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17*
~CC’s POV~
My mind never stops. Even in my sleep. Sometimes I can control my dreams and I’ll spend the night building cities and fucking them up like I’m playing the Sims or something.
If I’m not thinking of anything my fingers start drumming on the nearest hard surface. Sometimes I won’t notice I’m finger drumming until I bang one of my knuckles too hard and the pain knocks me back to reality. I need to knock Andy back to reality. He hasn’t been himself since he and Ollie didn’t get into the same school and that was before grad. He spent the summer attached to her and talking nonstop about her when she wasn’t around.
I didn’t start thinking about why I hit the highway in the Lotus until I noticed the light of day turning into an eerie dark grey before noon. To say that I love a good storm is an understatement, I live for them.
I stopped at the side of the highway to call Amelia, kicking up dust around my feet as I lightly booted my tires. Storms make me think of her. “You’re meeting me for lunch?” She answered.
Shit, I forgot to tell her I was leaving. “I went for a drive.”
“Ooh, needed some thinking time?” She reflected.
“Andy’s in the Hospital. I don’t think Ollie knows, and if not he should probably be the one to tell her.” There isn’t a way I can word this without telling her.
“Oh my God, is he okay?” Now she’s worried.
“Yeah, he’s fine.” I lied. “He’s kind of uh.” I can’t lie to her.
I looked up at the clouds and inhaled the cold smell of storm. It wasn’t raining yet, which is awesome because I hate driving with the windows up, if I can’t feel the wind on my neck when I drive I get anxious.
“Kind of what? It sounds really windy, are you storm chasing?” She shouted as the wind picked up.
I didn’t want to say the words and make it real but I’ve also never been able to lie to Amelia. “He tried to kill himself.” The words caught in my throat. I leaned against the Lotus and tilted my head up to the sky, pushing my bandana down over my eyes a bit as I looked into a dark cloud. The smell of rain filled my lungs for a moment.
“I don’t know what to say.” The words caught in her throat.
“I don’t either. So I filled the car with snacks and started driving.” I pressed my eyes shut. I could see him lying in a Hospital bed but I didn’t want to think about it. I could also see him playing air guitar in a mosh pit while a wall of death started forming on either side of him. It was the first time I shook my head in disbelief thinking he was the crazy one.
“Babe.” Amelia whispered. “You’re doing the right thing.”
My eyes opened and I shook my head. “Yeah.” I sat inside the car again. “There’s a storm starting so I stopped to tell you. It makes me think of…”
“My eyes. I know babe. Don’t worry about me; focus on getting Andy through this. I love you.” She always made things better.
“Leelee.” I whispered, running my hand along the dashboard. “I love you.” I didn’t say it much. I don’t like the serious feeling where everything stops because your heart is reaching out to somebody else’s.
She gasped. “I love you too Ceese.” She whispered.
“I do.” My voice trailed off. “I thought you should know.” I sighed. “I mean.” I started the car.
“Shhh, babe.” She giggled. “It’s okay, you’ve got a lot on your mind.”
“Me?” I laughed. “Never.” I shifted into gear and glided down the highway.
“Oh yeah? Then why’d you take the Lotus out in tornado season?” She teased.
Fuck, she was right. “I wanted to show Andy.” I grinned.
“He needs some guy time.” She laughed. “YOU need some guy time.”
“I need some you time.” I started thinking of her and bit my lip.
“I’ll be here when you get home babe.” She whispered suggestively.
“If I wasn’t driving right now I’d fuck you so hard.” I whispered back.
She giggled. “Call me tonight, let me know how Andy is.”
“Don’t change the subject.” I tried.
“Okay, I’ll talk to you later then.” I heard a bunch of talking in the background. Fuck, she’s in class. At least she’s in class thinking of fucking me.
“Try not to think of my tongue flicking your clit.” I whispered.
“Uh.” She was caught off guard. I grinned.
“And try not to think of my eyes meeting yours as my tongue thrusts into you.” This might count as distracted driving. My mind is a thousand miles off this highway and in her bedroom.
“Sounds good, so I’ll talk to you later?” Her voice cracked mid-sentence.
I laughed. “But your hips are bucking at the mercy of my mouth, do you really want to hang up now?”
I heard her push open the door and enter the hallway. “Damnit Ceese you fucking asshole.” She said.
“Are you wet?” I laughed.
