"I Got Adopted By Who?!?!"

I am sorry for my werid posting issue. I have had a lot of issues with the inernet.

But I need to talk to you guys. I have been going through some problems. I am worried that I will never be happy again. Ever since I was 4 I have been this depressed kid who hated life. I don't think that is normal. I am scared that one day I won't be able to handle the sucide thought and give in. I don't want that. But I feel like I am holding on to a cliff with my bare hands. I don't know how much more I can tame. I have had many people on here help me. But I don't thinks its enough. I have tried to go to a doctor for this but they keep tell me there is nothing wroung. Just regluar teenage mood swings. But I am not suppost to have these "mood swings" since I was four. I am soo wored that one day my parnets will leave me at home and my thoughts will overwhlem me, and they will find me dead. I am worried at the though of my ten year old brother seeing my sucide not and me dead and lose it. I am araid of what he will tell my parnets. If he will blame them. Which it is. But he is ten he doesn't need to see me od on the floor dead. I am worried that I won't be able to see my girlfrined of here one day. Or my new friend maya. I am soo scared for my life. I don't know what to do. I burst into tears ramdomly. I feel empity sometimes. I feel like I have no porpose. Like if I died you guys would only care and my girlfirned and my maya. I am scarred of my mind. I am so lost. I and soo sad. So alone but so loved by only firend. I am alone inside. I don't know if that makes any sense.

I am writing this to tell you. If I do give in to my thoughts I am sorry. I know some will be sad. So mad. I am sorry in advance.

Notes