Family Is Forever
I Can't Say Goodbye to My Agony prt 1
I couldn’t wait for tomorrow. I planned to ask her out tomorrow when Perri did the last song. I just hope I don’t slip up with her. I don’t want to hurt her. I’m going to break up with my current girlfriend. I didn’t love Kina anyway. She was a sl*t to be honest. I’m hoping that I was able to protect Dakota from her past and mine. I just don’t know if I can.
I look down at my tattoos. One of them hid scars. It was just once that I cut. The reason was people wanted to give me living hell that day and I snapped. I promised never again after that.
I had the whole day planned for tomorrow I just hope nothing ruins it.
Tomorrow I was going to a Christina Perri concert with front row seats and backstage passes. Ashley Purdy is my favorite person right now. I just hope…never mind. I’m just setting myself up for failure. He probably just wants to be friends or-Anyway next topic please.
“Hey Ivy we got to go to sound check. Want to come?” I looked at a hyper CC and shook my head going back to sulking.
He jumped over me and pulled me up. “Aww come on please?” I shook my head again not wanting to go anywhere at all.
Jade came in with full warpaint on and an awesome outfit. “Dakota Ivy Caramel you need to stop sulking around. I know your hurt and scared right now but this has to stop.”
“No.” I crossed my arms and grabbed my bottle of beer. CC tried to take it out of my hands but I bit his wrist. “Not in the mood Coma.” I snapped out at him.
He put his hands up in surrender and back away. “Okay okay. I’ll be outside then.” He ran off the bus and we heard a few crazy fans.
“What’s going on with you Dakota?”
“Jade I seriously don’t want to talk about it.”
“Like h*ll you won’t. Tell me Dakota!” She was getting louder and I hated it.
“No!” I raised my voice to match hers. This was going to be a battle and I am going to win the battle for dominance in this argument.
“I’m not going to beg Dakota. I’m trying to help you! We both heard the door open and close but we didn’t care. I could see her hands shaking and I knew I was pushing but I didn’t care. “Tell me what the h*ll is going on with you!”
“Life!” I screamed.
“Cut the cr*p now. We both went through h*ll! Sam and I are here for you and d*mn know that so stop sulking and try to deal wi-ve become“
I snapped and I started yelling at the top of my lungs. “Deal with it? You expect me to deal with it? I’m still anorexic, my smoking has gotten worse, my drinking has too, and I’ve been cutting and burning myself nonstop lately because I can’t deal with anymore cr*p! I can’t deal with it anymore. I blame myself for my mothers death, I blame myself for my brothers death, H*ll I don’t even know if he’s dead or not. blame myself for both of my boyfriends death, My best friend died because of me too! I think I belong in a crazy hospital because anything I see I imagine myself killing myself or someone else with it. I hate myself to no end. Every time I step in that bathroom or go to bed I have to force myself to not think negative. You may be able to save me from my past but you cannot save me from myself. I bully myself. I HATE myself All the haters out there, they’re right about me. My Facebook and twitter has been hacked and now people are bullying me on there. And everything they say is right Jade. Every single hateful comment is the truth.”
She swallowed hard and punched the wall. “You swore you would stop!” She bellowed at me. “You swore to me Dakota. I can’t believe you!”
“I’ve gotten into other crap too! Cra-“
“You wouldn’t dare do that. I know you and know you wouldn’t do that to yourself.”
“Well then you don’t know me at all then Jadelyn Thomas.”
“Give me every blade, cigarette, lighter, and anything else you have NOW!”
“LIKE H*LL I WILL! YOUR N MY MOTHER! NO ONE CAN TAKE HER PLACE! NOT YOU, NOT SAM, NO ONE!” That’s when Jade slapped me.
I attempted to punch her in the mouth but she blocked me so I kicked her legs out from under her. Before I could do anything though Sam had me by the waist and threw me back onto the couch and helped Jade up. “Jinxx go take Jade outside so she can cool off. I’ll handle Kota.” Jade followed Jinxx and slammed the bus door shut.
That’s when I burst. Everything I’ve held in for years just flooded me and I cried. I started punching the pillows, screaming and cursing random names of people who ever tried to hurt me. It seemed like hours before I stopped crying because I couldn't cry anymore. I was emotionally drained.
All the while Sam and Ashley held me. I drew in a shakily breath. “Thanks.” Sam drew me into a hug. “Is all that you said true. Have you really just hid the fact that your still anor-“
“And the cu-“
“And the other stuff?” I couldn’t answer all I could do was just nod. “Why?”
“Life, it’s chewed me up and spit me out so I can burn in h*ll. I hate life Sam, I just want to die right now. God you have no idea how much I want to die.”
This time it was Ash who spoke. “I know your life’s been f*cking cr*p and it’s hard to shake the past but life is looking up for you. Your beautiful an-“
“No I’m not. I’m terrible.”
“As I was saying your funny and smart and I-I love you. You don’t have to admit anything to me I just want you to know that.”
She shivered and went into the bathroom and Sam immediately followed her. Jade’s Pov“Why the h*ll did she lie to me plus she’s using Cocaine! I am going to murder her. She should know better.” My voice cracked and I a steady stream of tears started flowing. “I HATE her I swear to GOD!” A pair of arms found their way around me.
“Jade. You need to calm down. She’s broken and hurt and she needs you now.”
“I tried to be there for her Jinxx. I tried and she pushed me away. She doesn’t want me around anymore. Trust me I know when she doesn’t want someone around. We’ve never had a fight like that though. I can’t believe that I slapped her though. God. I’m such a f*ck up.”
I could hear JInxx sigh in frustration and I slid down the side of the bus and sat down on the ground, I was now physically and emotionally drained. “Your not a f*ck up Jade. It was pretty d*mn clear you were just trying to help her. You just handled it wrong that’s all. I’m sure she’s pissed right now but she’ll thank you later when she calms down.”
“After she’s done ignoring me for weeks.” I snapped out. “ Trust me i know how she is. She used to date my brother and after cheating on her with multiple girls she told him off, broke up and beat the cr*p out of him, and ignored him for months afterward.” I sighed and pulled my knees up to my chest wanting to die right now for what I did.
“She’ll forgive you Jade because she knows that you were just trying to help her and that’s all that matters. We’ll all be there to help her but your who she needs most because your her sister practically. Go in there and talk to her…calmly.”
“With me there’s no such thing as calm.” I lit up a cigarette and deeply inhaled the smoke and could feel myself relaxing just a bit. “I slapped her though. The last person that slapped her was her d*mn father because she was visiting him. She wanted to believe that she still had a father so decided to see him. He got pissed off about something, snapped, and slapped her multiple times.”
He took his sleeve and tried to wipe away the never ending tears. They just didn’t stop flowing. They eventually stopped and I punched the ground splitting my knuckles making them bleed. “What did the ground ever do to you?”
“Nothing I just hate crying.” I shrugged and he took my hand.
“Even when your crying your beautiful you know that.” I tried to stop my heart from swelling up with the love but I couldn’t help it. I looked at him and smiled.
“No let’s go in and wrap up your knuckles.” I laughed and he helped me up pulling me in for one final hug and we back onto the bus and I ran to the bathroom when I heard crying.
Same thing I need to know who Jade winds up with and couple names. Please?
I got one vote toward Jade being with CC any others?
I hope you enjoyed this chapter and part 2 will come later tonight or early tomorrow. :)