Jake's Badass Army

Smirkey shrugged and whipped the lighter at Ferguson’s back, hitting him with an aggressive thud. Ferguson didn’t flinch. Impressive.

Pitts picked the lighter up and noticed Sgt Fuentes was still waiting with his men at the second hill. He smirked at the irony in everybody knowing he’d been assigned ‘the misfits’ and yet everybody was waiting on his men regardless. Pitts and Smirkey had only this in common; they wore their heart on their sleeve and would never win a single poker match because of it.

“Jakey!” Somebody shouted as though he weren’t happy to see him but happy to know he would soon be bullying him.

Only one person called him that name and he shuddered at what he knew would come next. For the first time that day Sgt Pitts stood at attention. In his head the entire universe spiralled inward toward Galactus as he approached his group of soldiers.

Galactus stood before Sgt Pitts, grinning widely. “Sgt Pitts.” He said, but if you replaced his name with the word ‘maggot’ the tone would better match the words. “Smoking now, are we?” He added, dropping the grin and offering his usual holier-than-thou demeanor.

Shit, he forgot to stamp out the smoke. He was pretty sure nothing was wrong with the shine of his boots, the positioning of his helmet, the batteries in walkie or anything else Sergeant Major Sixx could pick on him for. So what the fuck was he standing here for? His chest was close enough that Sgt Pitts could feel the heat rising off him and this was one of the few moments in life he wished he was taller. Whatever, he still had more muscle.

“I see you’ve met Private Purdy.” Sgm Sixx said, stepping back from Pitts and looking at Smirkey. “He giving you the special treatment?” Sgm Sixx made a kissy face at Smirkey.
Smirkey’s face changed in that moment. He went from a non chalant bic tossing asshole to an actual soldier standing in full salute, lining up next to Pitts for inspection.

“At ease.” Sgm Sixx grinned widely again. He liked having control, didn’t he? Neither of the men broke attention. You just couldn’t feel at ease while entire planets swirled into Sgm Sixx’s black hat (Why didn’t he ever wear camo, anyway?) and disappeared forever. “Go easy on him.” Sgm Sixx breathed the words heavily down to Sgt Pitts, the smell of bitter coffee filling the air around their faces. “I’ll be keeping a close eye on how you handle my brother.” He warned.

Notes