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Homepage › Stories › The story of a lonesome ol'Jerome › Chapter 34

The story of a lonesome ol'Jerome

Tumblr

I sit on my balcony, smoking cigarettes, feeling sick, looking at pictures of Andy on Tumblr. I didn't have any of my own. I was getting a little unsure that any of it had actually happened. It occurs to me that I never did get my silly piece of paper autographed.

I just keep looking: this one recent, this one vintage Andy Six, this one what the kids called 'fetus Andy' which I guess meant in high school?

My phone died in my hand. Fuck! Whatever... I went to take a piss and wash my face while my phone charged. While washing my hands, I saw I had a few bruises pretty low on my neckline. I remembered him biting, careful not to suck, so that bruising would be minimal for work, but I would still writhe in pain. That led to other thoughts, and I felt a surge of pressure and want in between my legs that made me reach for the bathroom sink countertop for balance. Fuck.

I glanced at my reflection, and saw what I always saw. But this time I was angry- my self-hatred had cost me today. Fuck Andy's public persona, the person I met was nice, and a cool guy, into me, and there seemed to be something really special about him, maybe it was in the things he chose not to say? Yet, I had driven him away with a hot poker. I fumed, staring at myself, then had a rapid set of tics, but they didn't release the tension, the discomfort was still there, "Fuckfuckfuck!" I shouted, but still no good, so I just smashed both fists into my mirror as hard as I could. "Grahhhh!l" My right hand was really painful right away, but my left didn't hurt. I shook my head and looked at the mirror. It had some cracks but was hardly the smashed ruin an actual cathartic release would demand.

I sighed, deflated. I am the very definition of loser. While this is not news, I don't expect to ever be thrilled about it. I put on my Manson shirt and gym short from high school and crawl into bed. I guiltily turn my phone back on while still charging. I'll just look a little while longer.

I go to my Tumblr app and click my saved search, 'Andy Biersack.' I have seen the first two. And the third one is of me.


Notes

Comments

*NOTE* The author of this story no longer has access to her account due to site malfunction.
SmuttyPariah SmuttyPariah
4/15/17

Ok, cool. I don't mind plodding plots at all, but as a frustrated English teacher, I can totally understand the grammar and structure stuff.

Merelan Merelan
1/26/17

@Merelan


oh, i'm not changing it significantly in that regard. i mean more a stylistic change to make it easier to read: breaking up paragraphs, improving grammar and tense consistency, stuff like that. i've become a much better writer and i want my stuff to reflect that. if you're nervous about the changed, you can check out the newest version on my wattpad account. my user name is anathemadvm, just plain anathema was taken. i'm still likely to further revise the very beginning a little, but nothing is plot related, i like the plot as much as i ever did. i just want it to be easier to read, that's all.

anathema anathema
1/26/17

@anathema
Actually, the beginning of LoJ fits the story perfectly, IMHO. You establish Gywn as a likeable, but clearly flawed character from the door. It's much different from most other fanfic, which want to get to the Bride(s) ASAP.

Merelan Merelan
1/26/17

@Merelan


oh my goodness! i don't think even i have read it that many times, though i could be wrong! i've certainly only read it through once in one sitting! i promise that the edited version is higher quality, but i don't dare tinker with it here until i have the whole thing ready to go. right now i've edited through chapter 50, though i might need to ahve another look at the very beginning, because it's so plodding.

anathema anathema
1/26/17
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