“Uh yeah, obviously.” She sounded annoyed.
“Awesome, talk to you later, bye!” I hung up.
She called right back. “Are you hard?”
“Uh yeah, obviously.” I tried to imitate her voice.
“Let’s do something about it.” She whispered.
As soon as I set the phone to hands free and turned on cruise control she added, “Call me later.” And hung up.
~Emily’s POV~
I’ve thought about meeting Andy too much. I need to not think about it and just go. All I’ve wanted was to be in Andy’s arms, to press my head against his chest and hear his heartbeat, to live in that moment forever and know everything would be okay.
So I called Christian again as soon as I got home.
“You still wet?” He answered.
“Whoa.” I replied.
“Oh.” He laughed nervously. “I was talking to my girlfriend. Fuck, I’m sorry.”
“I see.” I had to laugh at the fact that I’d just gone farther with Christian in one phone call than I ever had with Andy.
“So, you coming?” He asked.
I laughed again.
“I mean, to see Andy.” He laughed with me. “This is awkward.”
"Yeah." I said quietly.
He was silent.
“I want to be there for him. I don’t know if he wants to see me. We had a huge fight.” I started talking and soon the words wouldn’t stop. I hate when I do this. “We never fight. But then he said he didn’t love me and that we were just friends. And we are just friends. I would never try to steal him or anything, but we spent the night on the phone and” I shook my head. “He sort of ended our friendship and I sent him all his stuff back, then he called me after he tried to...” My eyes closed and the tears began.
Christian was still silent.
“I love him.” I whispered.
“It’s okay. I love him too.” Christian laughed.
I laughed and wiped my tears away with my sleeve. “I don’t know how he feels anymore. I want to be there and make it better.” I sounded like an idiot.
“If it helps, he told me you always make everything better.” The wind in the background almost drowned his voice out entirely. But that was all I needed to hear.
“I’m nowhere near you guys.” I sighed.
“I have a trunk full of Monster and candy. I don’t need to stop driving.” Was he always this awesome?
“Okay.” I was still unsure about meeting Andy, but I also felt so excited at the thought of it that I couldn’t stand waiting any longer. I gave him my address and started taking everything out of my closet to pick out what I’d wear when I met him.
My mind never stops. Even in my sleep. Sometimes I can control my dreams and I’ll spend the night building cities and fucking them up like I’m playing the Sims or something.
If I’m not thinking of anything my fingers start drumming on the nearest hard surface. Sometimes I won’t notice I’m finger drumming until I bang one of my knuckles too hard and the pain knocks me back to reality. I need to knock Andy back to reality. He hasn’t been himself since he and Ollie didn’t get into the same school and that was before grad. He spent the summer attached to her and talking nonstop about her when she wasn’t around.
I didn’t start thinking about why I hit the highway in the Lotus until I noticed the light of day turning into an eerie dark grey before noon. To say that I love a good storm is an understatement, I live for them.
I stopped at the side of the highway to call Amelia, kicking up dust around my feet as I lightly booted my tires. Storms make me think of her. “You’re meeting me for lunch?” She answered.
Shit, I forgot to tell her I was leaving. “I went for a drive.”
“Ooh, needed some thinking time?” She reflected.
“Andy’s in the Hospital. I don’t think Ollie knows, and if not he should probably be the one to tell her.” There isn’t a way I can word this without telling her.
“Oh my God, is he okay?” Now she’s worried.
“Yeah, he’s fine.” I lied. “He’s kind of uh.” I can’t lie to her.
I looked up at the clouds and inhaled the cold smell of storm. It wasn’t raining yet, which is awesome because I hate driving with the windows up, if I can’t feel the wind on my neck when I drive I get anxious.
“Kind of what? It sounds really windy, are you storm chasing?” She shouted as the wind picked up.
I didn’t want to say the words and make it real but I’ve also never been able to lie to Amelia. “He tried to kill himself.” The words caught in my throat. I leaned against the Lotus and tilted my head up to the sky, pushing my bandana down over my eyes a bit as I looked into a dark cloud. The smell of rain filled my lungs for a moment.
“I don’t know what to say.” The words caught in her throat.
“I don’t either. So I filled the car with snacks and started driving.” I pressed my eyes shut. I could see him lying in a Hospital bed but I didn’t want to think about it. I could also see him playing air guitar in a mosh pit while a wall of death started forming on either side of him. It was the first time I shook my head in disbelief thinking he was the crazy one.
