Finding Grace

This was incredibly awkward. I stood with Andy and the guys, a huge bonfire burning intensely behind us. MIW music was loud in the background, but I'd heard one song from probably every artist out here.
Andy had his hand in mine, but I was acutely aware that Juliet Simms was at Warped and on the other side of the fire. I wasn't sure if Andy had noticed yet, and it probably shouldn't matter since it was before me regardless.
I still felt a little awkward though.
"Yo, what do you think? Yellow, or blue?" Ashley asked, showing me his phone. I took it from him, frowning down at the colors.
"Neither, they're ugly. Morgan won't like those," I shook my head. Ashley had been "officially" dating the receptionist at our studio for a couple months now, and now he was wanting to buy her some kind of car so she wouldn't take the bus.
Honestly, Morgan would probably die if she knew he was thinking about it. She didn't like driving, she didn't like having to pay insurance on a car or buy gas, and I told Ashley that.
He sighed.
"I don't want her riding with all those people, it's dangerous," he grumbled, slipping his phone back in his pocket.
"I told her she could always come to class with me and Vale," I shrugged. Since the last Romochka episode, I'd taken up a self defense class, and forced Vale to go with me. I refused to be absolutely helpless again.
"Yeah, she'd never go for that."
Andy slipped his arm around my waist, and pressed his lips into my hair absently as he let his gaze drift over the gathered crowd.
This was like a fangirls dream.
I could see Kellin and Vic hanging out with Their bands, and ATL was currently trying to dare Ricky Horror into skinny dipping in the lake not too far away. Ash Costello was picking on Chris Motionless, and I could see Vale and CC in a drinking contest with Fronz from Attila.
Best place ever.
Andy stiffened slightly, and I sighed internally, guessing he'd just seen Juliet.
"Babe, come on," I glanced over as I saw Jake pacing the length of their tour bus, on the phone with his woman, "I'll be able to fly back for a couple days, don't worry. Yeah, I know it's her birthday but she doesn't like me anyway."
"In laws," Ashley informed me. "Happens every year."
"Ah." I looked down into the red solo cup I held; normally I would've already had it downed, but I just wasn't feeling alcohol tonight, something just told me not too.
"Hey, Leah, Andy, Ash-man," Oli suddenly popped up with a grin
. "Hey, Oli," we greeted.
We hadn't seen him since his party weekend, but he looked the same as ever, brown hair curly and that goofy grin on his face that made him look constantly up to no good.
"So how you guys been? It's been months since I seen you!" he said with a slightly drunk laugh; he'd been here way before we had arrived.
"Good. Hey, are you still with Kala?" Ashley asked abruptly, and Oli shook his head.
"Nah, she couldn't handle the band."
"Sucks." Ashley frowned into his cup. "She reminds me of Morgan. I was hoping you guys were still chill."
"Have I met Morgan?"
"No. It's still pretty new."
I glanced up at Andy, seeing his eyes trailed behind me, and I turned, following his gaze.
Well. He was watching Juliet talk to Alex, and I felt his arm flex slightly as she laughed at something Alex said.
I turned away, and slipped from under his arm.
"I'm gonna go talk to Chris," I told him, and strode to where Chris and Ryan were chatting with Jinxx..
"Hey," I popped up beside him.
"Hey, Lee." they all shot me smiles.
So technically I was plotting. I stood beside Chris so I could look around Jinxx and watch Juliet and Andy.
I shouldn't, it was kind of stupid and I knew that, and incredibly immature, but I was doing it anyway.
I half-listened as Ryan talked about some girl he'd started dating, telling the guys just how wonderful she was.
I narrowed my eyes as Andy walked around the bonfire, walking up to Juliet and Alex.
He glanced around to see where I was, I'm assuming, but I'm short and Jinxxs form easily hid mine.
Alex looked startled, then decided to leave, letting the two of them talk alone.
Why was he talking to her? I frowned, tightening my hold on my untouched solo cup, watching as Juliet frowned at him too.
She'd dumped him after he'd admitted he'd cheated on her with a random girl at one of Ashleys parties. He hadn't said why other then he had just been furious with her.
Just like he'd been at me when he'd slept with Clara.
I scowled.
Little Red Riding Hood had turned out to be a real wolf.
"Leah? Hallooo?" Ryan waved his hand in front of my face, and I blinked, turning to look up at him.
"What? Sorry."
"I asked if you were excited for the video to come out?"
"oh. Yeah! I can't wait for everyone to see how awesomely exotic I can look," I grinned. "Andy wanted me to take the genie outfit home."
The guys laughed.
"Talk about something else," Jinxx rolled his eyes. "I really don't wanna hear about your role play. I've already heard all the French a married guy can take!"
"French?" Ryan and Chris looked confused.
I flushed.
