To Be a Friend

That night Andy and I made out for hours. We kept our clothes on the whole time, but I could tell by the bulge in his pants that he wanted more. I'm not gonna lie, I wanted more. I wanted him to fuck me so hard that I'd scream from pleasure. I wanted him to touch me in ways that I haven't been touched in months. I wanted him, but I didn't get all of him. By the time we stopped macking on each other, it was about 8:30. Andy went and made pb+js for us and got a small bowl of potato chips. I slept over at his house again, but I knew that I'd have to return home soon.

Right now it's 6am and Andy's up and running. He took a shower and is now wearing his Misfits muscle tank, a pair of black skinnies, and his black vans. I slowly rise from his king size bed and hug him from behind.

"Since when are you up so early?" I ask, my voice is dry but soft.

He turns around and smiles, "Well I thought I'd be a gentleman and take you to school this morning, seeing I didn't get the chance to yesterday." He says and I can smell the scent of coffee on his breath.

"What time did you even wake up at?" I ask.

"Too early, now go take a shower and get dressed, I'm taking us out to breakfast this morning." I kiss him firmly on the lips and do as I'm told.

When I return to the basement it's 7:15 and I'm wearing my Ramones Tshirt, my red skinnies, my Harley Quinn converse, and Jack's hoodie he left at my house a month ago.

"Hey you're not wearing makeup for once." He points out.

"Do I look that bad?" I ask, insecurity filling my voice.

"You look beautiful, now let's go grab some breakfast."

He takes me to McDonald's and buys me a coffee and a muffin. I tell him that I'm gonna save my muffin for later but end up throwing it out. Don't wanna start adding pounds, Andy wouldn't wanna date a fat girl, he dates people like Juliet, pure beauty on a canvas. Andy buys himself a breakfast sandwich and drives up to school.

By the time we get to the building, we have 30 minutes till classes begin. Andy follows me down the hall to my locker and watches as I load and unload books.

"So... What are you doing at lunch?" He asks. In all seriousness, I'm not sure. I could spent lunch with him, which will probably result in us making out in his car. Or I could spend it how I usually do. Sit in the cafeteria with my friends. Hear Alex go on about his girlfriend problems. Listen to Vic and Jaime talk about their band that includes Mike and Tony. Jack's obsession with burritos. Listen on how Rian and Zack spent their weekend. And talk to my best friends, Hayley and Kellin, the couples goals. The choice is in my hands.

"Why don't you join me and my friends at lunch?" I ask, that was probably stupid of me. Kellin, Vic, Mike, and Jack hate how Andy and his friends have treated us for the last four years. But I think it's time to build bridges.

"I thought most of your friends hated me." They do, but I'm not gonna tell you that.

"My friends don't hate anyone. Meet me at my locker at lunch and we'll eat in the cafeteria together." I kiss him and start walking to the library.

The reason why I go to the library in the morning is because when Kellin's actually on time, he meets me there every morning. It's become a ritual since Hayley left. He drinks his morning brew and I pick a random book from the shelf to read. And luckily, Kellin's on time today.

"Good morning dear, would you like some coffee?" Kellin asks in a low voice, typical.

"Sorry dear but caffeine is horrible for the system, what would you think if the kids found out you were drinking it?" I ask in a high pitch voice.

"I'm not sure dear." We both laugh and I take a seat next to Kellin after grabbing a random book from the shelf. "So what's today's new book?"

"Love & Other Theories by Alexis Bass."

"Sounds boring."

"It just might be, but I grabbed it so now I have to read it."

"So... I hung out with Hayley last night."

I drop the book, "Tell me everything!"

"She wants to get back together, but I don't know."

"What's holding you back Kellin? I remember a time you'd say you were in love with the girl!"

"Keep your voice down dude. Look Hayley and I will always have this bond, but... I have my eyes on someone else."

"Who? Tell me!" I demand, he chuckles.

"You'll see soon enough. Got any plans tomorrow night?" He asks.

"Not at the moment."

"Meet me at The Bronzer, Vic and the guys are playing."

"Okay I will."

"Okay I promised Alex I'd meet up with him before school, so see you at lunch I guess." I nod and watch as he leaves the library. I wonder who Kellibear has a crush on. I put in my earbuds and begin reading the book.

This book is actually really good, I could use this as like a guideline for the rest of my semester here. I go to the girl's washroom before class and look in the mirror. I can be like Aubrey, the main character. I can be pretty and grab hold of Andy's attention perfectly. I turn around and run into Juliet.

"Watch out slut!" She says and this is the time to strike.

"Jules you might wanna go to your doctor, the prescription your using isn't hiding the whoreness from your face." Okay I know that's not what Aubrey would do, but it's what she would let her best friend say so why not. I walk out of the washroom before Juliet can say anything else and walk straight to my English class.

