America's Suitehearts

It’s been a couple weeks since CC left and we’ve been texting and Skyping each other almost non-stop since which made the days seem to fly away and before I knew it, it was New Year’s Eve. Alex had insisted that I take the night off since I'd been putting in so much overtime lately and seeing how I'd had quite enough of my family at Christmas, I decided to call up my little gang of fellow misfits and invited whoever didn’t have plans already over to do what we do best, which was be total idiots.
"BOW TO ME PEASANTS!!" Declared Chris, who was debatably the biggest idiot out of all of us, from atop my coffee table. He was a laid-back film major and basketball player that owned the seemingly last pair of Heelys on earth whom I had met towards the end of our senior year of high school, right after I moved back to Texas.
“Hey! Sit your ass down before King Ray has you tried for treason!” Aubrey shouted as he kicked the table, making Chris wobble and fall back onto the sofa where some of my other friends were sitting which in turn, made me laugh like a dork. Sitting to my right was Aubrey, a scrawny, reddish-haired guy who wore tons of bracelets, earrings, and necklaces and worked at the campus bookstore; next to him was Stuart, a chubby guy with insane art skills that was in my English class whom I often used as a human pillow during particularly boring lectures. Then there was his Imperial Majesty, Ray, a man with hair that could compete with Legolas’ and has said maybe two full sentences since I’d met him that we declared our king and overlord in response to someone referring to him as the ‘king of the emos’. On my left was Nadia, who was arguably the most normal of us despite the fact that she once wore Spock ears to school just because she felt like it, and next to her was Jay, a super short guy that had a slightly concerning obsession with wolves and was currently living with Aubrey since they both got kicked out by their parent(s) (Jay’s mom freaked the fuck out when he came out as bisexual and Aubrey’s devote catholic parents basically disowned him when they found out he identified as Pagan).
“I’m going to get you for that!” growled Chris as he hurriedly sat back up
“Oh yeah? How?” taunted Aubrey
“I have my methods…” replied Chris as he sneakily reached into his pocket
“The sexual tension increases…” Jay mutters into his beer, making Chris and Aubrey pause their mini feud to respectively glare and give intense eye rolls to him while the rest of us sniggered. Note to self: Demand that Alex and Aubrey have an eye rolling competition for science. Chris, noticing that this was the opportune moment to strike, pulled a confetti popper out of his pocket, aimed, fired, and watched as a shower of glitter and rainbow streamers cascaded over Aubrey’s unimpressed face. He plucked a streamer off of his glasses as he glared murderously at Chris.
“Run bitch.” He snarled before he jumped up, grabbed a handful of the poppers from the center of the coffee table, and ran after him. After about ten minutes, due to a series of unfortunate misfires and Aubrey having really shitty aim, the living room had become covered in confetti, glitter, and the Doritos that Chris had decided to use as ammo which Mikey and Annie were now trying to eat. Nadia and I had taken shelter behind the couch while Jay and Stuart shielded themselves with pillows and King Ray was simply staring at Chris and Aubrey’s mess with the sort of disdain that says ‘God, you are a bunch of weirdos, but you’re my weirdos so I kinda like you.’
Suddenly, my phone vibrated in my butt pocket
CC: WASSUP? :P
I smiled like a dork as I texted back.
Me: Oh, you know, just hiding behind my couch while my friends wreck my living room. Same old, same old. How about you?
CC: Haha Sounds fun! I’m just about to leave this party I was at with Ash and I just got glitter dumped over my head so now I feel like a disco ball
Me:Hehe, are you…panicking at the disco? XD
CC: No…I AM THE DISCO!
“Hey, who are you texting?” asked Nadia while I cracked up over CC’s last text
“Wha-? Oh, uh, nobody…” I lied. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to tell them that I was dating CC, in fact, Chris and Jay would probably scream and piss their pants if they knew and that would be fucking hilarious to witness, but CC and I had agreed to keep my identity under wraps for now and I figured that it would be easier to keep it secret with less people knowing about it.
“Well, the fact that you have their contact name saved as ‘Captain Cutiepie’ says otherwise.” She said with a smirk
“Who the fuck is Captain Cutiepie?” asked Jay as he turned and looked over the couch at me
“No one!” I insisted as I shielded my phone from their view and replied to CC
Me: They’re onto us Captain Cutiepie
CC: Did you really change my name to that?
Me: Yep
CC: Good girl
“Hailey who are you texting?!” Jay shouted in a high pitch screechy voice
“I’m not telling you!” I shouted back
“Is it your…BOOOOYFRIIIIIEND!!” teased Nadia, making my cheeks warm up
“Holy shit, look how red she’s getting! It really is her boyfriend!” exclaimed Jay which made Chris and Aubrey call a ceasefire
“Whoa, when did that happen, Hailz?” asked Aubrey as he joined Jay on the couch
“Who is this guy? Does he go to our school?” asked Chris with his arms crossed. Chris has basically been like a big brother to me since we met, making it his sworn duty to scare the crap out of all the guys that made it past the first date with me. He didn’t have to do it very often.
“Chill out, bro, he lives in California.” I said as I kept texting CC
Me: God these guys are nosy, how about I just call you once they leave so we can talk in peace?
“Hey! We’re not nosy!” said Jay as he pouted
“STOP READING MY TEXTS!”
CC: Aww, but I miss my baby girl :(
"Does he seriously call you ‘baby girl’? Who the fuck is this guy? Christian Coma?” snorted Chris as he loomed over me. FUCK! My heart stopped for a second, but I quickly got over it.
