The story of a lonesome ol'Jerome
The Sea-Tac Airport
I checked my phone again, starting to get that combination of irritated and nervous. Nervitated. I had called the cab company thirty minutes ago! Should I call the company again, call another company, or just chill out for a little while longer? Did I need to text Andy again?
I frowned. In five minutes, I would call the stupid company again. If that didn't yield results within ten minutes, a second company would be called. Until then, I would maintain a veneer of calm composure. Unflappable cool. Indeed.
I glanced at Jinxx, who looked somber. Clearly, he was scared for his balls, and didn't appreciate me having selected him as part of the initial, sacrificial group. CC was more amenable, and had a set of ear buds in, attached to his phone, watching something.
If I actually thought this woman was going to punch any of the guys in the nut sack, I would have found some way to talk Andy down. But from talking to Andy, seeing that weird, ball-punching video, the info he had sent, and his tweets, it was obvious she was a totally besotted, major fan.
What the fuck Andy was doing with one of those, I wasn't sure. He really hadn't struck me as the type to do anything more than get his dick wet with fans. Andy was too young for a mid-life crisis, and while he'd always preferred older women, this chick was way older.
Besides, though I'd never say anything, and I desperately hoped every single motherfucker within earshot of Andy had the common sense to do the same, Gwyn did not have the body of a trophy girlfriend either.
So, in essence, I was left dealing with a frontman who had decided to randomly bone an overweight, very dedicated, mildly violent fan. He'd then disappeared chasing after her, and even talked her into coming with him on the tour. Because he was prince Andy Biersack and he knew he could. Meanwhile, he had dropped the social media bomb that he was not monogamous like it was no big deal. Ha! At least that wasn't my problem, not directly.
I was getting my phone out again to check the time when I saw a cab pull up. Good, a van, per request. Jinxx groaned softly, and I slapped him on the back. "We're all in this together, dude."
Gwyn tucked her parking ticket away in her wallet after pulling into a spot on the sixth floor of the General Parking, which turned out to be the same as economy parking at that airport, which I thought was odd. She looked really nervous, so I decided to distract her.
Without asking, as soon as she had her seat belt off, I grabbed her by the waist and hauled her over the armrest into my lap, making her scream and flail at me like I was trying to kill her. Excellent, mission accomplished!
I laughed, panting a little from exertion; she had been struggling really hard! “Hold still! I want to make out before they get here! Hurry Doc!”
Gwyn made a face at me like I’d suggested lighting the car on fire. “That’s insane! They’ll see-“
“-I don’t care, let them see, I want kisses!” I pulled Gwyn’s hair out of its tight bun and curled my fingers through her hair. “I’m suffering!” I gave her my best heated look, and I felt her relax and start to give in a little, only feeding my resolve. I liked getting what I want.
I went for it. I kissed the incredibly soft little dip above where her neck met her collarbone, and gave it a little nip. I heard Gwyn start to breathe a little heavier in my ear, and kissed further up along her neck. “I just want kisses from my woman, won’t you kiss me before they get here?”
I looked up at Gwyn, only to find a wry smile. She raised her eyebrows at me. “You talked me into it.”
I kissed her, keeping it intense and forceful but slow in pace. I tightened my grip on Gwyn’s dark locks as she grabbed hold of my back. Kissing shouldn’t feel so good, shouldn’t make my mind go nuts like that.
I moved to pressing Gwyn against the passenger side door so I could get a better angle to kiss her neck from. She surprised me when she took my hand and wrapped it around her throat.
So fucked up, you’re not supposed to like doing it, you’re not supposed to like watching it. Forbidden. I felt myself stiffen to such an extreme it was painful where I sat and I had to adjust with my other hand.
I carefully squeezed Gwyn’s windpipe and kissed her lips, more slack without oxygen and with my hand holding her head still. I stopped kissing her and watched her lips as they turned lavender, then released my grip and listened to her breathing harshly.
She bit her lip and smiled, then pulled me to her for a sloppy, passionate kiss. What really stunned me was when she tugged at my hand insistently and, again, brought it to her lovely, soft, white neck.
I grinned. “Jesus, Gwyn!” I was a lucky man.
I had gotten the text earlier that they were parked on the sixth floor, and poor Jinxx had found them first, apparently making out heavily. He had tried calling, but Andy didn't answer, and Jinxx didn’t have the cajones to knock on the car door. Of course, it fell to yours truly. Of course. I wasn’t going to pay the cab to wait for them to get it on. I didn’t need to deal with Andy getting arrested for indecent exposure at an airport.
