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The story of a lonesome ol'Jerome

A smooth operator & christ's nipples

*Gwyn’s POV*

Andy sat up quickly. “What!? What? Ok!” He saw I was laughing, looked around, and blinked a couple times. “Are… no… What’s so damned funny?” He looked irritated. Uh-oh. Cranky rockstar. Ugh.

I had managed to stop laughing with an effort, but I couldn’t stop smiling. “You, uh, you farted…In my car!” I started laughing again, though more subdued.

At first Andy was annoyed, folding his arms and glowering as I chortled. “As though you don’t fart…” he mumbled. But I caught him watching me. “You’re lucky you’re so cute when you’re laughing at me, Doc.” I glanced at him quickly, and just the very corners of his mouth had flipped skywards.

“Andy, I’m not fucking laughing at you-“ I protested.

“-Then what was that all about?” Now he was smiling, thrusting his chin out defiantly.

“The fact that I’ve kidnapped Black Veil Bride’s lead singer to help me take my ferret to the vet clinic I work at, for boarding, in the middle of the fucking night, and on the way there, he motherfucking farted in my car!” I started chuckling again to myself, and Andy shook his head.

“It’s hardly you kidnapping me, Gwyn. I’m coming along because I want a tour of where my girlfriend works.” I felt heat rushing into my cheeks, and Andy went on, sounding pleased with himself. He must have noticed. “You left out the part where I am kidnapping you for two weeks as soon as we drop Sherpa off.” I felt his hand on my leg.

“Hands off, sexy man! I’m driving, and we’re almost there.” I shot Andy an ogre of a scowl, and he withdrew the hand with a snort.

“I wasn’t trying anything like that! Jesus, woman!” He was pouting again.

“Right. Well, just FYI, I don’t do car sex in general, and definitely not in a moving vehicle where a participant is involved in the driving.Capiche?”Andy looked worried.

“Uh…Does a bus count as car sex?” I laughed.

“No, Hot-shot.I will totally fuck you on your bus, parked or not.Ok?” I heard Andy let out a breath he had been holding before he chuckled softly too.

“You scared the piss out of me for a second there.” After a second he asked, “can I at least hold your hand?”

I felt butterflies exploding through my gut, that Andy would really just want to hold my hand. I couldn’t say anything. I just took my right hand off the steering wheel and placed it in his larger left one.

As I drove, I felt Andy carefully interlace our fingers. About a mile before our exit, he brought my hand to his lips and kissed it softly. My heart was racing, and I drove right past the exit. Shit.

“Andy, you are one smooth operater. I totally just missed the exit.” He started laughing. “Yeah, the same exit I take every fucking day to work. Fucking christ’s nipples!” Andy chortled on for a good while, sounding pleased.


so, as a dork, it is entertaining for me to observe the fate of my two stories after i have unleashed them to the masses. though i never would change a fucking thing about anything i write to try and make them more popular, it does, to a certain extent, inflate my pathetic self-esteem to think that others might enjoy reading them, find some value in them, or what have you. i also like making other people happy.

but my favorite thing is to imagine my stories as, like, at war with each other. LOJ is, like, the swarthy, old pirate of a story, that has stood the test of time according to some. it's a couple months older than Succubus. LOJ has few followers, but those that like it, seem to really dig it. Succubus is the supernatural upstart, with more smut, and its popularity wildly varies, as does its rating. it's had a few real haters. but it's gathering subscribers and all that kind of shit faster. so i imagine these two anthropomorphized versions of my stories facing off and i'll go see how they compare in terms of popularity every now and then. it's interesting. like a Frankenstein's monster versus Dracula situation.

QOTD: Frankenstein's Monster or Dracula?

as for me: i go both ways :D how could i not?


*NOTE* The author of this story no longer has access to her account due to site malfunction.
SmuttyPariah SmuttyPariah

Ok, cool. I don't mind plodding plots at all, but as a frustrated English teacher, I can totally understand the grammar and structure stuff.

Merelan Merelan


oh, i'm not changing it significantly in that regard. i mean more a stylistic change to make it easier to read: breaking up paragraphs, improving grammar and tense consistency, stuff like that. i've become a much better writer and i want my stuff to reflect that. if you're nervous about the changed, you can check out the newest version on my wattpad account. my user name is anathemadvm, just plain anathema was taken. i'm still likely to further revise the very beginning a little, but nothing is plot related, i like the plot as much as i ever did. i just want it to be easier to read, that's all.

anathema anathema

Actually, the beginning of LoJ fits the story perfectly, IMHO. You establish Gywn as a likeable, but clearly flawed character from the door. It's much different from most other fanfic, which want to get to the Bride(s) ASAP.

Merelan Merelan


oh my goodness! i don't think even i have read it that many times, though i could be wrong! i've certainly only read it through once in one sitting! i promise that the edited version is higher quality, but i don't dare tinker with it here until i have the whole thing ready to go. right now i've edited through chapter 50, though i might need to ahve another look at the very beginning, because it's so plodding.

anathema anathema