Will I ever love you?

“I’m so sorry” I cried to Andy,
“it’s not your fault” he argues, tears streaming down his face,
“I just wanted a family, I wanted to give you children, I thought we finally did it right” I cried,
“babe, it’s okay, it’s not your fault” he said, kissing my forehead as the cab pulled up to the bus, everyone was waiting up for me and Andy,
“are you okay?” ash said, but I couldn’t even talk, I went to the bathroom and turned the shower on, my old habits all flooding back to me, I grabbed my razor, ripping it apart, and slicing my arms, legs, stomach, I don’t know what came over me, but something changed, I didn’t want to be here anymore, I felt like I couldn’t give Andy what he wanted, I couldn’t even have a baby, I screwed it up seven times,
“babe?” Andy said from the other side of the door, and the harsh reality of what I did came floodingback to me,
“blaze?” Andy said again, before he burst thru the door, opening the shower curtain,
“oh my gosh” he said, picking me up,
“ash! Call an ambulance” he yelled,
“no! I’m fine!” I said,
“blaze? Talk to me, don’t do this, I can’t lose you” he said,
“I just talked to you” I said,
“please” he cried, holding me tight,
“Andy?” I said, nothing. Maybe I wasn’t talking, maybe I was just thinking, I tried again and managed to hear myself grunt,
“GOD DAMN IT BLAZE!” he screamed,
“don’t do this” he said, before everything went black
-
My eyes fluttered open, a blinding light causing sharp pain to my eyes,
“oh my god, don’t ever fucking do that again” Andy said, latching on to me,
“wha- where am I?” I asked, looking around, seeing the all too familiar hospital which I was just in,
“I love you so much” he cried,
“I almost lost you” he said, rubbing my head,
“say something” he cried,
“I’m sorry” I said, a nurse came in and asked me a bunch of questions then cleared me to go home, as long as I was under close watch 24/7
“babe” Andy said, rubbing my back,
“I don’t want to talk about it” I said, as I laid in my bunk, he just sighed, and went to sleep, I waited for everyone to go to sleep, then I got up, I wrote a note,
‘some people just aren’t meant to be in this world, I know how bad this must hurt, but I can’t do this anymore, I love you so much andrew, more than you would ever know, you might not be religious, but I am, and I will forever be your guardian angel, I hope you find love again someday, and when you do, I will be happy for you, I will always love you, and I hope your music career takes you places you could have only dreamt about, tell johnnie and my mom that I’m sorry, and that I love them, and ash that he was my best friend, jinxx that he was an amazing guy, and I’ll always miss him, Jake thanks for being there for me, and cc, oh cc, thank you for being there for me to laugh with, you made dark days happy, unfortunately I have to go like this, I don’t ever want you to think that any of this is your fault, because it’s not, its nobody’s fault but my own, you see, this world is made up of many different kinds of people, some of which can’t be saved, and some of which don’t want to be saved, I will forever be in your hearts, as you will be in mine, don’t let this stop you from growing, you are young, only 19 years old, I hope that you can be happy all the days of your life, I’m not asking that you forget about me, but remember me in a good way, I can’t tell you enough how much I love you, and how much I will miss you, but someday we will meet again,
XOXO, blaze.
I wiped the tears from my face, as I laid the note on the counter, then I took a knife out of the kitchen drawer, cutting deeply into my arm, it wasn’t long before things began to fade, and then, I was gone.
No one’s POV:
Andy heard a loud thus, and turned over, realizing blaze wasn’t by his side anymore, he jumped out of bed, coming face to face with his band members, they slowly walked into the kitchen, seeing her petite form on the ground,
“no!” Andy screamed, checking her body for a pulse,
“call the police!” he screamed, latching on to her,
“I think you should read this” Ashley said, with a shaky voice, and a shaky hand, giving the tear stained note to Andy, he read the note, and cried even harder, if that was even possible, everyone was in shock, the police, and paramedics burst thru the door, prying the lifeless body out of Andy’s arms. The police tried to ask questions, but everyone was still in shock, no one could even talk,
The tour was canceled, and her body was sent home, back to California, where they held the funeral a few days later,
-
“blaze was my best friend, my wife, no one in the world could have replaced her” Andy said, breaking into tears,
“all she wanted was a family” he continued, but couldn’t say anything else thru the tears, the funeral went on, and then they went to the cemetery, where each family member placed a white rose on her casket, before it was lowered into the ground, everyone went home, and Andy was very distant from everyone for a while, he turned to alcohol, getting drunk by himself every night, not calling any of his band members, not making contact with anyone, johnnie moved back in with Bryan, and blazes mom moves to new York, the pain of living in the house that her daughter once stayed in was too much for her to bare.
-
After several years the band worked out all of its kinks and was becoming very popular, Andy hadn’t forgotten about blaze, she was always there in the back of his mind, the guys had went on tour, and where on their way home when they stopped at a diner, and Andy laid eyes on a girl, she was beautiful, and bubbly, something about her made Andy happy in every way, something blaze had told him to find, it took years before he was able to even think about being with someone, but now, this moment in time, it felt right, her name was Devin, and no one would have thought that this small town girl could make him so happy.

Notes

okay, so if any of you are reading my other story, im sure you are figuring out that these two are about to tie in together, if you are not reading my other story, go check it out, because even tho it is titled "The End" its not quite over yet,

http://www.blackveilbridesfanfiction.com/Story/71005/good-girl/

thank you all so much for reading this story, and I hope you will cck out my other one, because as I said before, this is not the end of blaze and andy, I love you all,
XOXO, emmaliee :*