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The story of a lonesome ol'Jerome

Road Trip! XIII

*Gwyn’s POV*

In a few minutes, we would be at SeaTac Airport. I wasn’t sure who would be there, but I realized it didn’t matter; I was terrified. Sooner or later, sometime this evening, I was going to enter Andy’s world. Who knew what that meant exactly?

I could tell Andy had sensed my nervousness by the way he had been cracking jokes one after the other as soon as he ran out of questions. He also had been avoiding smoking, presumably not wanting to set me on edge. It made me feel a little guilty, but I appreciated it, for now. I figured we’d be there soon and he could have a smoke then.

I noticed Andy stopped talking and I glanced at him. He patted my leg (again, distally, making me smile). “It’ll be alright, Doc. We’re actually beating them there, even. Their cab was running late, Jon says he’s sorry.”

I felt a small rush of relief. I wasn’t extremely high maintenance, but just a few moments to stretch and take a peek at myself beforehand might help a bit. “That’s totally cool, even preferable, really.”

I zoned out for a moment and briefly, not unlike when we had first met, totally checked out Andy’s crotch. Oops! Luckily he had been texting or something. It wasn’t exactly intentional. Fucklord, why did people willingly wear such tight pants? Don’t they get wedgies more often that way? I mean, I wasn’t going to complain or ask, though… I didn’t want to discourage him. It did remind me of something I had read once. I snickered.

Andy grunted, curious. “What?”

How was I going to explain my thought process? Oh shitsauce, this one was especially weird. Well, I’d give it my best. “So, this one time, I was doing research for this fan fiction I was writing-“ Andy tried to suppress a titter, but not very fucking hard, “-shut up, I like, you know, I dunno, a hint of realism, or whatever. I mean, does that make sense?”

Andy made a non-committal noise. I made a slightly irritated face, but pushed onward. He wasn’t trying to push my buttons, I was just being sensitive because of the situation. Ugh.

“Anyways, I was reading peoples’ reviews of a show Black Veil had played. And there was this hilarious one written by this mother that had brought her daughter to the concert. I remember, she had said that you had a smile that would, ‘melt your pants right off.’ And I was thinking about that, one time when I was driving home from a veterinary seminar, like, for hours, and I came up with this insane conspiracy theory.”

Andy perked up a little, more interested. “Yeah?”

“Yes! You, you’re the reason all those young girls wear skinny jeans, Andy!” I grinned broadly, triumphant.

I heard amusement in Andy’s voice, but he wasn’t buying it. “I totally don’t get it.”

“Because, like, if they are nice and tight, like, if they’re on there really good, they’re less likely to be melted off by your charisma, right? They’re more snug, more associated with the wearer. Like, if I wore skinny jeans, or pants, or whatever the fuck those tight pants are made out of, they’re, like, more infused, with my Gwyn-ness than bell bottoms would be, because they’re so tightly adhered, and thus more resistant-“

Andy laughed. “But I wear skinny jeans!”

“Of course you do! See, I figured that out too!” I was just getting started! “You’re not immune to your own hotness, Andy, it’s fucking dangerous! That’s why, like, a while back, you had to wear pants that were so fucking tight, the tightest of them all, the spandex ones, dude!” Andy snorted. “I shit you not, that was the real reason for the penis GPS, Hot-shot; because if you looked too long at your own genitalia to adjust it or urinate, you’d get aroused, and your own pants would melt away entirely! The whole thing was just self-defense!”

Andy scowled. “What the hell, wait a second? Are you saying I’ve grown old and haggard-“

I rolled my eyes. “-No! Your powers have only increased in strength, but so has your knowledge and mastery of them.” I nodded sagely. During my ride home from the veterinary conference, I’d had, maybe, six hours to come up with my pant-melting theory. It was, one could say, bulletproof. I snickered internally at my ingeniousness. “For example, I have found that tougher fabrics, such as denim, work decently well against your powers-“

“-The fuck it does! You succumbed within hours of meeting me. And, need I add, pretty consistently since-“ I hadn’t actually met Andy yet when I came up with my theory. Hmm… I’d have to wing it on this.

“-Dammit, see, that was my fatal flaw: I wasn’t wearing pants at the time, I was wearing a skirt.” I glanced at Andy, who looked like the cat that ate the canary. I couldn’t help smiling back at him; he was so cute! “Stop smirking, I didn’t say I regretted it!”

Wait a second… He was proving my point! “See?”

Andy wasn't following. “What?”

I gestured at my legs. “You are like so fucking hot right now, but both my pants, being tough jeans, and your pants, being skinny, are intact!”

We both laughed. I felt a little more at ease as I took the exit for the SeaTac Airport.

Notes

QOTD: Are you a skinny jeans person?

Nah.

Comments

*NOTE* The author of this story no longer has access to her account due to site malfunction.
SmuttyPariah SmuttyPariah
4/15/17

Ok, cool. I don't mind plodding plots at all, but as a frustrated English teacher, I can totally understand the grammar and structure stuff.

Merelan Merelan
1/26/17

@Merelan


oh, i'm not changing it significantly in that regard. i mean more a stylistic change to make it easier to read: breaking up paragraphs, improving grammar and tense consistency, stuff like that. i've become a much better writer and i want my stuff to reflect that. if you're nervous about the changed, you can check out the newest version on my wattpad account. my user name is anathemadvm, just plain anathema was taken. i'm still likely to further revise the very beginning a little, but nothing is plot related, i like the plot as much as i ever did. i just want it to be easier to read, that's all.

anathema anathema
1/26/17

@anathema
Actually, the beginning of LoJ fits the story perfectly, IMHO. You establish Gywn as a likeable, but clearly flawed character from the door. It's much different from most other fanfic, which want to get to the Bride(s) ASAP.

Merelan Merelan
1/26/17

@Merelan


oh my goodness! i don't think even i have read it that many times, though i could be wrong! i've certainly only read it through once in one sitting! i promise that the edited version is higher quality, but i don't dare tinker with it here until i have the whole thing ready to go. right now i've edited through chapter 50, though i might need to ahve another look at the very beginning, because it's so plodding.

anathema anathema
1/26/17