I Was So Bitter, Till You Came Along

"Andy, you don't get it! She told me specifically that I'm not physically able to have kids!" I told him through my tears. He nodded.

"I do get it, Casey. I understand what she said, but all I'm saying is that she's wrong. If you're pregnant, then whatever test she took is wrong," he told me.

"What do you mean if I'm pregnant?" I asked. He shrugged.

"I heard that those do it yourself pregnancy tests aren't always accurate. Baby, just let me take you to the doctor, and we can find out for sure," Andy said. I hugged myself, thinking about it. If it turned out to be true, I didn't want it. No amount of Andy's persuasion would make me change my mind. I didn't want the kid, even though I knew Andy did want kids, and that deep down he was excited.

"Fine, but if it's true... I'm getting rid of it," I told him.

"Rid of it how?" He asked.

"Adoption," I said bitterly, and I slipped on my black flats that were by the door. Andy grabbed his car keys, and we headed out. I was very nervous. I didn't want to be pregnant.

We reached the clinic, and Andy and I headed inside, our fingers laced together. We approached the front desk, and I made an appointment.

We were told it would be about a thirty minute wait, so Andy and I headed over to two vacant chairs by the door. I leant my head on his shoulder after sitting down, and I looked around at all the pregnant women in the clinic. They all looked so ecstatic to be here. For what, I wasn't sure. But I knew one thing for sure: this was the last place I wanted to be.

Thirty minutes seemed to fly by, and my name was being called. Andy followed me and my doctor down the hall into an ultrasound room, his hand still latched onto mine.

It wasn't long until I was looking at a very confusing image on the screen. I couldn't see anything. Nothing at all.

"Congratulations, Miss Marie. You're pregnant. Four weeks," she said happily.

"I don't understand. Where's the baby?" I asked. She smiled.

"I had a feeling you'd ask. Right here," she circled it with the mouse, and my eyes watered when I saw it.

"Would you like a picture?" She asked. I nodded, and she printed it out for me. I looked up at Andy, the expression on his face making me feel overwhelmed. He wanted to keep it.

I was handed my picture, and I stood up to leave.

"Um, I have a question," I said. My doctor looked at me smiled.

"I was told a while ago that I actually can't have kids... so how can I be pregnant?" I asked.

"I'm not sure. That's something you'll have to bring up with your doctor," she told me. I nodded, and Andy and I ducked out of there, heading back out to his car.

"Casey..." he said gently a few minutes later.

"What?" I asked, my eyes closed as I rested my head against the window.

"This is something exciting," he said. I sighed.

"I know. But I don't want it and I'm scared," I said.

"Why don't you want it? What's so bad about having a baby?" Andy asked. I opened my eyes and looked over at him.

"Responsibility. I'm not ready for a baby, Andrew. I'm eighteen," I said. He sighed, and I turned my head to look out the window.

"And if you're scared, just know that I'm gonna be with you every step of the way," Andy said.

"What if you're on tour?" I asked bitterly.

"I'm not sure, Casey. But let's not tell anyone until we know that everything's fine, okay?" He asked.

"So you just want me to hide from my brother and the guys?" I asked.

"No. We just won't have them over when you start to show," he said.

"That's gonna be difficult," I said as we pulled into the driveway. Andy put the car in park, and he turned the car off. We both got out of the car, and we headed back inside the empty house. What was I going to do? I've read about labor and childbirth. It sounds extremely painful, and something I don't want to go through. But I'm gonna have to, or get a cesarean section. No thanks. Not to mention that some women are in labor for hours until they're ready to give birth, and that just sounds like pure agony.

"Everything will be okay," Andy reassured me, but I didn't want to believe him. He didn't have to go through hormonal mood swings and morning sickness and contractions, labor, and childbirth. The most he'd be giving up for the baby is sleep and time, bound with an extreme amount of exhaustion. I'd get my period again, and I'd still be in pain while healing, and none of it sounds even remotely fun or worth it. But would giving it up for adoption be worth all the hard work of bringing it into the world? Was I better off raising the kid with Andy? I don't know. I wanted to cry. This was all so difficult.

"C'mon, Casey. Do you want to lay down?" Andy asked me. I was still standing; in the middle of the living room, might I add. I looked up at him, and I shrugged.

"I don't want to do anything," I said. Andy shrugged, and he pulled me into the couch anyway. He went to kiss me, but his phone started to ring in his pocket. He pulled it out and answered it.

"Hey Ashley," he said.

Andy's POV~~

"Hey. You never called back. Is everything okay?" He asked. I glanced at Casey.

"Yeah. Casey just wasn't feeling very good. Nothing a little soup can't fix," I lied. She sent me a grimace before laying down and putting her arm over her forehead.

"That's good. Well, tell her I say hi. And also, Jon literally just called, said we're going back on tour next month on the second," he said.

"Ash, that's in less than a week. Why wouldn't he give us a heads up sooner?" I asked.

"Not sure. Is Casey going with us?"

"Babe, do you want to go on tour with us again?" I asked her. She looked at me, made a face, and shook her head.

"That's a no."

I hope she was going to decide to keep the baby. I really wanted to do this with her, whether she knew it and cared or not.

Notes

Just one more update tonight. :)

Enjoy! <3