We arrive in our hotel in Dallas about six hours later. “Ugh I’m beat,” I sigh as I plop onto my bed. I have to be at a Warped manager meeting in a half hour. I am going to avoid that bore fest as long as possible.

“Me too,” Ashley lays down next to me and kisses my forehead. I turn into him and rest my head onto his waiting bicep. He kisses my forehead again while his other hand runs up and down my back relaxing my body and mind. “I love you Annalyse.”

I prop myself up on my elbow so I can look him in the eye, “I love you too Ashley,” I smile. Ashley leans in to kiss me and I happily comply. The feeling of his lips on mine makes my heart flutter and makes me want more. I pull the back of his neck so he’s closer, and he rolls on top of me. The pressure of his body on mine is heaven. His hands find their way under my shirt, gripping my waist and making my heart rate pick up. Ashley slowly moves his hands up my stomach just as John’s ringtone sounds on my phone. “Ugh I’m sorry I have to answer that,” I groan against his lips. Ashley sits up so I can get my phone out of my pocket, but he keeps a reassuring hand on the small of my back. “Hey John.”

“Hey, have you guys landed yet?” John sounds like his super chilled out self, and I can just picture him lounging by the pool already.

“Um yeah we just got up to our room,” I reply.

“Alright I was just making sure, I’ll see you in twenty.”

The line goes dead and I groan into Ashley's shoulder. “Ugh I don't wanna.” I go to get up, but Ashley's strong arm stops me.

“Hey,” he pauses and looks deep into my eyes. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” I smile.

“Now give me some sugar,” he gives me his best Elvis grin, and I giggle when I lean in to kiss him. “You're not leaving,” he chuckles as his grip tightens around my waist.

“Ashley I have to go to my meeting,” I laugh against his lips.

“No you're not leaving,” I love it when Ashley acts cute like this. It makes me fall in love with him all over again.

“Ashley I have to go!” I smile.

“Fine…” He pouts.

I giggle and place a sweet kiss on his lips. “I love you cowboy.”

“I love you too Rose.” I leave the room feeling light and airy, nothing can ruin this mood.

I meet John in the lobby and we both walk to the conference center together. I step inside and I'm awestruck. There are so many people that I've never met before, and they all look so cool and professional in their suits. I can't help but notice that I'm the only woman in here. “Come on,” John says, “let's go sit with Chad.”

“With who?”

John chuckles and gives me a light hearted pat on the shoulder. “I'll introduce you two don't worry.” Still smiling he leads me over to a strong looking man in a black suit. His salt and pepper hair is cropped close to his head and his eyes have a smile in them even though he is not smiling at the moment. He is scrolling through his phone intently before John interrupts him with an easy greeting. The man turns his head and his whole face erupts in a smile. “Hey john how have you been?” He stands up and offers John his hand.

“Can't complain,” Johan replies, “how's the wife?”

“She's good, she and the kids are going to meet up with me in Portland in a few weeks.”

“That sounds fantastic. Have I introduced you to Laci yet?”

Chad’s smiling face turns to me, and I can tell that he lives somewhere sunny from his golden complexion. “No I don't believe you have.” He puts his hand out for me and I take it. We shake hands firmly as he introduces himself. “Chad Hastings, nice to meet you.”

“Laci O’Conell, the pleasure is all mine.” He releases my hand and gestures for us to sit with him.”

“So tell me Laci,” he rests his hands on the table and looks into my eyes. “Tell me about yourself.”

“Well, I'm the manager of Falling In Reverse. I also do lighting and sound for them and Black Veil Brides.”

“Lighting and sound,” Chad nods with approval. “And a manager?”

“Yeah, it’s what I went to college for.”

“Those two things take up an incredible amount of time. Do you have a life?” He smiles.

“Barely,” I laugh. “I like staying busy, and I love all of these aspects. This is my life.”

“Fair enough,” Chad chuckles.

I see Alan Roth hop up onto the stage. The Warped Chairmen stands behind the podium and taps the mic to get our attention. “Okay gentlemen, and lady,” he shoots me a look and I giggle a little bit. “Welcome to the 2013 Warped tour!” Applause and cheers echo through the room. Alan waits for all of it to die down before talking again. “Alright, I’m just going to go over all of the rules and procedures of Warped. If you have any questions please feel free to shoot me a text or email.”

Everyone in here looks like a seasoned professional. I feel so out of place. This is only my second tour with this band. I feel like my inexperience is just seeping from my pores.

Alen finished talking about the rules in twenty minutes. Now John is dragging me around to me everyone in here. Right now we’re talking to Brandon, the manager of Bring Me The Horizon. He seems really nice and laid back. John ends the conversation and drags me off to another man in a suit. “Hey John,” The man smiles. Like every other guy in here, he is in a black suit and has short hair.