“Yes, Chris, you cracked the code, I’m TOTALLY dating an international rockstar, because that could SO happen to me, and I’m keeping it secret from everyone I know because the world isn’t ready for our combined insanity. Wow, how did you ever figure it out?” I said with a near lethal amount of sarcasm. It technically wasn’t lying since it was all true, but it still made me feel a little bad. Chris scoffed and rolled his eyes while Jay laughed his ass off.
“The sass is strong in this one!” Jay laughed
“It was a joke, God, don’t be a bitch about it…” Chris said as he crouched down to my level but I was too busy replying to CC to pay much attention to him.. “…or else I just might do…” then, just as I hit send, he snatched my phone out of my hands “THIS!”
“YOU PIECE OF SHIT!” I yelled as I stood up and tried to take my phone back from him, but he held it above his head where my short ass couldn’t reach it. God fucking damnit, why am I so short?
“Let’s have a little chat with this Captain Cutiepie, why don’t we?” he chuckled as he started typing
“Chris, this isn’t funny!” I pouted. He better not send him something weird.
“Hell yes it is!” laughed Jay as Chris took a selfie on my phone and sent it to CC. “Hey! I want a turn now!” he shouted as I tried in vain to get my phone back. Chris threw it over my head to Jay.
“Stuart! Help me, please?” I begged
“Hmm…I don’t know, what do you think I should do, your Excellency?” said Stuart as he turned to King Ray for counsel. Ray looked over at Jay, who was now standing on the sofa and taking a video of himself moaning ‘Fuck me, senpai!’ and ‘Fist me, daddy!’ while Aubrey stood in the background rubbing his nips,( So much for not sending him anything weird ) then looked back at Stuart and shook his head with a grin. “KING RAY HAS SPOKEN!” he declared. I groaned in defeat but then, a wonderful idea came to me. I smirked as walked very deliberately into the kitchen and pulled a plastic container from the top of the fridge. I leaned against the counter and faced them as I opened it up. All of them shut up and looked at me, knowing what that sound meant.
“Ar-are those…?” asked Chris as he stared intensely at the container in my arms
“Caramel butterscotch cookies? You bet your ass they are. Baked them this morning.” I said as a pulled a cookie out and pretended to inspect it. Not to brag or anything, but I kinda won first place in my high school’s baking competition three years in a row.
“You’re gunna share those right?” asked Jay with wide eyes
“Hmm, I don’t know, I think I’m just SO distraught over having my phone stolen that I might just eat them all myself.” I said before taking a huge bite out of my cookie. Jay and Chris both stared intensely at me, probably trying to determine if I was bluffing or not. Aubrey, however, didn’t seem to want to risk it.
“FUCK Y’ALL, I WANT COOKIES!” he shouted as he quickly jumped onto the sofa, snatched my phone from Jay, jumped over the back of the sofa, and then ran into the kitchen to give it to me.
“Thank you, sweetie.” I said as I took my phone and handed him the cookies. While everyone else started badgering him for a cookie, I checked what all they had sent CC. Chris had sent him Liam Neeson’s ‘I will find you and I will kill you’ threat from Taken along with a very angry selfie and Jay had sent him that video of him being a creep. I groaned and texted him that I was now back in control of my phone, hoping that he wasn’t mad or anything.
Me: Hey, I got my phone back, sorry about my weird ass friends
CC: Nah, it’s fine, I’m just glad I got my baby girl back <3
Me: Awww <3
God, I love it when he acts like a sweet little dork.
CC: But our Uber driver is giving us weird looks because of that video though and Ashley is thoroughly weirded out XD
Me: OMG
CC: Also, why didn’t you tell me that you were friends with Liam Neeson?
Me: Haha, that would be Chris
CC: What? You know another Chris? WE MUST BATTLE SO I CAN BECOME THE ALPHA!!
I laughed so hard that I snorted which made everyone look at me again. After explaining what was so funny, Chris instructed me to arrange this battle the next time he was in Texas.
Me: Chris has accepted your challenge and wants to know when you’ll be back so this battle may take place
CC: Haha, you may not want us to battle the next time I’m over there because according to our schedule, that’s going to be right around Valentine’s Day ;)
My heart did a backflip. I’ve never had a date on Valentine’s Day before! FUCK YES! This is going to be my year!
Me: Seriously? On the for realsies? I can haz Valentine? :D
CC: Yes, you can haz all ALL the Valentine, you adorable little dork XD
Me: YAY!
“HAILEY! STOP TALKING TO YOUR BOYFRIEND AND GET THE CHAM-PAG-NE READY!!” shouted Chris. He always used to mispronounce the word champagne to annoy his parents, but now I think he’s done it for so long that he’s forgotten how to actually pronounce it.
“King Ray grows impatient! FETCH HIM HIS GOBLET!” commanded Stuart. I cocked an eyebrow at Ray who shrugged confusedly as if to say ‘I don’t even know anymore, this guy is taking his job as royal assistant WAY too seriously.’ I rolled my eyes at Stuart then tucked my phone into my pocket and went about getting our lavish $3 champagne and plastic cups ready. Ah, the life of a college student is truly one of affluence. After everyone had their drink, Aubrey pulled up the countdown on his phone while Jay hovered over my ipod (which was connected to my speakers) ready to press play on New Year’s Day by BVB. Just before we started counting down, I sent CC one last text.
Me: See you next year! :*
CC: See you next year <3

Notes

Yay! I finally got to update! I'm sorry it's been so long guys, schoolwork has been a real bitch these past few months and honestly working on this chapter between projects is one of the only things that's been keeping me sane lately.
Anywho, I hope you've all had an awesome Thanksgiving and that you like this chapter!