Before The Angels Fell

Rileys POV

I couldn't believe what had happened tonight. Andy Biersack told me he loved me... He said the L word and I said it back... And then we... Oh God...
My thoughts were a roller coaster of indecision. Saying 'I love you' made all this seem real, till now it had all felt like something flimsy, that could break at any moment. But now I wasn't sure. I had never been so serious with anyone. No one had ever been this close to me and it scared me because it means that I could get hurt...

I woke to the smell of cologne and tobacco. I thought Andy would still be in bed beside me, but it was only me between the sheets.
Light peaked through the edges of the blinds allowing me to see the mess of Andy's bedroom. I pushed the blankets off myself and got out bed, grabbing one of Andy's over sized t-shirts and throwing it over my naked body.
"Andy?" I called as I walked downstairs.
Silence.
"Andy?!" I called a little louder as I searched the house.
I was alone.
As I entered the kitchen I saw a folded piece of paper on the counter with my name on it.

Riley-
I had to go to the studio. I'm so sorry I forgot to tell you. I'll be back later to take you home. Last night was amazing. I love you.
-Andy

At least he hadn't forgotten about me.
I decided to take a shower and clean up our mess a little. There was still smears of black and red in the bathroom and on the bed sheets.

The day seemed to drag on. I did everything I possibly could around Andy's house including cleaning our mess, doing the dishes, doing laundry and putting away clothes. It was almost six and no word from Andy. The fact that he hadn't texted me all day made me worry. Maybe he was expecting me to leave. Maybe he didn't want anything to do with me...
I wanted to shake the thought from my head, but it fit... Andy got what he wanted and is now done with me...
As my thoughts took the dark turn I could hear my phone ringing from the kitchen. I immediately perked up, thinking it would be Andy telling me that he was coming home.
I rushed into the kitchen, sliding on the tiled floor, to answer my phone.
"Hey baby" I said in my cutest voice.
"Oh I didn't realise that was my new pet name" said a voice that wasn't Andy's.
"Oh, Kimber... Sorry, I thought you were Andy" I said, my high wearing off and my darkness returning.
"Why? Isn't he with you?" She asked surprised.
"No, he left this morning. He left me a note saying he was going to the studio, but otherwise I haven't heard from him all day."
"The studio? Are you sure?"
"I'm positive. Why do you ask?"
"Cause I've been with CC all day and he hasn't said anything about going to the studio..."
"But!... Wait... What? You've been with CC all day?" I said shocked.
"Yeah... I kinda invited him back to our place... We spent the night together..." She trailed.
"What?!" I yelled.
"I know. Lucky me. But, hey , what about you? You and Andy...?" She hinted.
"Yeah, we did, but I find it weird that he's not here. I'm having bad thoughts Kimmie."
"Why?"
"Cause what if he's done with me?" I said feeling my face grow hot and tears threatening to fall. "He is not done with you. You told him you loved him, right? And I'm sure he said it back."
"He did, but words are words. It's what you do" I said sinking to the cold hard tiles.
"Babe, give him a chance. He likes you! Why can't you see that?" She said.
"Cause if he likes me, it means I like him and it means I can get hurt..."
"Sweetie, that's life. You have to put your trust in him and take the leap of faith. He'll catch you."
Sometimes I felt like I couldn't talk to Kimber. She didn't understand my life and what I've been through. There's good reason why I don't trust people.
"I'll try" I said then hanging up. I could only take so much of Kimber's wistful crap.
I sat on the floor for a moment longer before I remembered I saw a pack of cigarettes while I was cleaning Andy's closet.
Not a moment later I was off the floor and racing to find the cigarettes.
There they were, left in a draw where Andy had obliviously forgotten. The pack was almost empty, but I pulled one out and lit up in his closet. The toxins filled my lungs and clouded my head. It was the next best thing to anxiety medication.
I made my way outside to the front of his house and slowly smoked every cigarette in the pack. On the last one, Andy's car rolled up onto the driveway.
"Well you look comfortable" he commented as approached me.
"Well, I'm not" I said looking up at him.
Andy frowned. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing. I just hate myself like this" I said taking a drag.
"Well then it's not nothing. Riley, talk to me" he said sitting next to me on the porch step.
"You're gonna think I'm so stupid..."
"I'm not. I promise" he said staring at me with his incredible blue eyes.
I sighed. "Look, what happened a few months ago with my anxiety... It doesn't just go away... I've had trust issues for most of my life and my instinct is telling me to runaway before you do."
"Riley... I'm not going to run away. I'm right here."
"No, you're not! Where were you today?! I wake up, alone! Not the best feeling!" I said getting mad.
"I told you I was at the studio. I was there with Ashley, we were just talking about stuff" he shrugged. "You can trust me Riley. You don't realise how much I've fallen for you."
I sighed again "And I don't think you realise how much I've fallen for you."
"Then we're agreed. We have both fallen in love."

Notes

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I'll love you forever!
-Tina xx