Feathers In A Glass Box

-CC's P.O.V.-

I woke up in the middle of a night because I felt anxious. Andy was sleeping and I didn't want to wake him up even though it feels like i'm gonna run to the bar and get so fucking drunk that I can't remember my name anymore. It just got worse by every minute and it started to feel like I couldn't breathe. It felt like someone is stabbing me or strangling me. I couldn't take it anymore, I got up, dressed myself and went to buy some new razors from the store which was right next door to our hotel. When I came back, Andy was still asleep and I had my chance. I locked myself into the bathroom and sighed deeply. ''This is fucking it..'' I muttered as I took my shirt off. I wanted to press the razor against my flesh and broke everything between my skin and blood. I wanted to see the red and thick liquid run down to my arms and thighs, I wanted to turn so pale that I couldn’t wake up anymore. I wanted to sleep away from the hate, pain, depression and loneliness. I wanted to get away from the whole world. I wanted to close my eyes and never open them again, so I couldn’t see the evil anymore. For the past three years, i’ve done everything wrong. I’ve been too weak to protect myself from the bad things, but it doesn’t matter anymore. I pressed the sharp razor against my skinny arm and broke the skin, feeling the stabbing pain and seeing the blood running down to my arm and dropping to the ground. Being clean was gone now, and my wrists weren’t clean anymore. I started to slash my arm and after 36 painful cuts, I started to feel dizzy. Finally, I got away from the pain, violence, sadness, darkness, loneliness.. I got away from everything, and I felt proud. As wrong as it sounds, I was proud that I could end it all. I felt so fucking sorry for Andy and the others, but I know that they’ll understand. I fell down to the bathroom's floor because of the blood loss and hit my head against the sink. ''Fuck..!'' I accidentally exclaimed. After awhile, I heard a knock on the door. ''CC, is everything okay..?'' It was Andy. ''U-uhmm.. Y-yeah..'' I realized that I forgot to lock the door and I started to freak out. ''Why are you aw---'' Andy opened the door and he was cut off by seeing me, sitting on the ground with my wrists full of cut marks. ''Fucking hell, CC!'' He shouted angrily and in shock. He quickly started to look for the bandage from his bags. ''Why the fuck did you do it!?'' He growled with tears in his eyes as he came back to he bathroom. ''I-i'm so sorry, Andy..'' My voice cracked and I tried not to cry. ''You fucking promised..'' Andy cried as he wrapped the bandage on my wrists. After he got my wrists tied up, he lifted me on his arms and carried me to the bed. ''CC, I know that it's hard but you need to stop it, okay?'' Andy wrapped his arms around my waist as we laid on the bed. ''But it's the only thing that helps..'' I muttered and pressed my head against his chest. ''No, it's not.. You can always talk to me..'' He replied. ''But I didn't want to wake you up..'' I muttered. ''I don't care if you wake me up. As long as you don't hurt yourself'' He lifted my chin and looked me into my eyes. ''Promise me you won't do it again?'' He asked. ''I promise..'' I muttered and moved my face down. ''Remember what you can't do tho promises?'' He kissed my head. ''Why are you talking to me like i'd be a 5 - year old kid?'' I laughed and stroked his stomach. ''I really don't know..'' He replied with a smile. We've been together for 2 days and I can't even describe how much I loved him already.

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