“Babe.” Amelia whispered. “You’re doing the right thing.”
My eyes opened and I shook my head. “Yeah.” I sat inside the car again. “There’s a storm starting so I stopped to tell you. It makes me think of…”
“My eyes. I know babe. Don’t worry about me; focus on getting Andy through this. I love you.” She always made things better.
“Leelee.” I whispered, running my hand along the dashboard. “I love you.” I didn’t say it much. I don’t like the serious feeling where everything stops because your heart is reaching out to somebody else’s.
She gasped. “I love you too Ceese.” She whispered.
“I do.” My voice trailed off. “I thought you should know.” I sighed. “I mean.” I started the car.
“Shhh, babe.” She giggled. “It’s okay, you’ve got a lot on your mind.”
“Me?” I laughed. “Never.” I shifted into gear and glided down the highway.
“Oh yeah? Then why’d you take the Lotus out in tornado season?” She teased.
Fuck, she was right. “I wanted to show Andy.” I grinned.
“He needs some guy time.” She laughed. “YOU need some guy time.”
“I need some you time.” I started thinking of her and bit my lip.
“I’ll be here when you get home babe.” She whispered suggestively.
“If I wasn’t driving right now I’d fuck you so hard.” I whispered back.
She giggled. “Call me tonight, let me know how Andy is.”
“Don’t change the subject.” I tried.
“Okay, I’ll talk to you later then.” I heard a bunch of talking in the background. Fuck, she’s in class. At least she’s in class thinking of fucking me.
“Try not to think of my tongue flicking your clit.” I whispered.
“Uh.” She was caught off guard. I grinned.
“And try not to think of my eyes meeting yours as my tongue thrusts into you.” This might count as distracted driving. My mind is a thousand miles off this highway and in her bedroom.
“Sounds good, so I’ll talk to you later?” Her voice cracked mid-sentence.
I laughed. “But your hips are bucking at the mercy of my mouth, do you really want to hang up now?”
I heard her push open the door and enter the hallway. “Damnit Ceese you fucking asshole.” She said.
“Are you wet?” I laughed.
“Uh yeah, obviously.” She sounded annoyed.
“Awesome, talk to you later, bye!” I hung up.
She called right back. “Are you hard?”
“Uh yeah, obviously.” I tried to imitate her voice.
“Let’s do something about it.” She whispered.
As soon as I set the phone to hands free and turned on cruise control she added, “Call me later.” And hung up.
~Emily’s POV~
I’ve thought about meeting Andy too much. I need to not think about it and just go. All I’ve wanted was to be in Andy’s arms, to press my head against his chest and hear his heartbeat, to live in that moment forever and know everything would be okay.
So I called Christian again as soon as I got home.
“You still wet?” He answered.
“Whoa.” I replied.
“Oh.” He laughed nervously. “I was talking to my girlfriend. Fuck, I’m sorry.”
“I see.” I had to laugh at the fact that I’d just gone farther with Christian in one phone call than I ever had with Andy.
“So, you coming?” He asked.
I laughed again.
“I mean, to see Andy.” He laughed with me. “This is awkward.”
"Yeah." I said quietly.
He was silent.
“I want to be there for him. I don’t know if he wants to see me. We had a huge fight.” I started talking and soon the words wouldn’t stop. I hate when I do this. “We never fight. But then he said he didn’t love me and that we were just friends. And we are just friends. I would never try to steal him or anything, but we spent the night on the phone and” I shook my head. “He sort of ended our friendship and I sent him all his stuff back, then he called me after he tried to...” My eyes closed and the tears began.
Christian was still silent.
“I love him.” I whispered.
“It’s okay. I love him too.” Christian laughed.
I laughed and wiped my tears away with my sleeve. “I don’t know how he feels anymore. I want to be there and make it better.” I sounded like an idiot.
“If it helps, he told me you always make everything better.” The wind in the background almost drowned his voice out entirely. But that was all I needed to hear.
“I’m nowhere near you guys.” I sighed.
“I have a trunk full of Monster and candy. I don’t need to stop driving.” Was he always this awesome?
“Okay.” I was still unsure about meeting Andy, but I also felt so excited at the thought of it that I couldn’t stand waiting any longer. I gave him my address and started taking everything out of my closet to pick out what I’d wear when I met him.
It me.
12/6/21