“Hey Malcolm.” They greet with a handshake before John gestures to me. “I want to introduce you to Laci.”

Malcolm turns to me and offers his hand; like he did with John before me, we shake hands. “Hello Laci. Malcolm Smith, manager of Breathe Carolina. Who are you here for?”

“I’m the manager of Falling In Reverse. I do lighting and sound for them and Black Veil Brides too.”

“Oh yes, I’ve heard about you,” he smiles.

An uneasy feeling spreads through my stomach. “Have you?”

“Yes, you’re the one who’s dating Ashley Purdy right?” There’s an interesting tone to his voice, like he’s trying to cover up something less than amiable.

“Yeah, we’re actually engaged.” I can’t help but smile when the words leave my mouth.

“Congratulations,” He smiles but it doesn’t spread to his eyes. “But don’t you think that’s a little unprofessional?”

“I’m not the manager of his band, I’m just crew,” I try to sound polite but some of the annoyance seeps through.

“Oh yes of course,” he gives me a look that says I’m going to blackmail you. “You do lights for them yes?”

“Yes…” I don’t like where this is going. I turn to john but he’s not here. I scan the room with my eyes and find him talking to someone.

“Well, have you ever thought that the fact that you two are romantically involved played a role in getting your job?” He’s talking down to me like I’m five. I feel a warm rush of anger fill my chest.

“I got this job before anything happened between the two of us.” I try my best to keep a friendly facade, even though I am enraged. “They were in a jam and John asked me if I would be interested.”

Malcolm has a conniving smirk on his face. He is trying to demean me. “I see, I see… You know, management is a pretty male dominated field. I’m surprised you’ve lasted this long.”

I should just leave, but a huge part of me wants to make him see me differently. My feet stay planted in place, and I look up at him with defiant filled eyes. “Gender has nothing to do with this. I am more than qualified to have this position.”

He lets out a malicious chuckle. “You’re full of yourself aren’t you.” His cold eyes lock with mine. “Let me tell you something,” his voice changes to venom in an instant. “Gender means everything. Think about it. They’re on a bus more times than not.”

“What’s your point?” I make no effort to keep the malice out of my voice anymore. I can’t believe what I’m hearing.

“My point is that men have needs, and you’re just along for the ride… if you know what I mean.”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me,” he growls. “You’re nothing more than something to fuck.” All of the air leaves my body. I’m so angry that tear well up in my eyes. Don’t you dare cry! “Your qualifications mean nothing. Women can’t do this job. Especially someone as weak and provincial as you.” He looks down at me triumphantly. I try to come up with something that matches the sting of his words, but all I can do is turn on my heel and walk out.

How could he say something like that? He just met me. “He has a point though…” No. No that voice can’t be back. “I’m back babe…” I step into the elevator and punch in the 3. Just don’t think about it Lace, you’re fine now. “Not for long…” I can hear the chuckle in my inner demon’s voice and it make me sick. “You’re a whore Annalyse. That’s why you’re on tour with them.” No, no you’re wrong! “You’re nothing but a stupid, easy girl. That’s why Ashley keeps you around. He doesn’t actually love you.”

The elevator door opens and I rush out. “You can’t out run me. I’ll always be here for you.” I slide my room key through the slot and walk inside. Ashley isn’t here. See? He left you already. I can feel the dull ache in my chest that accompanies this voice. Just breathe. “No don’t breathe, you’re wasting valuable oxygen. You don’t deserve to live Annalyse.” My head feels like it’s going to explode. I wish this would stop. “You know how to make me go away Lace…” An image of me slicing my thigh plays through my mind. It brings me to my knees. “It’s not like you matter anyway… If you offed yourself right now, the only person who would care is the poor maid that would have to clean up the mess you made.”

A sob leaves my lips. I cover my ears to block the voice out. “Now now Lace, you know how to make me leave…” I look into the bathroom and see my razor sitting on the sink. I start crawling to it. “That’s a good girl…” I reach up, and set the razor on the inside of my forearm. “JUST DO IT YOU WORTHLESS SLUT!” I cry harder, and add a little more pressure to the blade. I can’t deal with this anymore.

Notes

Yes I know the manager names are wrong, but I'm too lazy to look them up. Anyway, I'm back! My schedule has opened up so much so I'm going to be able to update so much more frequently! (Woot Woot!) Thank you all so much for reading, rating, and subscribing. I never thought people would actually read my stuff. I'm going to stop blabbering now because it's probably getting annoying. Have a good night loves! <3 ;)