I missed yesterday's class, the first actual day, so my teacher gives me shit. Mr Green tells me I should be focused because I'm going to Stanford in the fall. He's right, but I know I'm gonna ace his class so it doesn't even matter.

I haven't told anyone I'm going to Stanford, not even Kellin. Reason being that part of me wants to keep it a secret. I know that one day all my friends will become famous musicians and will live successful lives. They doubt themselves constantly but I know they're gonna make it far. I however, I don't know what exactly I'm gonna do in life and will discover myself at Stanford. I was given a scholarship and I don't even know how that happened. I just know that I have to do something important with my life, I just don't know what yet.

I remember growing up and Hayley saying I should become a writer. My writing was sloppy back then, yet she enjoyed it like she bought it from a library. Kellin said I should become a professor, I then looked at him like "What the fuck?". He then further explained that I'm a great tutor, I'd tutor him on the weekends, and that when I teach it's easier to understand. Jack thinks I should be a singer, he's seen me pick up a guitar and sing things like Oh Darling and then applauded quite loudly. I don't know what I should do.

I run into drama, the other class I missed, and it seems like I didn't miss much. This is one of those easy classes no one cares about, which is a relief for me. Kellin sits next to me and plays with my hair.

"Bro what are you doing?" I ask turning to face him. He shrugs and chuckles to himself.

"I don't know, goofing off I guess. Hey what'd we do yesterday in this class, I didn't make it till lunch."

"I don't know, I was in the library for the first two periods."

Mr Seaman, yes that is his name, walks into class. He sits on his desk with a half eaten slice of pizza in his hands and swallows the pizza in his mouth.

"Alrighty class, it's gonna be the same as yesterday. Get into groups, come up with a short skit, and then preform afterwards for your class mates. I'll be back in twenty minutes, I need to grab the attendance and talk with Mr Radke." And with that, Seaman is gone.

I stand up from my seat and look around the room. Juliet is in this class, just my luck. There's also Andy's friend, Christian who goes by CC. Then there's Alex, Jaime, Tony, and Rian. And a lot of people I don't know and don't bother to get to know. I do wanna go talk to CC though, he's Andy's friend, and I wanna get to know Andy better. I walk up to him.

"Hi." I say in a soft yet subtle voice.

"Hey, aren't you Lex? The girl Andy raves about." He asks and I smile to myself.

"My name's Alexis, Andy raves about me?" I ask crossing my arms.

"Yeah, take a seat." I do as I'm told an sit right next to him on the edge of the stage. "Andy has always talked about you, but more and more lately."

"He used to talk about me when he was with Juliet?" I ask.

"Yeah. Ash, Jinxx, Jake, Andy, Jules, Ella, and me would all hangout together. When the girls left after finishing the convo on how much they hated you, well how much Jules hated you, Andy would rant about how he hated Juliet for saying those awful things. He'd tell us about how beautiful you are, and how free spirited you seemed, and that one day he'd dump Juliet and go for you until you'd say yes."

"But he didn't even know me."

"So he asked around about you. He'd ask your friend Jack about you, he'd skip class just to watch you smiling in your class, he'd stay long after school just to watch you leave. He was obsessed."

"Wow."

"Did you actually believe me?" What?

"Huh?" I ask, I'm a little confused.

"I was acting, he never did all that stuff." He chuckles so I fake a smile. "But he did defend you when anyone would say anything bad about you."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Andy might not look like it, but he's a big, leather wearing teddy bear. He's not gonna let anyone be bad talked, especially you."

"Then why be with Jules for so long if she bad talked me on a regular basis?" I ask.

"Did you ever just stare at them when they looked at each other?" I shake my head. "When they looked at each other, it was like everything froze around them, like in the movies. They lost their virginity to each other, they were there for each other when they didn't want to live anymore. They have this bond that no one can completely describe."

"Then why'd he break up with her? Sounds like they were great together." I ask, it feels like I'm gonna start crying any second.

"Because he talked to you, he looked in your eyes and liked what he saw. You're a special thing Miss Granger."

"I gotta go see him." I have to go love him and cherish him right now, if what CC's telling me is true.

"Go get him, he's probably in the library, I'll cover for you."

"Thank you." I give CC a big hug before running out the door.

I enter the library and find Andy at one of the computers at the back. I sit next to him and lay my hand on his. He looks at me and smiles.

"What are you doing here?" He whispers, "aren't you supposed to be in class?"

"I had to come see you and whisk you away from this crappy library." I say.

"You want me to skip?" He asks, like a hesitation.

I rise from the seat "If you don't follow me now, you'll regret it." And that's all it took.

Notes

I'm back bitches!!! (You're not bitches, you're really lovely people, sorry I'm just really giddy right now). My life's back on track and I'm ready to go back to writing again.
and for now...

Night night