The story of a lonesome ol'Jerome
Road Trip! X
“Definitely. Now we’re on to the Black Veil section.” I groaned. This would surely reveal how much of a pathetic fangirl I was. There wasn’t much point in hiding it, I was resolved not to misrepresent myself in any way, but that didn’t mean I was looking forward to being mortified. “How did you learn about us?”
Oh fuck, really? “Dude, that is way embarrassing-“
Andy made a sort of ambiguous, excited noise and shifted in his seat, fidgeting. “Tell me!” Foolishly, I glanced at him, and his ridiculously beautiful, blue eyes melted all logical resistance in under a second. Probably a good thing it happened so quickly, as I was driving.
“Fuck, fine! So, one merry fucking day, for some godforsaken reason I was trying to figure out what the fuck that website, tumblr was. I didn’t understand it, the concept, anything about it. This was some time ago. I eventually caught on to the idea that it was, like, just this never-ending stream, like, little blips of media for a given concept or key words for a search that you could follow, right? Well,” I felt myself turning pink, “I was trying to pin down what I found attractive in, er, men, because I find so many women attractive, and much fewer men. It didn’t make sense to me, but that’s a whole different conversation that’s tangential, really, anyways. So, I guess I noticed that, you know, just like with chicks, it was often, whatever you’d call it, ‘alternative’ people, though I fucking hate facial hair, though I guess that’s not really gender-specific, I’d hate it on a chick too, really…”
I was rambling, putting off the confession. I decided to just jump into it. “So, I think, I did some search on tumblr to try and find attractive men, I don’t remember what it was. It brought up a gif of you being interviewed by Bryan Stars, and it had some pithy quote from the interview overlaid on it.” I laughed nervously in embarrassment. “I was like, ‘shit, that dude is like, SO fucking hot, and he’s got a decent head on his shoulders, who the fuck is that?’ So I looked at the tags, and all it said was ‘Bryan Stars.’ So I’m all, ‘whoa, this Bryan Stars is the shit, he’s possibly the hottest man alive!’” Andy started laughing.
“So, good thing I’m such a fucking creeper, I googled Bryan Stars, and I was like, ‘Whoa, wrong guy! Anus!’ It took me like an hour to find the right interview on youtube, and then I found out you were not only articulate and hot, but being interviewed because you were in ‘some band.’ Do you have any idea how relieved I was when it turned out that BVB actually rocked after all that effort?” Andy sounded pleased as he laughed his ass off.
“How long have you been a fan?” I exhaled loudly.
“Man, all these questions are super-humiliating, and you can’t answer them, it’s just me talking!” I protested.
Andy brushed me off. “Even if you were a brand new fan, it wouldn’t make you less of one. This inquiring mind wants to know!”
“All right, fine. March of 2013, via that tumblr thing I just told you about. Before that I didn’t know you existed. Vet school is like a total black hole, or its own bubble of existence. Not a lot goes on in Pullman, Andy. I never went out or did anything, I think I went to one concert over the course of four years-“
“-Really?” Andy sounded horrified.
“Yeah. Because of school, then work and shit, Saturday was the first time I ever saw you guys play live. It was awesome.” I grinned, remembering.
A bit of BVB trivia I had been wondering about randomly came flitting to mind. “My turn! I have a question for you. Where did that circular BVB logo come from? Sometimes I see it and sometimes I don’t.”
“Oh, um, it’s called the ‘Mourning Star,’ with a ‘u.’ A lot of people call it the pentacharm, which drives me nuts. Calling it the Mourning Star fits with Black Veil because of the biblical context, I mean, you know, religious imagery has always fascinated me, and both Lucifer and Jesus were both referred to as the Morning Star, uh, no 'u.' It was designed by a friend of mine from Cincinnati who went to art school; Richard Villa. He designed it a while before we started using it. I think it first showed up in the video for ‘Perfect Weapon.’ But he’s done a ton of stuff for us; he did a lot of the artwork for Wretched and Divine too, for example.” That was awesome! “What’s your favorite Black Veil song?”
