The story of a lonesome ol'Jerome

Andy made a face and groaned. Ah, fuck, I knew it! Something hadn’t gone well. Shit. “That well? Great! Well, I got Dr. Cameron to cover for me for 2 weeks, and my boss just gave the ok. Though he was hoping you’d sign something for his daughter, she’s a big fan.” Andy just looked at me.

“What? I’m sorry, you don’t have to, if you really don’t want to, ok?” Uh- not expected, I had thought he was all about fans… Dudes are so weird and melodramatic sometimes. Or is it just humanity in general?

“No, it’s not that.” He looked embarrassed. “I just don’t want you to be pissed with me, for, um, letting you blow me before giving you bad news.” My heart fucking sunk. I really hadn’t thought me coming with on tour was going to be that much of an issue… I must be really transparent, because Andy hugged me and said, “No, no, no, nothing like that! You’re totally fine! No, the bad news I meant is that Jon told me someone figured out your full name and where you work, and they’ve spread it all over the internet. I’m really sorry. I haven’t looked yet, but he said that some, uhrm, misguided fans have totally flooded your clinic’s Facebook page.”

“Oh fuck...” I grimaced. Jeanine would be so pissed. Dr. Gray might laugh or be pissed. Ok, probably laugh and not give a fuck.

Andy still looked a little wary. “I’m really sorry, Gwyn.” I couldn’t help but notice he was now reflexively protecting his exposed junk with both hands, which made me snort with laughter, I couldn’t help it!

“Andy, it’s ok. People who wanted to know that badly were bound to find out eventually. It’s probably good for me to be out of the office for the next 2 weeks then.” He was still looking at me with trepidation. I sighed- there must be more. “What else did Jon say?”

“He wants to know your medical issues and stuff. Please don’t be mad at me.” I couldn’t believe Andy was worried about that!

“Don’t be silly, here’s the list on my phone. It’s got my medical issues, the medications I take, my allergies and shit. I think that’s smart. It’s also got my emergency contact information if he wants it. Ok? Just give my phone back when you’re done, so I can call Jennifer?” I smiled brightly, and gave him a quick peck, in case a deeper kiss would gross him out, given that I had just sucked him off.

But he gave me a silly, exaggerated, sulky look, muttering, “That’s hardly a kiss,” then raised his eyebrows at me and broke into a little grin. It made my smile widen, noticing how his left eyebrow always went higher than his right. It seemed, like, physically impossible that he didn't do some kind of maintenance on them, but fuck if I was going to call him a liar when I had just met him. I ran my fingers through his hair and kissed him slowly, softly, and intimately. He groaned. “Mmmmm. You’re a good kisser. Who’s Jennifer?”

“She’s my buxom, younger girlfriend that cleans my apartment in exchange for spankings, she’s a huge fan of yours, hot-shot.” I couldn’t say it with a straight face and ruined it by laughing about two-thirds of the way through. Andy made with the eyebrows and laughed softly.

“Nah, she lives diagonal to me, downstairs, and she pet-sits for me. I need to take Sherpa to work for boarding after taking you to the hospital, but someone needs to come here to look after my cresties. She’s cool, though we just kind of met when I had a really heavy package a few months ago. We both like nerdy stuff.”

“Cresties?” Andy must not be a huge reptile hobbyist. Not terribly surprising, most people aren’t. I knew he had his tuxedo kitties, Crow and Femme, with Juliet, I didn’t know if he had any other pets, or had in the past…

“Yeah, crested geckos. I, um, have 19 actually.” I waited for it. People tended to have a very polarized reaction.

His eyes got big, he was excited. “Dude, that’s so cool! Where are they, I didn’t see any tanks?”

I tried to control my nerdism. I didn’t need to completely freak Andy out by talking reptiles for 20 minutes. This would be a struggle. “I, um, got my first one when I was in college. I used to breed them, I even have an old website I can show you sometime, but I kept all my grandbabies.” We both laughed. “They're sort of in tanks, but they need screen tops for ventilation. They’re in the only room you haven’t seen, and I can show you after I call Jennifer. And after you put your dick in your pants.” I chuckled. “Unless you feel it needs air,” I gave him an exaggerated skeevy eye, “or more attention?”

Ha! I made him blush! As he arranged his genitals, I made it worse with the comment, “seriously, with the pants you wear, thank goodness they’re stretchy!” He rolled his eyes. Whatever- front poop, indeed!

“I’m going to go have a smoke while you call Jennifer. I can get the list from your phone later, ok? Then can I see your geckos?” He looked both like he was excited and like he wanted a cigarette.

“Hmm… Nope! I want a cigarette too.” I ignored his sour look and went out to the balcony, a very tall man in very tight pants right behind me.

Notes

i apologize for not updating frequently lately. i’m in the midst of quitting smoking after a relapse, which is really awful. i was originally a smoker for 16 years, and then quit for 3 years (more or less). i've only been smoking for 2 weeks, but i have to say that right now i’m in a very profoundly acute agony that is hard to characterize as physical, mental, or emotional. perhaps all three. addiction is very shitty. i have a friend who was addicted to crack and heroin, actually at the same time. she managed to kick those, but has been unable to quit smoking.

so, my advice to you, if you are a young person reading this, is to not start smoking. take it or not. it might kill you, or it might just adversely affect your health. it may do nothing. but the odds of being benign are not in your favor. i know i started, originally, when i was 14. i started because i was para-suicidal at the time, and wanted a way to slowly die, which is not really, i think, the reason most kids start. well, mission accomplished. thank you so much, 14 year old me. fuck you. i now have the lung capacity of an 18 year old cat. and, yeah, Andy may look cool when he’s smoking, but he looks cool when he’s doing anything. just ignore it, he’s not endorsing/promoting it. and marbs are foul. trust me, marbs will not bring the awesomeness of Andy. dedication to what you love might bring some of it.


QOTD: are you a tobacco user?

in the sense that an alcoholic is that way for life, yes. i last picked up some butts off the street yesterday. i had excellent company in the form of texts from a foreign land (in-joke) as i walked for miles looking for them. i haven’t smoked a reasonable, full cigarette in several days. i haven’t bought a pack, which is the marker of success for me. it is making me incredibly irritable and hard to be around. like i was practically cursing out my mother on the phone for congratulating me on graduating and shit. like i just want to rip the face off of anyone and show it to them before they pass out from blood loss. [no, i don’t want to wear it- now that would be creepy! <3 tcm ;) ]


On a serious note- i’d be remiss not sharing this. i know Chris Holley meant a great deal to BVB as well as many, many others: http://www.gofundme.com/chrisholley