It's been a month since My phones been shut off and it was in fact my birthday. Not even that could make me happy. I just wanted my brothers or at least talk to them. I was slowly losing my sanity.I've texted them a few times on johns phone but not much.

I rolled over and looked at the clock. It read 6:30. I groaned and pulled myself up. I went to my closet and put on a black veil brides shirt with black skinny jeans. I brushed my hair and did my eye liner. I put on my converse and looked at the mirror. Disgusted. I hated who I was I hated my life.

I've been self harming every day and I felt like crap.I grabbed my bag and went down the stairs where my mom greeted me.

" happy birthday sweety!!" She shouted and hugged me. I smiled weakly. My dad hugged me.

" happy birthday baby girl" I tensed. Cc called me baby girl.

" thanks " I said smiling. They handed me a card with 200$ in it. I smiled.

" I love you" I said hugging them. They hugged me back.

" we have something to tell you.." My mom said. Here it goes. I knew they were too happy.

" we're going away for a week to your grandparents without you" my mom said

" when?"

" now, but since your 18 you can take care of yourself right baby?" My mom asked kissing my head. I sighed. Of course.

" yeah of course go have fun" I said and they smiled and headed to the door." Love you" they called shutting the door.

" it's not like I wanted company on my birthday anyway" I said sighing and walking out the door. My parents left. Johnny was apparently busy tonight and the guys , I haven't talked to them.

I shook my head and walked to school letting tears fall.

Happy fucking birthday to me.

Notes

Just a quick update sorry it'll get better soon.