“What the fuck? That’s like entrapment, like me asking you if some pants make my ass look big or something, no answer I give will be a good one-“ Andy laughed.
“-Come on! That’s such bullshit!” I sputtered in protest. “Fine, than we’ll say, not of all time, but just right this very second.”
I narrowed my eyes at the road, and got an idea for rebellion. “The Gunsling.” Andy made a strange noise, kind of like what I imagined an unhappy, elderly anteater would sound like if it was humming to itself. “You asked! You asked, you insisted, now you have to pick one!”
Andy made another, louder, disapproving anteater noise. “Me? But Black Veil-“
“-Pick a damned song, Hot-shot!” I sensed he was making with some sort of quizzical face. I glanced over and had time to discern that I was correct, the left eyebrow was, in fact, in maximum play. “May I have a piece of the despicable gum, please?”
Andy extracted me a piece of nicotine gum and popped it in my mouth. “Done for you.” I scowled. “What, do you not like that song?”
I gnashed the fruity, tough gum furiously. “It’s a goddamned beautiful song, Andy, it’s fine. Love songs, sometimes they make me a little sensitive, they hit a chord with me. Often it’s better that I don’t listen to them.”
“Why?” I briefly wondered if all men were deficient in something genetically, or what?
“You have to ask? Seriously? My past, my relationship history.” I chewed the gum a little harder.
Andy hesitated. “Do you want to make that a question? Do you want to tell me about that?” He sounded nervous.
I blindly reached for his hand for a second and patted it before putting going back to the wheel. “How about not while I’m driving in the rain, ok? I will totally tell you about, you know, whatever, just- later. Right now I’m nervous as shit about what’s about to go down. So-“ dorkily, I pointed outside, “-raincheck?”
I could hear relief in Andy’s voice that he hadn’t made a mistake. “Yeah, totally.” He scribbled something down, and I wondered what. “What’s your favorite video of ours?”
I snorted. “We just had this discussion-“
Andy wasn’t budging. “-Doc!”
I thought about it. There had to be a way I could win. I had it! “I choose the entire ‘Legion of the Black!’”
“What the fuck, you can’t do that!” Andy was trying for pissed, but he was barely holding back laughter.
“I just did, Hot-shot, suck it! Pick one.” However, my smug victory was short-lived.
Andy scribbled. “I guess I go with ‘Goodbye Agony,’ then-“
“-There’s a video for that?!?” My mouth fell open.
Andy perked up, now pleased to have the upper hand. “Yeah, it just came out last week, have you not seen it? Don’t you have facebook or twitter-“
“-Yes! No! I have a job, Andy! I want to see-“
“-You’re driving! We can watch when we get there. It has Alicia Vigil in it, she was Eve Black, and David Sasik, he was in the video for Knives and Pens-“ I squealed like a little girl, making Andy chuckle. “So can you at least pick a favorite album?”
That totally horrified me! “Fuck no! That’s like picking a favorite pet or child or something! What the fuck is wrong with you!?!”
After a pause, I guess he realized I was not going to budge on that one. “Shit, ok. Sorry I asked.” Andy scribbled for a bit, and then he seemed to kind of squirm or something. It was hard to tell, because I was concentrating on driving, but I had the feeling he was about to spit something out. “So, earlier, you said you were so excited to meet Black Veil Brides, uh, I mean, or something like that.” I could hear him fussing with his pen, and I thought I knew where he was going with this.
“Andy, I’m sorry if it came out weird, I meant the rest of Black Veil Brides. I, um, I’m really sorry if I hurt your feelings. I certainly consider you absolutely, beyond vital, to Black Veil, from what I know, not that I would know about the inner workings, but, I mean, just based on sound and public knowledge, you know, err… Just…
“Look, in order for me to be able to relate to you, you know, and be able to not feel kind of insane, not get starstruck and shit, I can’t keep reminding myself that you’re, you know, that Andy Biersack, 'talented frontman for Black Veil Brides,' because that shit doesn’t process. If anything, I’ve been trying to forget. Look, I know that, in, like, an hour, it’s going to be impossible to forget, but I guess I wanted to relate to you as a person without that first.” I suddenly felt really stupid. I hoped I hadn’t insulted him. I decided to just stop talking, just drive.