I took a deep breath, and approached the black Prius. Trying to think positively, I knocked, in a calm and collected fashion on the passenger side door. That was, until I saw Andy choking the poor girl!
Immediately, instinct kicked in, and I flung open the door, only too late realizing what would happen. I just had time to hurl myself to the ground and catch them both as they fell out of the door frame and onto my chest and stomach.
Fuck! They were heavy! “Gah!” I said, by way, both, of greeting, and inquisition as to why Andy was choking out his guest. It wasn’t really like him.
The woman rolled awkwardly away, looking horrified, then pointed at me, and said, “Jon! Jon Syverson!” I nodded, not sure what she meant, but hoping that would help in some way. I noticed, in the back of my mind, that she had pronounced my last name correctly, and was pleased. Then, perhaps predictably, shit hit the fan. Ugh.
“No, Jon!” I felt an impact to the side of my head, and assumed that Andy must have punched me. Who the fuck knew why, he got really weird about women sometimes, and I’d have to sort it out later. In the meantime, I needed to either escape him or subdue him. Where the fuck were CC and Jinxx? I needed to make sure no one got arrested, here! Why did this shit always happen to me?
I dusted myself off, still totally confused. I turned around, and literally bumped so hard into a tall, skinny man he fell over. I went to give him a hand up, and, like being shot in the motherfucking brain, realized who it was! I had knocked Christian Coma on his tiny, skinny, little ass!
I couldn’t say anything, I couldn’t even apologize, I just held my hand out, mortified. Double bass drum, master of the skins... On his bum... Because I knocked him over.
However star-shocked I might have been, I wasn’t a total douche, so I still gave him a good, firm grip on the way up. I was still struggling for an apology, and trying not to cry or be fucking weird, when I heard Andy yell, “No, Jon!” Eh?
What the fuck?!? I saw Andy and Jon apparently having some kind of testosterone-y man-fight. What the fuck was this? CC looked at me and I shrugged.
I needed to set a precedent. I was having no machismo bullshit, I had a feeling this had something to do with me. Andy and Black Veil had a concert this evening. I would be damned if I would be a source of discord.
I was thinking nothing but sexy-time thoughts, I was so turned-on. Surely the no car-sex rule could be broken just this once, surely that had been Gwyn’s intention? It seemed like the morning was decades ago, I felt like my balls were heavy with the huge load I had just for her, at the very least I hoped she’d let me cover her pretty face and titties with-
-we were falling?!
Jon?! Was he jealous after he saw what a sexy little slut Gwyn was for me? She was mine! He couldn’t have her; I would show him! “No, Jon!”
I clocked Jon across the face. It had been easy; he hadn’t expected it. He scrambled around, looking for something. Failing to find whatever he wanted, he turned to me. “Calm do-“
I swung at him again, just angry at being interrupted with Gwyn, and suspicious that Jon wanted my woman. I had wanted to blow my load, dammit! Jon shook his head, scowled, and surprised me by charging me and knocking me over! “Guph!” Scrappy fucker! We kind of wrestled for a bit, until the unspeakable happened.
When two men engage in a fight, a fair, manly, kind of fight, there is a unspoken, agreed-upon rule: you simply do not hit each others' genitalia. Be it because of the future reproductive value, that your sex hormones are made there, or the ungodly pain, the fact is simple- all true men obey this rule.
So when I felt a hand firmly grasping my dick and twisting, I was absolutely horrified. Jon was not only a total pervert and was touching my junk, he was transgressing the very laws of manly-man fighting. But as Jon crawled away from under me, my horror only grew: it was Gwyn! She had me by my penis! Why?!?
“Andy, if you even move, I will tear your fucking dick off.” I did as she said and froze. I didn’t think she could tear it off through my pants, but I didn’t want to find out. Her grip was awfully firm.
I whispered, wanting to keep this moment of abject humiliation as private as possible. “Doc, what are you doing?”
She sniffed. “We will discuss this further, later. But I want to make it absolutely clear that no one shall come to fisticuffs, as it were, because of me. I refuse to be a source of discord. You have no need to be insecure. Are we clear, Hot-shot?”
In that moment, I fully realized how strong-willed Gwyn was, despite her own insecurities. Just what an incredible, yet incredibly weird person. Who the fuck else would grab me by the dick?
I felt something crazy, something warm. Even though my penis was really uncomfortable. That had to mean something, something important. “I, uh, I think I, I mean, I think I-“
I felt the grip on my dick tighten a little. “-I said, are we clear?”
