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Homepage › Stories › The story of a lonesome ol'Jerome › Chapter 50

The story of a lonesome ol'Jerome

Lydia

*16 year old Gwyn's POV*

I sat on the bed, quiet. I had never felt anything like this, and earlier, I had made pathetic attempts at begging and pleading with Lydia because I didn't understand what had gone wrong. Nothing made sense.

I had never even held anyone's hand before being with Lydia. I was crazy about her. She was intoxicating- she had perfect breasts, and an amazing smell you could follow down the hallway. She was also intelligent, and she liked a lot of the same music I liked too. But she started hanging out with a older guy who worked at the mall. I told her I trusted her, even after she said he tried to kiss her. But here I was, 3 months into my first relationship, and Lydia had just finished dumping me.

I was in agony. We had kept our relationship secret from all but a few friends, and so no one understood why I lost my mind when Lydia got engaged to the older guy 11 days after dumping me. The girl I still loved. I did my best to try and be her friend, I even loaned her my camera for her marriage by the judge only a few months after that. I tried to bolt my heart up. I went to counseling, I saw a psychiatrist. I gradually regained a tenuous hold on reality.

Notes

Comments

*NOTE* The author of this story no longer has access to her account due to site malfunction.
SmuttyPariah SmuttyPariah
4/15/17

Ok, cool. I don't mind plodding plots at all, but as a frustrated English teacher, I can totally understand the grammar and structure stuff.

Merelan Merelan
1/26/17

@Merelan


oh, i'm not changing it significantly in that regard. i mean more a stylistic change to make it easier to read: breaking up paragraphs, improving grammar and tense consistency, stuff like that. i've become a much better writer and i want my stuff to reflect that. if you're nervous about the changed, you can check out the newest version on my wattpad account. my user name is anathemadvm, just plain anathema was taken. i'm still likely to further revise the very beginning a little, but nothing is plot related, i like the plot as much as i ever did. i just want it to be easier to read, that's all.

anathema anathema
1/26/17

@anathema
Actually, the beginning of LoJ fits the story perfectly, IMHO. You establish Gywn as a likeable, but clearly flawed character from the door. It's much different from most other fanfic, which want to get to the Bride(s) ASAP.

Merelan Merelan
1/26/17

@Merelan


oh my goodness! i don't think even i have read it that many times, though i could be wrong! i've certainly only read it through once in one sitting! i promise that the edited version is higher quality, but i don't dare tinker with it here until i have the whole thing ready to go. right now i've edited through chapter 50, though i might need to ahve another look at the very beginning, because it's so plodding.

anathema anathema
1/26/17
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