After a second, Andy grunted. “So as a weird mental defense mechanism, you stripped me naked of my public persona. Dirty doctor-“
I snorted.“-I guess, I’m not a totally mentally incapacitated imbecile, here! I know who you are, for fuck’s sake!”
Andy chortled. “Whatever, Doc. I don’t exist, remember, nor am I even in Black Veil anymore, so I’m going to ask you whatever the fuck questions I damned well please, woman!” I tittered. Cheeky dickhead!
“So, you’re excited to meet them?” I glanced at Andy. What a ridicuous question! I just nodded. I wasn’t in the mood to give a lengthy soliloquy about the meaning of their music in my life. “Great! Don’t worry, I will downplay how we met. I mean, the whole, you know, punching of balls, you being a fan, us boning and then fighting, how I wrecked the bus, then me stalking you online with thousands of fans worldwide thing.” I glanced at Andy and swallowed. “Maybe I should leave the part out about the ER?” I chewed my gum a little harder, starting to get even more nervous than I had been. I was pretty sure his Tour manager already knew about the ER, but Andy would figure that out soon enough...
“Anything you’re nervous about with the guys?” That was uncanny! Fucking mind-reader!
“Uh, of course! Like, everything." I got a sudden horrible thought. "Did you tell them I write fan fiction?” I glanced at Andy; he looked guilty. “Shit! You fucking suck! Did you find me yet, have they seen it?” I peeked at him again, he was vehemently shaking his head.
“You’re a bastard. A fucking bastard. Is there nothing sacred? Are there no secrets that should be kept? Motherfuckingshittingfuckass!” I smacked the wheel angrily.
Andy ventured hesitantly. “You’re extremely attractive when you’re angry.”
“What the fuck?!?” I scowled at him.
Andy grinned. “I could jerk off right now.”
“Biersack, I know full well how to castrate primates. Don’t push your luck. No car sex!” And yet I smiled at him. Horrid man!
Andy got cheeky and put his hand on my leg. Wisely, he did so distally. “Anything else you’re worried about?”
“One stupid thing in particular.” Andy grunted, and I sighed. “I’m a fucking bleeding heart, Andy. Jake froze, thawed, then chucked one of his fish out a window, just for being aggressive! It was a naturally aggressive fish in a community tank, it was just acting instinctively, it should never have been there! For fuck’s sake, if he didn’t like it, he should have taken it to a fucking pet store, not tortured it and killed it!"
I grimaced. "Anyway, I feel very strongly about it, I can’t even talk about it. I don’t want it to come up, but I’m afraid it will. Fuck!”
Andy sounded mystified. “How do you even know about that?”
“The same way any fan knows about any other weird shit. The internet. Well, an interview on the internet.” I frowned.
Andy squeezed my leg before moving his hand. “You ok with sleeping on a bus with a bunch of other people?”
I nodded. “Yeah, of course. My main concern is that I’ll be able to plug my CPAP in, but you already said it would work out. I brought an extension cord. Do you know if I get my own bunk or if we’re sharing? I mean, we sort of fit in one, but that was, like, for sexin-“
Andy laughed. “There are enough for you to have your own for sleeping if you want it, but know that you totally have visitation privileges.”
Oh thank fuck! I was sure there would be times I would need somewhere to retreat to. I wasn't exactly an extrovert.
1. how did you learn about BVB?
similar story. this pic is too late to be the same as Gwyn's, it's from Bryan's BVB interview #7. i have a link to it in the summary for this story, where Andy explains what 'Jerome' means. go ahead, let the laughter commence, i can take it.
2. how long have you been a fan? ~March 2015
3. Favorite BVB Song/Video/Album? i don't do favorites
4. which do you like better, Alive and Burning or Legion of the Black? which you like better- sleeping or eating?
5. ever slept on a bus? my grandparents' RV, and an RV when i went to burning man many years ago.
side note: super-stoked to go see Nightwish at the Showbox SODO later this evening in Seattle, WA! woohoo! i haven't seen them before, should be great!