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Homepage › Stories › The story of a lonesome ol'Jerome › Chapter 7

The story of a lonesome ol'Jerome

You ok?

*Gwyn's POV* (edited)

My vision was blurry and I was briefly concerned I was being arrested, which kind of burst the fugue, and I looked around a little. My adrenaline was still pounding though, so I could hardly see, couldn't focus, people everywhere.

Some tall, worried guy grabbed my hand and said, “Look, it’s ok, just follow me for a minute, I think you need to chill out for a while.” I just did as he said and tried to concentrate on his feet, following them as we walked. I heard talking, “I know… Right… Yeah… Ok, I’ll make sure she’s ok… I’ll ask in a minute… Probably later… Ok, bye.”

My vision was clearing up and I blinked. Wait a second. Low voice. I looked at the hand holding mine. 'Dragonfly.' Uh. I involuntarily stopped walking.

And fucking Andy Biersack turned around and said, “You ok?”

Notes

Comments

*NOTE* The author of this story no longer has access to her account due to site malfunction.
SmuttyPariah SmuttyPariah
4/15/17

Ok, cool. I don't mind plodding plots at all, but as a frustrated English teacher, I can totally understand the grammar and structure stuff.

Merelan Merelan
1/26/17

@Merelan


oh, i'm not changing it significantly in that regard. i mean more a stylistic change to make it easier to read: breaking up paragraphs, improving grammar and tense consistency, stuff like that. i've become a much better writer and i want my stuff to reflect that. if you're nervous about the changed, you can check out the newest version on my wattpad account. my user name is anathemadvm, just plain anathema was taken. i'm still likely to further revise the very beginning a little, but nothing is plot related, i like the plot as much as i ever did. i just want it to be easier to read, that's all.

anathema anathema
1/26/17

@anathema
Actually, the beginning of LoJ fits the story perfectly, IMHO. You establish Gywn as a likeable, but clearly flawed character from the door. It's much different from most other fanfic, which want to get to the Bride(s) ASAP.

Merelan Merelan
1/26/17

@Merelan


oh my goodness! i don't think even i have read it that many times, though i could be wrong! i've certainly only read it through once in one sitting! i promise that the edited version is higher quality, but i don't dare tinker with it here until i have the whole thing ready to go. right now i've edited through chapter 50, though i might need to ahve another look at the very beginning, because it's so plodding.

anathema anathema
1/26/17
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