A Thousand Endings

After me and Fin talked over our plan of action I flew back up the stairs and packed with eagerness to leave.Surprisingly he had willingly agreed to leave as well, I know he was trying to hide it, but I could tell he was just as eager as I was to get the ! out of here .I hummed to myself while packing up all the deodorant, our one blanket and our one pocket knife into an old ratty bag we found in war ruins that was once a small town. I smiled to myself as I heard Fin doing the same downstairs with what was left of our food.
I skipped out of the small room kissing it good bye with a big smack of my lips on my hand and flinging the kiss away.Racing down the stairs I jumped off the third to last step, landing with a loud thud at the bottom, causing a billow of dust to fly up from the rotting floor boards and into the air surrounding my legs.I stared at the shimmering specks of dust that were apparent in the sunshine streaming in through a murky window.I smirked at the secret I pretended me and the dust shared, we both loved how the sun made us shimmer.
“Ready?!” Fin yelled at me from the front door, his hand already on the knob, “As ready as I’ll ever be!”
We marched out the door and onto the bare, hard desert-like ground, and flung our packs over our shoulders.Ready to take on the long and sure to be tough journey ahead of us, we walked in silence, our faces serious, but expectant of what we might find in the city, if we even live long enough to get there.Before too long I could feel my face start to twitch, soon a huge grin covered it, small giggles erupting from my throat I looked to Fin.It was contagious, as soon as he saw me he gave in too, we walked on in silently, shared joy all the while smiling like idiots.
Soon our smiles turned to grimaces.

* * *

Hair stuck to the back of my neck, plastered on with sweat.My feet protested with every step I took, I’m sure they were covered in angry red blisters.I sluggishly dragged my legs through the dirt, my eyes no longer looking ahead but down and staring at the cracks that spread over the dry ground like spider webs.My mouth felt without any moisture, we had to ration our water considering we only had brought two gallons collected from the well in old plastic milk jugs, even with rationing it we were already almost out.
It had been five days since we left the little abandoned house, we hadn’t seen anything except dirt, dirt, and you guessed it, dirt.I thought our little abandoned house would have been in at least a fairly close range of another property, but I had thought wrong.We had only stopped for quick rests and to sleep when night came, and still, nothing.Nights were the worst, insects of all kinds came out to feast upon us, and it may have been blistering hot during the day, but at night it felt like we had been stored in a freezer with an air conditioner on high while we took an ice bath.
Fin and I both kept our heads down as we walked, too tired to keep them up anymore and have given up on seeing anything ahead.I threw my arms up and flopped to the ground with a whine, exhausted.Fin grunted and pulled on my arm attempting to drag me along.
“C’mon Den, we have to keep going”.
I sigh and breathe out, talking at the same time, “I can’t”.
He just answers with an exasperated sound. I slap him away while copying the sound and reluctantly get up, my knees creaking.I look down at mydust covered pants, actually my whole body’s covered in dirt, my arms are layered with it, it’s even in my mouth, I lick my dry lips attempting to wet them but it doesn’t really do anything, and make a disgusted frown at the grit I taste.I bet we were a sight to see.
“Why can’t we just stop?” I whine.
“Because we have to keep going”
“But why?”
“We just have too, Hayden!”
I stop, angry with him for yelling. He kept going, stomping as he went and kicking up clouds of dust in the process.I start walking again, speeding up to match pace with him.
“Hey! Fin! You know, you don’t have to act like an !, we’re both exhausted and under pressure here!” I waved my arms while I spoke to make my point.
“Yea well at least I’m not giving up like you! Oh, as soon as little miss Hayden gets tired we must stop! Well I’m not weak! I’m not the one that followed the others and cut myself!I’m not the one that was selfish enough to leave my family behind without even trying to save them! And I’m not the one that wants to give up now!”
Hurt was the only thing I felt.Tears welled up on my bottom eye lashes and slowly rolled onto my cheeks, my face burned from the salty drops on the severe sunburn I was harboring.I turned away so he couldn’t see me cry.His face went white and his eyes big once he’d realized what he’d done, he looked down then up at my face and reached out his arm to me.I jerked away once I felt his touch and lightly rubbed my arm where the sunburn had also made its mark.
I sniffled and tried to hide it with an awkward cough, I began walking again.
“Dennie-“
“No Fin, you shouldn’t have said that, I know that we’re both hungry, tired, and dehydrated, but that was not right.There’s really nothing else to say, you can’t backtrack”, my voice was quiet and rough but it seemed far worse than if I’d yelled.
“I’m really-“
I stopped him again, “Yea, sorry, I know, but guess what…. I’m not the one that cares…” I mocked his show of anger from earlier solemnly.It was obvious he knew that he wouldn’t be forgiven for a while, he had crossed an unspoken line.
We walked in silence till nightfall, and stayed silent throughout our small meal of a few crackers, and then we slowly found sleep through the shivering cold and the thick cloud of insects.Hoping that the small fire, quickly burning twigs collected from dead bushes, will keep us from getting hypothermia.

* * *

I wake up with a gasp, my breath heating the cold air, making little clouds uncurl from my mouth. I unfold myself from the tight ball I naturally formed in my sleep, and raise my hands to breathe warm air into them.My fingers red and puffy barely bend, I rub them together quickly and soon start to feel a tingle spread across my hands as they start to warm up.
It must be early morning, frost from the cold night still lays over the ground like a fuzzy coating, though signs of the frost melting away make themselves known from the sun rising behind the swells of empty land.We slept at the bottom of a hill in attempt to shield ourselves from the deadly night wind.
Crawling on all fours I scurry up the hill to fully watch the sun rise, maybe I can catch a little beauty in this cold blooded world, I glance behind my shoulder at a still sleeping Fin, then back to the sun.My eyes burn from looking at its brightness but I don’t look away, my vision blurs a bit and specks form in my eye sight.One speck in particular has formed right in front of the sun, it’s small and distant but I trick myself into thinking it’s shaped like a building.I release a small, breathy flutter of nonbelieving laughter at myself, there’s no way that could be a building.I squeeze my eyes shut, green spots of light glow behind my eyelids from looking at the sun too long.I open them and look to where the speck was, expecting to see nothing, but staring right back at me was the distant building shaped speck.I rub my eyes, it was still there, I look back to Fin my eyes wide, then back to the speck afraid that if I’m not looking at it for too long that It will disappear.
I run to Fin, bend down, and shake him.
“Fin!Fin!”
He wakes up, his eyes small slits but his mouth open in shock.I grab his hand and tug on him with all my might, my small frame only budging his heavy body, he was skinny form lack of food but still weighed quite a bit, being pretty tall.
“Wha-what?” He half whispered still sleepy.
“Just come!”
He slowly got to his feet, I pulled on his arm till I led him to the top of the hill and pointed at the speck.He gasped and jogged back down the hill, grabbed our bags, threw my bag to me, and started walking at a fast pace.I copied his movements, my eyes trained on the little speck slowly getting bigger, the little speck that will save our lives.

Notes