My Fallen Angel

Oh dear god.
I winced.
I knew she wasn’t going to be pleased.
That’s why I went ahead and called her instead of waiting to mention it when I got home.
“Well, you know, it’s when, we sort of, go on tour, for a couple months,” I hedged, glancing over at the guys; Jinxx was on his laptop in one of the studio couches, while Andy and CC were sprawled on the couch, making fun of drumming techniques from the looks of it. Jake was talking to the producer.

“I know what it is, Ashlandil.”

Oh Jesus.
“It’s just for a month, yknow.” I sighed, fidgeting. “Like June to maybe August ---.”

“A month!?”

Jesus.
I sighed. “Ken, come on. It’s a month.”
“But I’m pregnant, Ashlandil,” her voice sounded slightly panicked. “I don’t know how to do this ---.”

I grimaced, letting the phone drop slightly as she went on a rampage; well this was nothing new, I was waiting for the tears.
“Kenna not pleased?” Jinxx asked, not even looking up from his laptop.

“Nope.”

“Well, it is bad timing,” CC said after a moment, tightening his bandanna around his hair. “Like, she’s sort of, yknow, having your kid and all.”

Andy glanced at me.
“Yeah, it does suck. But it’s only a month, and she’s not due till October.”

“Are you even listening to me!?”

“Shit, yes, I’m listening,” I hastily jerked the phone back to my ear. “We’ll talk about this at home, okay? I just wanted to give you a heads up.”

Kenali made a frustrated sound, and I winced as I heard the dial tone in my ear.
Well.
This was going to be interesting.
“Ah, the joys of having a pregnant girlfriend,” Jake chuckled as I turned around to look at them. “She lose a screw?”

“More like ten,” I grunted, shoving my phone in my pocket. “But, I figured as much. She just doesn’t want to be alone right now.”

“Which is totally understandable,” CC said, nodding his head as he pecks at his phone. “She’ll be what, seven or eight months by then? You’re missing the worst time of it, man.”

“You’re not making me feel any better about it,” I scowled, throwing myself down onto the couch, propping my feet onto the littered table. “I don’t like leaving her by herself anyway, she’s so... spontaneous. She never tells me when she’s doing anything!”

“She’s kind of an adult, Ash.”

“Yeah, but she’s pregnant! She can’t just run off right now, not telling me where she’s going or who she’s with --- fucking Francis and his stupid ass rehearsals,” I grumbled, rubbing my eyes. “And Jesus, we still have to find a new place to live, too.”

Warped was really going to cut our time short.
I mean, we weren’t doing the entire thing, just about a month of it, altogether; we were still pretty tuckered out from the UK tour.
Still....
I didn’t want Kenali alone.
Not with other angels knowing of her pregnancy.
She was a walking target.
And I wouldn’t be around to protect her.
I wasn’t sure what to do.
Would Iriel step up, maybe?
Would he watch over her while I was gone?
Though, honestly, I wanted nothing more then for the righteous old windbag to hop on a boat back to a different continent, he pissed me off.
I didn’t take orders from anyone, anymore.
I rapped my fingers against my knee.
Fuck.
This sucked.
Kenali was going to murder me when I got home.
I mean, it was just a month.
A month.
It wasn’t like the world was going to end in just one month!
Right?
Well... shit.
I couldn’t do it.
I couldn’t leave her by herself, I had to be there for her.
She was having a baby!
“Do we have to do Warped?” I asked after a minute, growing nervous. “I mean, we did just get off from touring. It’s not set in stone that we have to play Warped.”

“It’s to promote the new album, dude,” CC frowned at me, his phone lowering into his lap. Andy was sitting between us, doing his best to ignore me;
Sorry, dude, I got the woman in the end, you’re just going to have to deal with it.

I might be an asshole, but at least I was a loyal one.
I didn’t sleep around on her with someone else, knowing how much she cared about me.
Well, I mean, I did, but that was different.
I had to, she knew.
It was complicated.
“We can’t skip the end of Warped,” Jake said after a second, his face hesitant. “You know we can’t.”

“We can promote the album without having to go halfway across the country,” I scowled. “Now’s really not a good time.”

“It’s not our fault your girlfriend is pregnant,” Andy muttered.

Oh, you fucker.
No.
I turned to glare at him, narrowing my eyes; he was the exact reason she was pregnant, and the reminder only made me want to slam his pretty face into the coffee table a couple times for good measure, even more so when I remembered him putting his hand against her.
And that must have been in my expression.
Because he was suddenly getting to his feet, stepping by CC and leaving the room.
I.
Would.
Break.
Him.
“You guys can’t keep fighting, y’know,” Jake sighed, rubbing his face. “This is getting fucking stupid, Ash.”

