The story of a lonesome ol'Jerome

*Gwyn’s POV*

Frankly, I was worried that someone would think Andy and I were actually getting it on in Plug during Andy’s whole ‘two minutes of kissing’ thing at the rest stop. On the other hand, given who Andy was, there was no way I wanted to do it outside of the car either. Ugh… I figured I’d just use the stopwatch function on my phone, the one I used to take vital signs at the clinic when there wasn’t a clock around. Why, Andy, why must you be, you know, that Andy? Not that I was ever into PDA. Never have been-

Just as I parked the car, my broody thoughts were interrupted. “So, you want to make out in the car, middle of the street, middle of the rest stop, or… Hmmm, by your beautiful, scowling face, allow me to suggest the car?” Andy’s bright smile was so cute and silly, I had to smile too.

“I’m just not a PDA person, Hot-shot. I have never been comfortable with it. Especially since, I mean, eh… considering, you know. I mean, I think it’s pretty reasonable, right?” Andy nodded but waited. He just looked down at me and waited me out. How the fuck could he possibly know me well enough already to be able to tell I was holding shit back? Was I utterly transparent?

I caved and let my thoughts kind of spill out. “Dude, there are literally thousands of people that hold you close to their heart in, um, you know, a weird, possessive fan, kind of way. They aren’t just fans of your music, or your message, it’s like they covet you. Those people are often the most hateful, I think, though not always. I want to do as little as possible to be picked up by those peoples’ radar, you know? Let them have their dreams, I want to be left alone by them.”

Andy sighed and took my hand. “You can’t control what other people are going to do. Some people fixate on me in a way, and want me to fit whatever ideal they have fashioned or whatever emptiness is in their life. A lot of the time, when they realize I’m a real, actual, flawed person that will never measure up to whatever they have going on in their head, they lose interest, and go on to the next guy. They have short attention spans, just ignore them.”

Andy grinned. “Ignore everyone else, and kiss me, for the agreed upon minimum of two minutes!” His eyes sparkled, and I felt butterflies tickle from my stomach to my chest as he wrapped a hand around the back of my head.

Andy stole my breath away, stopwatch completely forgotten. Much longer than two minutes later, we were both lightly panting. I was clinging to his shoulders, and resting my forehead on his collarbone. Andy chuckled, the deep tones vibrating in my ear. “We fogged the car, Doc.” Oooh, shit!

“Hurry, Andy, we need to go take a piss, or people might think we were fucking in here!” Andy just laughed.

“No way I’d finish that fast! I have my manly-man-honor to defend, woman!” But he was a good sport, and we both got out of the car and headed towards the bathrooms.

I came out of the bathroom to find Andy signing an autograph and having pictures taken. I froze, then sort of hid behind a post. I figured I could just 'casually' wait until no fans were within range and then run for the car. I thought I had done pretty well when I’d stifled my initial urge to flee, pell-mell, into the woods.

I peeked around the post at Andy. A second fan had found him, dammit! Andy was being friendly, but I saw him check his cellphone. He was probably wondering if I was having terrible diarrhea-

“He’s actually really friendly, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind if you went up and said hi.” Oh my god, the first fan! Fucking shitting dicklord! She looked so happy to have met him, to have shook his hand, fuckballs, I couldn’t lie about who I was, shitshitshit!!!!

I made a quick decision. I was never much of a liar. I’d have to be careful.

“If you want to know the truth, I’m actually driving Andy to the next BVB show. I’m just nervous about interrupting his interaction with fans. He probably thinks I fell in the toilet by now, see? It’s why he keeps looking at his phone, I bet.” I pointed at Andy, and the girl chuckled. It made me happy to do something to make her feel special or in-the-know. “I’m going to go scoop him up so that he makes it on time, maybe we’ll see you there this evening?” She nodded and I waved as I started walking towards the rather conspicuous tall, dark, and handsome man that was now petting a pug. The veterinarian in me noted that it wasn’t as overweight as usual for the breed. Good on the owner! In the back of my mind, I found myself listening for increased upper respiratory noises (to be expected for a brachycephalic breed, but it was always important to note the degree…) as I talked to Andy.

“Quick, Hot-shot, we have to go, while there are no fans! The coast is clear!” I gestured around us urgently. The back of my mind added a side note: I’d need to auscultate, but it sounded like this pug was about on par for degree of upper airway obstruction. Radiographs would be necessary to evaluate diameter of trachea… I tried to dismiss thoughts of the pug’s respiratory system.

Andy grinned. “I thought maybe you had left with some awesome rock star, having found me far too dull, you were gone so long.”I snorted.

“Right? Cause I’m such a groupie, and a rest stop is where all the A-list rock stars go lookin’ to hook up with soopa-hawt mamas like me?” Little pug wandered towards its owner, an elderly woman with a long retractable leash.

Andy pointed at me, and motioned me closer. He leaned towards me and spoke right into my ear. “Kindly note I am respecting your stated boundaries, Doc. As you don’t like public displays of affection, I have refrained from yelling the following out loud and planting a big kiss on you afterwards, but you’re definitely getting one later.” I could just feel Andy’s lips brushing the shell of my ear. “You’re no groupie, you’re my woman, and you’re fucking scalding hot. And just hooking up won’t do, nope-nope-nope! You’re coming with me!” Andy smirked at me. “As for your list, I say fuck lists, I’m taking my super-hot mama with me when I go, and any other rock stars at this rest stop can suck it.”

Oddly, as Andy leaned away, I had the thought that, if I were a lock, I bet Andy would have a key. That or he’d know how to pick me in a heartbeat. This was followed by a variety of indecent thoughts brought on by the phrase ‘suck it.’

I blinked a few times, trying to clear my head. I looked over at the little pug, trying to focus on veterinary thoughts. Smooshed face, bad health problems, very costly. Was that all I had? This made me suspicious that the feelings I was developing were… I buried the thought as I followed Andy to Plug. I had to be able to focus to drive.

Notes

QOTD: ever run into anyone famous at a rest stop?

nope. though, many, many years ago, i once ran into a former co-worker, who took it upon herself to tell me she was on the run from the law. i was like, 'uh, i barely know you , and you told me that?' i question, sometimes, the wisdom of others...