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7

~Emily's POV~
In an attempt to keep my mind off of Andy, I busied myself with researching ideas for sociology projects. Tomorrow I'm going to leave my phone at home, I have to show him I'm not always going to be there for him. That's his girlfriend's job anyway.


~Andy's POV~
You'd think studying programming would put a guy to sleep but you'd be wrong. I started blasting music until my neighbor banged on the other side of wall and ended that party.

"Hey" Olivia answered in a low, sleepy voice.

"I can't sleep." I stared at the webcam. "Wanna Videochat?"

She yawed the words, "Noooo. I'm in bed."

"I know but I need someone to talk to." I said quietly.

"This call's going to kill my minutes. Talk to you tomorrow." She said softly.

"We can Videochat over Wi-Fi." I sighed. She didn't reply. I whispered I love you but she'd already hung up.

I called Emily and got her voice mail. "Hey Em. It's Andy. We haven't talked in awhile." Dead air. I didn't know what to say. "Um. Check your messages." I couldn't tell her I missed her. I scrolled through the pictures on my phone and found the last pic Olivia and I took together before I left for college a few weeks ago. We were both smiling with our arms around each other, who knew being apart would be this hard? Every day away from her felt like a month and texting wasn't the same as seeing her. Suddenly my head was killing me; I wasn't going to leave bed today.


~Emily's POV~
I kept an eye out for Ashley but he didn't seem to be anywhere. I had my phone in my bag all day but I didn't have it on and by the time I got home I was Andy starved. I squealed when I finally turned my phone on and saw that he'd left me a voice mail. Something in his voice sounded so sad that I signed on half expecting another 'we broke up' message.

"Miss you." I read it over and over. Andy misses me? Am I reading too much into this?

My screen lit up, "Andy Biersack calling. Answer. Answer with video. Decline." I ran to the bathroom and fixed my eyeliner before answering with video.

When a black screen showed up I laughed. "Andy." I said.

"Okay so before you see me, I haven't slept much." His words were slurred.

I smiled. "I'll try not to hold it against you."

He moved his hand away from the webcam and my heart skipped a beat when I saw his face inches away from my screen. His huge blue eyes had me sighing.

"I know. Pretty bad, right?" He said and looked down.

"You look beautiful." I said. Dammit mouth, don't start this again.

He smiled for a moment and crossed his arms. "So do you."

I giggled and wiped the smile off my face a moment later. "Thanks." I bit my lip.

"What do you think of university?" He asked randomly.

"Ugh, I have so many classes." I tried to pretend I didn't miss him like crazy and glanced at myself to see if I looked lovesick.

"Yeah, tell me about it." He seemed distant.

"This weekend's gonna suck, I've got homework for days." I rolled my eyes.

"Pfft. I didn't even go today." He reached toward the webcam but instead of moving it he pulled a pack of smokes out and placed one in his mouth.

"You smoke now? Wow I've missed out on a lot." When did he start smoking?

"Only when I drink." He grinned mischievously and held up a shot glass. "Cheers."

"How much have you had?" I leaned closer to the screen. He had dark circles under his eyes so I didn't notice the sadness they held at first.

He held up an empty 40 oz. "This much." He lit the smoke and looked into the webcam. "Not the whole thing. Just like six, maybe seven or eight shots." He shrugged.

"Skipping school, getting drunk and smoking, this is a whole new you." I lectured, sounding like my dad.

He turned his lips to the side when he exhaled a long sigh of smoke as though trying not to get smoke on me. I smiled, he was lit. "Yep." He smiled again and I let myself stare at his lips, it's not like he could tell.

"How about you get some sleep and try again tomorrow?" I suggested.

He laughed. "You need a drink." He held up his mustache shot glass and clinked it against the webcam.

I need a lot of drinks. "So you miss me?" I decided to probe; he's drunk enough to tell the truth.

He looked away from the webcam and back at me. "One sec." He walked away.

I leaned closer to the screen in an attempt to see what he was doing. When I turned the sound up I thought I heard him rip paper. "Andy?" I looked at the clock at the corner of the screen, heard a loud crash and then silence.

He fell clumsily into his chair and it slid sideways, "Wow." He moved the chair back and looked at the webcam. "I went to get this and fell, did you see that?" He threw his head back in a deep laughter.

"No." I giggled. "I wish I would have."

"Okay, so I crumpled this when I fell and I kind of tore the edges off when I took it down from the wall but look." He held his hands up to the screen and showed me my drawing.

My hand covered my mouth in surprise. He kept it.

He lowered the drawing and showed his smiling face. "I miss you when you're gone." He said and looked into the webcam.

My heart stopped again. "I miss you too." I hope he forgets this.

"Em." He leaned closer to the screen. "Hey Em." He whispered.

I giggled. "Yes Andy."

"Come closer." He moved his chair in and leaned into the screen.

What the hell is he doing? I giggled and moved closer, staring into his piercing blue eyes.

He reached up to the webcam and pushed his chair back. "GOT YOUR NOSE!" He shouted.

I laughed at his clenched fist. "Give it back!"

"Okay, come close again." He moved so close to the screen and all I could see was his eye and part of his nose. "Ah yes, I think reattachment surgery is possible."

"I think you missed your calling in life as a surgeon." I laughed.

"Shh. Close your eyes. This might hurt but I've got vodka." He moved back from the webcam and looked right at me. "Good as new."

I was still giggling. "You're crazy."

"This picture is crazy!" He held it up again. "I think YOU missed YOUR calling in life as a draw-er-er."

"Let's change our majors." I giggled. "You're a surgeon. I'm an artist."

His face lit up. "We'll combine our knowledge into one person and become Dexter." He said and laughed. "But seriously." He set the drawing down and went close to the screen again.

I stayed back and admired the screen.

"Things have been bad." He looked at me. "Sometimes I think I shouldn't be with Olivia."

"You're right." I shrugged. "She's terrible for you Andy, look at you."

He stared off to the side of the screen, lost in thought. I noticed the scruff growing at the corner of his jawbone, the way his pouty lips pursed together as he was thinking. His hair was shiny and his hand kept piling it all into a fauxhawk then dropping it onto the left side of his face. "I don't want to be alone." He said so quietly I'm not sure he said it, his eyes vacant.

"You're not alone." I whispered. You have me, why can't you see that?

He folded his arms over his chest and shook his head. "Em?" He was still staring vacantly at me.

"Yeah." I whispered.

"You ever think about what happens after we die?"

"Andy." I sighed, "You're thinking too much."

He stared blankly at me, I tilted my head and stared back at him. Moments passed.

"I'm here for you." I whispered.

He shook his head and smiled. "Sorry." He sat back in his chair and brought his knees to his chest, pretending to be okay.

"It's okay to be sad sometimes." I tried to smile, but the thought of him thinking about dying was about to bring tears to my eyes.

"When's the last time I sang to you?" He disappeared and kept talking. "Do you still draw?"

I hadn't sketched anything in a long time. "I don't really draw anymore. I've been busy."

He sat down with an acoustic guitar and took a pick out of his mouth. "I don't really sing anymore either." He held the pick up to me. "But here we go."

As he sang I drew the image that popped into my head. A crowd of hundreds, maybe thousands of people gathered beyond the stage hanging onto his every word, a guitar player on his left and a bass player on his right. I sketched as he sang and when I set the pencil down he set his guitar down.

"Can I see your picture?" He asked, his voice hoarse.

"Andy." I looked down at the page. "I think you should start a band."

Notes





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