
I stiffened and let the tears I've been holding in. I only met him once but he was an amazing kid. She lost Emma and now him. I couldn't believe it.
" go to sleep baby" I said and she relaxed a little. I stroked her hair singing savior into her ear until I myself slowly started falling asleep.
We got back in everyone jumped up.
" Jess-" jake started but obviously didn't know what to say. I shook my head and ran up the stairs. I went to my room and slammed the door. I cried. My heart sped up and and I turned to the wall. I smashed my fist in it and it broke immediately making a huge bang. I screamed . Tears blinded me.
I turned around and ran to the other side and punched the other wall this time my hand hit the beam causing a searing pain to go up my hand.I pulled back and held it.
" fuck!!"
I kicked the wall 3 times until i collapsed on the floor sobbing and gripping my hand. I heard the door shake.
" go away!" I choked out.
" Jess.." It was cc
" no" I shouted
" Jess come on " jinxx said .
" no just fucking leave me alone!" I yelled. I couldn't deal with this. My mind instantly thought of a solution.
My razor blade.
No I can't .
I screamed and banged my head backwards . The door wiggled.
" Jess. Open up ." Jake said .
I stayed silent. My hand throbbed but my heart throbbed harder. He was my best fried since birth, I loved him.
I cried harder and slammed my head again.
I heard a slam on the door. It was silent just as another one came making the door burst open.
" shit.." I heard Ashley mutter. I looked up and saw a huge hole on the right wall near the door . I looked up and saw 4 holes one where I punched the beam in sight and others where I kicked.
" shit kid .." Andy said said looking at the holes as jinxx Ashley jake and cc all walked in.
" Jess." Jinx said. I too in a breath.
" he's gone" I said and they looked at me sad.
Cc came over and leaned on his knees in front of me. He put two fingers under my chin and made me look at him. I moved away.
He grabbed me and picked me up sitting on the bed and hugging me.
" he's gone.. He's Gone" I said numbly.
" i know Jess I know" jake said siting beside me rubbing my back.
" first Emma now John, I- I can't go on anymore" I said . Andy leaned in front of me.
" yes you can, your strong and Emma an John were proud of you they wouldn't want you giving up."he said
" he loved you Jess, he told us the day he picked us up, he did that all for you" jinxx said and I cried more.
I leaned into cc and felt my eyes start to droop.
" Johnny.."was all I muttered out before I fell into darkness.
------
Cc's pov:
Shit.
We all sat on the bed Jess was sleeping my lap.
" I can't believe it" jinxx muttered. Neither could I .
" I know she's fucking crushed.." Jake said and I nodded.
I silently picked Jess up and put her against her pillows. Her eyes were red and puffy. It broke my heart.
" look at the fucking walls holy shit" Andy said looking at the hole near the door. It was deep.
" shit look at this one" Ashley said.
We all went to the one on the other side. It went in a little but was stopped by a wooden beam. The beam had a small indent.
" holy shit" jinxx said.
Jake looked at it then went to Jess. He carefully picked up her right hand and gasped.
" come here" he said and we did . Her knuckles were swollen and purple she defiantly broke them.
" she's really strong damn" Andy said chuckling a little. We gave a nervous laugh.
" I know" jake said.
" let's leave her to sleep" jake said . He put the covers on and kissed her head. We walked out and into the living room where Ella, Juliet and Sammi were.
" how is she?" Juliet asked jumping up. Her eyes were red.
" she's sleeping now" Andy said pecking her lips. We all sat down.
" she's going to be very emotional , probably really quiet so we need to be there for her. not over protect her but just keep an eye On her okay?" Jake asked and we all nodded.
" I'm going to sleep in her room to keep an eye on her" I said standing up and they all nodded. I went up the stairs and into my room. I took My shirt and pants off. I put on sport shorts and went to Jessica's room.
I laid next to her and she clung to me. I looked down to see her half awake.
" Johnny" she muttered
I stiffened and let the tears I've been holding in. I only met him once but he was an amazing kid. She lost Emma and now him. I couldn't believe it.
" go to sleep baby" I said and she relaxed a little. I stroked her hair singing savior into her ear until I myself slowly started falling asleep.
@LindseyBVBarmy
I'm glad!:)
2/20/14