I’m the loner.
That’s what I’ve always been.
A person that is there and everyone know but not necessarily who I am. Though you get allot of people knowing my name because of my mother.
Mrs Anita Mitchel head of the prepatory department of Edward St. bells, an all-girls private school where we have 100% passing rates.
In other words a posh girl’s school for two faced bitches.
And I’m stuck here have been for eight years and doomed for 3 more. Seeing as I’m in year 10 now and having no choice in which school I go to, because my mother wants ‘the best education for me’.
Though I see where she is coming from I would at least like to have some choices in my life.
I’m Jane, Samantha Mitchel, or as my friends like to call me Sam or Sammy.
I have friends but not good friends. I’m an outcast. Though not like the American movies where the outcasts are shoved into bins and have no friends.
I have friends and I don’t get shoved into bins. If that was to happen, the perpetrator would surely get expelled. No it’s just I don’t fit into any of the ‘groups’ in my school.
I’m just a person that’s been left out and is not a person to share their feelings with.
Whilst everyone is hugging and planning what to do over the holidays with their friends, I’m walking down the corridor deciding what type of stories I should read over the holidays.
People are hugging around my I just awkwardly move off and go to my next lesson.
However there has been a case in which the no bullying policy in the school has been broken, though they don’t make it look like that.
During breaks and lunches I’m often the one they pick on. They take my shoes and hide them away from me. That or play ‘piggy in the middle’ with them.
Multiple times have occurred when I end up going to class with no shoes on or just the one shoe. Though the teachers don’t notice they don’t look beyond the makeup caked faces that most or all of the girls wear.
There have even been cases where I went crying home wishing that I could move school. I think my parents were actually thinking about it at one point because I came home and ate an entire pot of ben and jerry’s when I was 12.
Sadly they didn’t go through with it.
But that’s all changed now. Well sort of. I’m not an outcast anymore.
I have a best friend and 2 other close friends. Neenah who is my best friend. I met her in year 9. It wasn’t until year 10 though that we began to get closer as it was near the school year in year 9 that she started to talk to me and I her.
The first time that she came up to me was year 9 when no one would go near me because apparently I had a disease that if they did accidentally touch me they would put in a fake injection in their arms from their fingers.
She said she couldn’t stand somebody being that mean. Soon after we became close friends.
The other 2 Nelly and Scarlet were original friends of Neenah. Scarlet has red highlights in her hair but with a light brown underneath. Her personality was different. She wasn’t afraid to get what she wants and sometimes she was very aggressive about it, making most of the year as well as the school weary of her.
I knew Scarlet before as she was in the school since year 6 we were close friends then but something happened and we drifted apart. I don’t know whether I forgot it or something but I really do wish we were still close. Even now when we are friends we aren’t as close as we were once before.
Then there’s Nelly. Our crazy little blond girl. She’s the youngest of us all. With scarlet being the oldest, then me, then Neenah and finally Nelly Last. Though were only a few months apart from each other.
Nelly is very friendly with guys shall we say though she isn’t a slut or anything she’s just experimental.
Our entire group is different from the school. Were the group that drinks and everything, but then we are just experimenting as any other would.
We are the black dot on the white sheet of the school if you can get that.
So far Neenah has opened my eyes to a completely new would.
I only wear skinnies and dark tops. I wear dark make up allot of the time.
And the best thing that Neenah has helped me with is making me stand up for myself. Or as she likes to put it ‘you now have a spine’.
It’s safe to say allot more people hate me now because I said no to them at one point or another during the course of that last year. Ah well what are they goanna do I know tae kwon do so they can’t exactly try to beat me up.
Another thing that Neenah showed me was a band. This band I have grown to love and am currently my favourite band. They are called Black Veil Brides. Their music has helped me so much.
I doubt that they know that. But to be honest I wouldn’t want them to know. The amount of times I feel guilty for liking their music, as I’m thinking that this music is stopping people from committing suicide or cutting.
I feel bad because I’m not as bad as them and that I shouldn’t be noticed because I don’t have many problems as some people.
For example Neenah used to cut. But she managed to get over it. And I’m pretty sure that black veil brides helped her.
But if I stay in the shadows then I should be fine. After all people still don’t notice me. I can disappear at the snap of a finger.
Let’s just hope it stays that way.