Make Me Feel Alive

Red, or blue?" I asked Toby, kneeling in the floor. Toby twitched his tail as he looked at me, obviously thinking I was a complete idiot. I
frowned, feeling like one too.
The red dress or the blue one? Honestly, it didn't matter, I suppose. I didn't want to go out tonight.
I sighed, letting the dresses drop into my lap. Ashley was out of town with his concert, and I didn't want to talk or see him anyway.
That's what I kept telling myself.
It was really getting hard to keep calling our relationship casual when he kept being exactly like a boyfriend would, especially acting so possessive in front of people.
And then freaking out when it went all over social media that he might have a girlfriend!
And then freaking out even more that his independence might be taken away and treating me like some side chick he just fucked for fun and didn't want any ties too!
I sniffled, rubbing my eyes.
"Cmere Toby," I lifted him into my lap, and he purred, rolling around in my arms. I stroked his fur, needing some comfort, and noticing he'd lost a little weight.
We'd both lost some weight, and that was my fault. I was trying to cut corners any way that I could, and save some money for the school loans I still hadn't worked out a payment plan for.
I didn't know what to do.
I had never felt so helpless before when it came to paying bills.
They said going to school was a good thing, would help further you in life, but it hadn't done a damn thing for me whatsoever.
Except make everything worse.
I glanced at my phone as it started to ring, and I didn't recognize the number. I swear if it was Ashley calling with a different number I was going to punch him.
"Hello?" I answered warily.
"Is this, um, Morgan?" a hesitant voice asked, and I frowned.
"Yes, who is this?"
"Oh! It's Jaime, we met at the bar the other night? Ashley gave me your number, I hope that's okay."
Dammit, Ashley.
"It's fine. The kids in the band, right?"
"Yeah. Look, I don't know if you can, but our meeting at Ashleys label fell through, and he said you worked at Starling Studios, and... Well, can you help us out? Maybe get us a meeting with one of your producers?"
I hesitated; I probably could.
"I can check the scheduling and see if I can squeeze you in," I said after a moment. "But you can never tell that I did or I could lose my job."
Which is seriously not something I needed right now.
"God, that would be awesome! And don't worry, we'd never say anything."
"Ahuh. Well, I'm not going to make any promises, but I will give you a call if there's an opening!"
"Okay, that sounds great! Thank you so much," the kid sounded so excited.
I smiled.
"No problem, Jaime. Hey, I gotta go, but I'll call you."
"Ok. Oh! And Ash told me to tell you he's sorry about the thing?" Jaime sounded confused. "That had to do with the thing?"
Er.
"Huh, alright. Bye, Jaime."
I hung up quickly before he asked any questions.
Well, now he was sending messages through kids.
I could probably add giving my number out to the growing list of things I was mad about, but it really didn't bother me all that much. I sighed, rubbing Toby again.
"What do you think, Tobster? Should we forgive Ashley for being an asshat, huh? Do you miss him too?" I cooed.
He twitched his ears forward.
I was just going to take that as a yes.
Because I know I did.

Notes