"Leah can speak French, okay, and Andy apparently likes hearing it," Jinxx started telling the story of our little bathroom tryst (everyone was supposed to be gone, for one), and I felt my face turn redder.
"Really? How many languages can you speak?" Chris looked interested, and I was glad that's the part he had focused on.
"A couple. I was homeschooled, so I had a lot of time to study," I shrugged, glancing around Jinxx again, seeing Andy relaxed as he spoke with his ex girlfriend. He was probably just making amends with her and it wasn't even a big deal, I told myself sternly.
"Can you cuss me out?" Ryan looked interested.
"Yes, but I'm not going too," I shook my head.
"You should hear it in Russian," Clarke said, stepping over to us. I frowned at my bassist.
"What? It's scary. It's like her inner demon breaks out," he grinned down at me. "Everyone quivers in fear."
"Cuss me out in Russian!"
"Ryan! I'm not gonna cuss you out," I rolled my eyes in exasperation.
"Aw, come on!"
"No!"
"YES!"
"Chris, control your bro," I ordered, and Chris laughed, resting his arm on my shoulder as he finished off his drink.
"Ryan! Control yourself," he ordered with a grin, and I sent him a huffy look. That was not helping.
I glanced over again, seeing Andy and Juliet were starting to walk off, laughing.
And where were they going?
What were they laughing about?
Why was I even worried?
I needed to stop with the where, what, and why.
I trusted Andy, and he wasn't drunk, so there was no worries there.
So stop worrying.
But I always worried, it was one of the few things I did well.
I tensed as Juliet smacked his arm playfully as they went around the edge of the tour buses.
Where were they possibly going? It wasn't necessary for them not to be in public!
Stop it, Leah! Freaking yourself out is definitely not helping.
I looked down at my cup of amber liquid, no longer in the partying mood. Actually, I felt a little sick.
"Here," I handed my drink to Clarke. "I think I'm gonna call it a night."
"Really? You haven't even touched this." he looked surprised, and I shrugged. I had been partying a little hard lately, and I was kind of getting tired of waking up with major hangovers and hiding from the sunlight like it would melt my eyes if I saw it.
Vampire, I was not.
"Yeah, I know, but I'm tired. And sunburned." I faked a yawn. "So I'm gonna go crash."
"Yeah, I'm out too," Chris stretched. "We gotta leave early and I got driving duty. I'll walk you to your bus."
"Cool, thanks," I flashed him an appreciative smile. We started out of the gathering and down the rows of randomly parked buses as we looked for mine.
"You okay?" Chris asked, glancing down at me as soon as we were out of ear shot from the others. "Something happen?"
"No! It just hit me all of a sudden how tired I was," I told him quickly. I didn't want to drag him into any drama that I had played up in my over-excited mind.
I'd completely forgotten my meds this morning, so that's probably why I was freaking out so much. I didn't handle stress well.
Obviously.
I shook my head, and glanced around.
"Oh, there it is!" I spotted the bus.
We started across an opening in the field, and Chris suddenly shoved me forward.
I yelped, staggering.
"What the hell?" I demanded, whirling on him as soon as I got my bearings.
"Uh, sorry, I tripped," he apologized quickly, looking embarrassed. He glanced around, as if looking to see if anyone else saw.
"Well, better get on your bus!" he was suddenly ushering me forward, and I frowned at him.
"Why are you being weird all of a sudden?" I asked, stepping up on the first step.
"I'm not," he blinked at me. "I'm just a little buzzed."
"Are you okay to go to your bus alone?" I asked, generally concerned. What if he got lost or something? Or fell and hurt himself?
"I'm okay," he laughed off my worried expression. "I've been way more wasted and still crawled my way home."
I sighed, leaning against the door as I shook my head. Chris was such a nice guy, it almost weirded me out after all the years of thinking he was kinda intimidating because of his music and intense height.
"Hey, um, you be careful, okay?" he suddenly said, and I frowned at him.
"For what?"
"Just in general, yknow? Warped can be hard on relationships, or just health in general. It's strenuous."
"Yeah, I know." I nodded, still confused. "It's hard, but it's not impossible."
Chris nodded, not really looking at me. I was closer to his height as I stood on the steps, so his frown was very prominent.
"Is everything okay with you and Sabrina?" I asked hesitantly; was he worried about them and needing to talk, or...?
"What? No, we're great," he looked startled. "Why would you ask that?"
"Because you're being weird," I informed him, poking his shoulder. "And I'm not sure why."
"I'm just a little wasted. But hey, I'm gonna head off. Night!"
"Night," I murmured, watching him disappear.
What had that been about?

Notes

Yeah, really, what had that been about?
;)
Sorry for the late update!
I have a lot to do on weekends, so I can't update as regularly as I normally would through the week.