Stitch These Wounds With Me Tonight

[Jake's POV]
We got in the truck and on the interstate without a problem. It felt odd to finally be out and on my way home, but I was glad to be headed that way.Yanni looked at me for a second.

"Dude, relax. You'll be home in like twenty minutes. Why don't you nap until we get there?"

"Is it that obvious on how tense I am?"

"Extremely obvious."

"I guess you're right. Just be on the lookout for weird shit. I have a bad feeling about things." I said leaning the seat back slightly, but kept tapping my fingers.

"You've been tapping for fifteen minutes. I'm sure you're going to wear a hole in the arm rest. Breathe, we're going to make it home fi..."He slammed on the breaks and I braced myself for impact."

Fucking stray dogs. You okay Jake?"

"Nope. Minor heart attack. Please get us home unscathed. I'd like to see my sister and make it to Thursday."

"Well, we've made it to our neighborhood, so I think we'll be okay."

I sat back up and ran my hands through my hair. "I'll be glad to take a shower and sleep in my bed again."

I looked my phone and shot a message to Jess.

Jake: Hey assbutt, I'll be in the house in 3.

Jess: I can see the truck. You'll be here sooner than that. BTW, I have good news.

Jake: I hope 1 - You didn't elope without me there 2 - You're not pregnant

Jessa: Dick

Jake: I have one.

Jessa: Are one.

I laughed and put my phone in the bag by my feet. "She's watching."

"She needs to get her ass away from the windows. The fuckweasel is still out."

Jake: Yanni said to get away from the window, it's not safe.

Jessa: Relax, I'm watching from a video monitor in the living room.

[Jessa's POV]

"I've been wadded up on this couch for what seems like an eternity, why must Yanni drive like my grandpa?"

"Because he wants to arrive in piece. Not all of us drive like you and Ashley." Riley joked

"Or Ronnie." Sammy added as she finished Riley's nails.

"I can't help that I am awesome at driving." I said rolling my eyes.

"You've had four tickets in six months babe." Jeremy called from the kitchen.

"All related to the current fuckfest of chaos that is my ex. So those don't count."

"Riley plopped down on me, "Still counts Jess. Now shut up while we put this face mask on you."

I raised an eyebrow, "I hate you two and your makeover days. Can't I just mope until my brother walks in the door?"

"You love us and no you can't. You've already chewed the skin off your thumbs. Now shush." Sammy said painting on the mask.

I closed my eyes and let them have at it. Just as they finished I heard a chuckle. "My sister has turned into the creature from the black lagoon. Jinxx, are you sure you want to marry her?"

I sprang up and ran to Jake, well into him, trying not to cry.

"Jess, not so hard... my shoulder" Jake gasped.

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry Bubby. I just missed you and *sniff* I've been waiting forever and *sniff* now you're home safe *sniff*. I started sobbing hard.

[Jinxx's POV]

I grabbed a wet rag and started wiping the goo off Jessa's face while she was crying on Jake. He did his best to hug her back, but I could tell he was in pain. He looked at me for help.

"Hey babe, why don't you grab your brother his surprise?"

Jake looked a little relieved as she let go. "I had almost forgotten. Give me a sec."

Jess nearly skipped to the kitchen. When she came back she handed her brother a box.

[Jessa's POV]

"Go ahead,open it, I can't wait to see your face!" I smiled wide.

Jake pulled the paper off and opened the lid, he went white as a sheet as he pulled the tissue paper back.

"Well?" I asked.

Jake pulled out a Welcome Home Uncle card signed not me, and a pregnancy test box out of the tissue paper.

"I'm going to kill you, then I'm going to kill Jinxx." He stated in a scary calm voice.

"Just open the box!" I demanded cheerfully.

He opened it to find a few of his brownies inside and laughed. "Thank you."

Riley handed him some balloons and the plate of the rest of his brownies.

[Sammy's POV]

"Wait, I have something for you too! Consider it a welcome home present."

I handed Jake an envelope to open. He looked at me for a second and opened it carefully. Without losing his poker face, he looks at Riles and Jessa, then me.

"Really? Are you sure?"

I nodded and waited.

[Jake's POV]

I read the single sided card over again before saying or doing anything. I looked at the girls, the cleared my throat and slipped the card into my pocket.

"Thank you for the warm welcome home girls."

CC looked at me weird, "Oh come on! What'd the card say?! I neeeeeeed to know."

"It's private, I can't say." I played it calm and cool before eating a brownie.

"Aaaahhhhhh!" CC yelled as he sat at the table.

I went on like nothing was out of the ordinary. "Well, it looks like our next recording sessionhas been planned for a perfect time."

"Why do you say that?" Andy asked a little confused.

"Well," I took a bite of brownie, "it's after my therapy ends," I took another bite, "and the promo begins right after Riley has the baby."

I took the last bite and kept up the straight face.

[Ashley's POV]

"Wait, what?" I dropped my phone mid text when it hit me.

"Congratulations hun, you're going to be a daddy." Riley kissed my cheek.
I stood frozen.

Fuck.

Notes

For my bitches.