“He’s the one being an asshole!” I snapped in return, huffing as I crossed my arms defensively. “We were fine until he went all Rocky and fucking hit her!”

All the guys winced at the reminder.
“Dude, he didn’t... we don’t know what that was about,” Jinxx muttered, looking uncomfortable. “He hardly remembers it.”

“Yeah? Well, I sure as shit remember it! And so does Kenna! She had a bruise the size of Canada on her face!”

“We’re not saying what he did was okay, Ash,” CC shakes his head. “We just don’t know what happened, we weren’t there.”

“So are you saying it was Kenna’s fault!?”

“What? Hell no! Of course it wasn’t her fault!” He looked horrified. “She didn’t deserve that at all!”

“Then what the fuck are you saying?”

“I’m not --- fuck, Ash, just calm it down, alright? There’s no point in being an asshole to him all the time!”

“Are you fucking ---- seriously!? He’s the one who made the shithead comment, not me! Stop defending his ass all the fucking time just because he’s the lead singer!” I shouted, rising to my feet. “Fuck all of you guys!”

“Ashley ---.”

“No, fuck off!”

I could hear Kenali the second I stepped into the apartment.
“Kenali?”

She didn’t respond, and I sighed, following the sound of sickness to the bathroom in our bedroom, the door closed. I rapped my knuckles against it.
“Baby, are you okay?”

“I’m fine!”

“Do you need anything?”

“... No.”

She was mad.
Usually she was all cuddly when she was sick.
“Have you eaten today at all?” I sighed. “Food wise?”

“Yeah.”

“Ahuh. And what about ---?”

“Of fucking course not, Ashlandil!”

Jesus.
Touchy.
I scowled, and then nudged open the bathroom door, her back to me as she leaned over the toilet, hair in a messy bun as she empties what little contents her stomach had into the bowl.
Poor love.
I sighed as I crouched beside her, rubbing gentle circles along her back. “It’s alright, this part won’t last forever.”
Her face doesn’t raise from the bowl, although she wasn’t gagging anymore.
Which had to be a good sign, right?
And should we talk about earlier? About the month of Warped?

Should I let it go?
Probably.
I might need to just not mention it for a while.
Or the fact I told all the guys to go fuck themselves over it, either.
Well, mostly Andy, but she didn’t need to know that either.
Fuck.
I handed her a wash cloth as she raised her head, seeing her grimace.
“I hate being sick,” she muttered, leaning into me, and I let my arm wrap tight around her.

“I know, baby, but it’s not forever. It’s just this once,” I told her, pressing my lips into her hair. “Only for a couple more months.”

She doesn’t look comforted.
“So, what are you doing home so early?” she asked after a moment, letting me help her to her feet. “You’re usually about an hour or two later then this.”

“Why? Were you planning on having someone over?”

She rolled her eyes at me.
I chuckled.
“I just took off a little early is all. Morning sickness getting to you?”

“Do you mean every fucking hour of the day sickness? Yes,” she grunts, moving towards the kitchen. “Even at rehearsal.”

“Well, there’s nothing you can do about that. How are those going, by the way?”

“Fine, I suppose. The show ---.”

“Is in a couple days, I know, babe. I’m gonna be there. So are the guys.”

Kenna frowned; she was standing in front of the refrigerator, a carton of strawberries in her hand.
The kid was going to come out looking like one if she kept that up.
“The guys?” she questioned after a moment, her eyes flicking to me. “All of them?”

Oh.
Andy.
Right.
“Uh, I dunno,” I shrugged after a minute. “He bought a ticket, I guess, but I dunno if he’ll have the balls to show up.”

“Ashlan.”

“Well, he’s a fucking asshole ---.”

“Ashlandil,” her tone was warning as she turned to glare at me. “Not right now.”

Ugh.
Fine.
Later then.
I grumbled under my breath as I strode to the couch, throwing myself down on it and reaching for the TV remote.
Something mindless would be nice.
“So, why do you... think Cronus would... do that to Andy?”

Oh.
I glanced over at Kenali, seeing she was staring down at the berry she held in her hand, looking troubled.
Worried about the sperm donor to her baby, huh?
“I don’t know, love. He hung out with Raza and Theda for decades, he was bound to have been influenced by them.”

“But Theda wasn’t a bad angel, Ashlandil.” Kenali mumbled, looking sad. “She just... she was so lost without Raza ---.”

“Raza turned, there was nothing to be done for him.”

“I know that, but I.... I suppose I never imagined she would side with Seraphine after she knew what she was doing, you know? So I don’t know why I’m surprised at Cronus, when I think about it, I just ---.”

“Trusted him?” I supplied after a moment, my arm thrown over my eyes.