I chuckled. Better not to jump the gun anyway, I guess. “Absolutely. And, um, I’m so glad you’re coming, Gwyn. Really.”
I felt Gwyn release my cock and I stood up, adjusting it a little. Strangely, my heart felt so light and fuzzy and crap, the embarrassment really paled in comparison. Jon was apparently appeased by my dick having been held in a vice, as he just gave me a mildly irritated look before motioning both of us over.
I noticed CC and Jinxx were standing oddly close to one another, and that both of them had their hands nonchalantly placed over their junk. I hoped desperately that Gwyn wouldn’t notice, I knew it was unlikely.
I glanced over at her, and the sight actually warmed my heart even further. Her greenish-yellow-gray eyes were big, and she was holding her hands tightly together. She was smiling a huge smile, and looking at the ground, her face turning pink.
I decided to go for it. I knew she knew their names, but I figured a formal introduction was best, since they didn’t know her. “Gwyn, these are Jon, CC and Jinxx. Guys, this is Gwyn.”
Jon was the first to offer a hand to shake, and I noticed that all three of them were impressed that she had a firm handshake. There was a round of ‘hi’s.’
To break the tension, CC cracked a joke. “Gwyn actually made quite the impression earlier. She exploded out of the car and knocked me off my feet. You’re a force to be reckoned with, dude.”
Gwyn looked petrified and embarrassed.“I’m so sorry-“
CC made an appeasing gesture with his hands. “Are you kidding, it was hilarious! And then you proceeded to save the day by soothing the savage singer by whispering him sweet nothings and using your rather unique feminine wiles.”
Gwyn laughed. “Something like that.” Oh, thank you CC! She was laughing!
Jon piped up. “Since the cab is waiting, if you guys want to get Gwyn’s stuff?”
Gwyn turned to Jon, still pink. “Mr. Syverson, I just wanted to thank you for accommodating me on such short notice. I don’t take it for granted, and I’m willing to compensate you for whatever losses that may entail-“
No way! “-Gwyn! Let’s get your stuff! Or he’ll have losses in taxicab fare!” I didn’t miss Jon’s little nod of approval at Gwyn's offer. Hmph. It was enough that Gwyn was paying for her own plane ticket back, I thought.
We went to her car together and held hands for just a moment. “Hey, I really am sorry about that-“
Gwyn smiled. “-We’ll talk about it later, don’t worry about it now.”
I gave her a goofy grin. “Are you sorry you came? Or still glad?”
I felt a saucy pinch on my ass! “Are you kidding? Let’s go, Hot-shot!”
I grimaced. “She just grabbed Andy by the dick, man.”
Z groaned. “What the fuck is Gwyn’s deal with that, anyway? She kicked me in the balls a couple times; one time she twisted my dick too! She ever do that to you, man?”
I nodded. I couldn’t take watching anymore, and handed the binoculars to Z, who took up watching reluctantly. “Once was enough, dude. I think I learned faster than you.”
Z flipped me the bird somewhat half-heartedly, his face looking almost ashen as he watched Andy’s manhood getting squashed. “I know we came to protect Gwyn, but maybe we should make sure she doesn’t actually rip Andy's cock off. He doesn't seem like that bad of a guy, I feel like that would be going too far-“
“Dude, she won’t. She’s never actually torn a dick off. I mean, that I know of. From what I was watching, Andy started some fight unjustly, so she’s making some kind of point. It’s always about making some kind of freaking point with her. Besides, when have you been concerned about other dude's cocks?” Z punched me, but it was pretty weak for Z. Andy was probably still getting his junk punished. I didn't envy him. Hopefully Andy was a fast learner too. Gwyn was incredibly attuned to her own moral compass, sometimes. I rolled my eyes.
Z looked excited. “Ooo! She’s meeting some of them, the famous fuckers, I don’t know their names. She looks happy! Aww, that’s fuckin' nice! Gets me in the fuckin' feels, motherfucker!” Z punched me for emphasis, stronger that time.
A while passed with Z giving me a blow-by-blow. They got her stuff from the car, Andy and Gwyn held hands (Z belched), loaded it in the cab, and left.
Z turned to me, satisfied. “Alright, motherfucker, you ready for this?”
I sighed. No, definitely not. I was dead and stalking the living. “As much as I’ll ever be. Let’s go get our tickets, dude.”
NotesVote: Should I write a sequel?
See the Results thus far of the Poll
my first story, finally finished. i hope some of you liked it. i'm going to work on editing it in the upcoming months, as it has some major problems, but i'm still proud of it, for what it is. please let me know if you liked it, it's always good to hear positive stuff.