Kenali trusted too easily, that was why she was hurt so frequently. She needed to be more careful, not put her faith in so many that didnt deserve it.
But, well, she’d put her faith in me, hadn’t she?
A deviant.
A vagrant.
A demon.
“Yes. He seemed like....”

It’s just because you slept with him.
The biting comment rises immediately to my mind, but I choke it down as soon as it’s thought.
Fucking hell.
Like I of all people could make a comment about who Kenali slept with.
I sighed heavily, and then lift the arm from my eyes, looking over at her.
“C’mere.” I muttered, motioning her towards me, and after a moment she travels in my direction, coming to sit on the edge of the couch.

I tug her closer, pulling her down over me and nuzzling her face with soft kisses, making her nose wrinkle in that cute little way as her chest presses over mine.
“I love you,” I said after a moment, brushing those red curls out of her face as I look up at her, knowing my glamour had slipped and I was revealing my red eyes. “So much, Kenali. I would do anything for you. And I am sorry for what has happened in your time here, the earth is... it didn’t used to be this bad.”

“It’s not all been bad,” she tells me lightly, her fingers caressing my face. “There have been some good moments I wouldn’t trade for anything.”

I smiled slightly, appreciating the comment.
“Well, there might be some moments I would trade,” she suddenly chuckles, letting her head rest against my shoulder. “You were a cranky bastard in the beginning.”

I grinned. “Like you weren’t difficult to deal with. ‘Oh, the magic box ---’, oof!”
“Don’t tease me about that!” she laughs, her face flushing as she smacks my arm lightly. “I didn’t know what it was! And it felt like teleportation ---.”

I chuckled, and curled my arms tight around her, seeing it seemed to sooth her as well.
“You wanna know something funny?” she asked after a moment, trailing her fingers across my shirt thoughtfully.

“Hmm?”

“Today, when I went to the studio, I was in the elevator, and I had the oddest feeling, I couldn’t describe it,” she sighed. “It was like this strange need to protect the child, like someone in the elevator was going to hurt it, when they were all just humans, not even a trace of angel in their blood lines.”

“It’s just your mothering instincts,” I told her, running my fingers through her hair. “Even human females become outrageously protective while pregnant; I’ve seen some women become ten times stronger when it comes to just protecting their young. Some can even lift cars?”

“Really?” Kenali sounded interested. “So motherhood makes you stronger, then?”

“For some, I suppose. Not all mortals are.... not all of them should procreate.”

She wrinkled her nose.
“I know of that. I’ve read on some of the issues, and I’ve seen some awful cases on TV. It makes me wish the world would just end already and stop all of the unnecessary suffering, all the horror. Children are innocent, they shouldn’t be treated so awfully.”

Unless they were born without a soul.
But that was pretty rare.
Or, well, it used to be.
Souls, they weren’t given to a vessel until it was ready to be birthed, and sometimes, well, the vessel just didn’t get one.
I was pretty sure that was why there were so many murderers, so many humans that could be claimed as “monsters”, for all the cruel and horrific things they could do.
And, of course, some souls were just bad eggs.
Look at how the angels had turned out.
No creation was flawless.
Kenali shifted over me, snuggling closer.
“You wanna know something else?” she asked after a moment, and I chuckled, nodding.

“Sure.”

“When I’m around you, that intense feeling to protect the child isn’t as strong.”

Oh really?
I glanced down at her, seeing her burning eyes were looking up at me, bright and violet and just as powerful as they had been in the beginning, if not more so now that she had found her darkness.
“Really?”

“Mhmhmm. It’s like being around you soothes the feeling, because I know you would risk everything to protect us,” her voice is a whisper as she gazes up at me, making a warmth start to rise in my chest. “Because I know you love us so much, and ---.”

I kissed her quickly, my hand rising to cup her cheek, and she gave a soft sigh against my lips.
I’m glad she knew that.
“I love you,” I mumbled.

“I love you too, Ashlan.”

I hoped so.
My lips froze against hers as there was a sudden knocking on the door, and we both look over.
Fucking really, man?
You’re timing was shit!
Who the fuck ---.
“Who is it?” Kenali calls, raising herself off of me slightly.

“Iriel.”

Notes

Hola again from never-updating land!
TAKE THIS ANATHEMA. YOU WANNA KEEP ME FROM ELIZANDY? WHAT ABOUT NOW? FIGHT ME BRO
.
Ahem, anywho.
Also, would anyone like me to make a summary chapter, where I cover most the events that have happened so far so everyone can remember? Anathema made a good point to me, telling me that I can't expect my readers to remember the plot when I take so long between updates, and considering half the time I can't remember, I know how true that is.
So, if anyone is interested, I will make a quick chapter of major plot booms for help!