On stage

“I need some time to think, please just leave tonight, you can come back tomorrow, I just really need some space right now” I said, wiping a tear from my eye,
“if that’s what it takes, then fine” he said, turning around and walking away,,
“Spiderman time” I said, walking into the kitchen, Ricky put his hand on my shoulder, walking into the living room, ordering everyone out, he put the movie in, and we laid on the couch, we talked for a while, then went to bed, Ricky slept on the floor of my room, and I slept in the bed, but I didn’t sleep much, I just cried a lot, until my alarm clock went off, signaling that it was time to get up, I sat up, and started walking to the bathroom, when I tripped over Ricky,
“what that? Oh my god, nae, are you okay? “he asked, helping me up,
“yea, I’m fine” I said laughing, I showered, and got ready,
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I fed my babies, then left the house, going to school,
“ready?” Stacey asked, as we walked thru the doors, stacey and Zach behind me, we walked down the halls, and I swear it was like a movie, then my phone rang,
“hello?”
“yes, is this mrs.kuza?”
“yes ma’am”
“I’m so terribly sorry to tell you this, but mike kuza was in a car wreck this morning, a drunk driver hit him head on, he died on impact, I am sorry for your loss mrs.kuza” the lady said,
“we collected what we could out of the car, we found a ring, a cellphone, and a few other things, you may come by the police station and pick them up” she continued, but I couldn’t talk, couldn’t move, I dropped the phone, eventually crumbling to the floor myself, till I was just laying inn a ball crying, everyone made empty attempts at getting me up, I probably laid there for an hour, till I heard familiar voices,
“nae?!” I heard mom shriek, then someone picked me up, before I blacked out,
-
I woke up laid across three people in the back seat, Ricky, Alex, and Chris,
“please tell me it was a dream” I said, looking up at Ricky,
“I’m sorry sweetheart” he said, rubbing my head,
“if I would have just left it alone, if I wouldn’t have gotten mad at him, this wouldn’t have happened” I sobbed, when we got home I went straight to my room, I locked my door, and laid down on my bed, what used to be our bed, I fell asleep somewhere in between thoughts,
-
“Naomi?” I heard Chris say, knocking on my door, I got up and unlocked it, letting him in,
“I miss him” I sobbed into his chest,
“I know, me too, he was my best friend” he said, holding me,
“yall looked alike, like twins almost” I said,
“I know” he said,
“I think you might want these” he said, handing me our wedding rings,
“thanks” I said, sliding mine back on my finger,
“It’s my fault” I sobbed,
“it’s not your fault sweetie” Chris said, rubbing my head,
“yes it is, if I wouldn’t have kicked him out, he would have been home, and he wouldn’t have gotten in a wreck” I said,
“that doesn’t make it your fault, it was the guy that hit hims fault” he said,
“I guess”
-
“it’s time” Ricky said, walking into my room, I looked in the mirror once more,
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I grabbed his jacket, putting it on, then walking downstairs, everyone was in black, and looked depressed, Amy and Chris were watching the kids,
-
“it’s hard to forget someone who gave you so much to remember, kuza was my hero, and even though we fought in his last days, he was the love of my life, even though he wasn’t the biological father, he was an amazing dad to our kids, and even wanted to give them his last name, he gave me so much to look forward to in the mornings, even just seeing him could make my day so much better, if I could say one thing to him, I would tell him that I love him, because I did, I do, so kuza, if you can hear me, I love you, even though I can’t bring him back he is always with me, so rest easy my love, one day we will meet again.” I walked to his casket, placing his wedding ring by his side,
“”I love you” I whispered, wiping a tear away, then walking back to my seat,
-
“look Hun, I know how upset you are, but you need to spend some time with your kids” Alex said,
“why don’t we take them to the park? Just me and you” he said, rubbing my back,
“ok” I said, we went downstairs, putting landon and violet in a stroller, and koda on my hip, we left the house,
“so how are you feeling” he said,
“horrible, I miss him so much” I said,
“I feel like I don’t have a reason to live anymore” I continued,
“I understand, but you have to think about koda, and violet, and landon” he said,
“I know, they are primarily keeping me alive” I said,
“I’m really sorry about what happened” he said, as we sat on a bench,
-
**two months later**
I’m so proud of my baby, you’re the most beautiful valedictorian I’ve ever seen” dad said, hugging me,
“momma!” violet said,
“oh my gosh! She said momma!” I squealed, and kissed her face, before putting my cap and gown on, and leaving the house,
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-
“we only arrived here four short years ago, as scrawny freshman, just trying to get to our next class, counting the minutes till the end of the day, then the days to the end of the week, then the weeks until summer vacation, only to come back as sophisticate sophomores, thinking we had it all figured out, then juniors, waiting to take over for the graduating seniors, ready to “rule the school” and today here we stand, seniors, and now our rule is over, and it’s time for our juniors to take over, and fill our shoes, as we walk off, into the world of adulthood, I can only hope that you never give up on your dreams, and you get where you want in life, these past few years have been filled with love, heartbreak, and friendships, some things will slip our memory in a matter of weeks, like my boring speech, but some things we will remember forever, like the time our football team made it to state, and when our volleyball game was forfeit, because we all got food poisoning and started vomiting all over some schools gym, and before you say ew, I want to add in how much we laughed about it later, the time when our cheerleaders got so excited when we won the first game, special memories like these are ones that stick, I want you all to think of your favorite memory, got it? Good. Now tell the person next to you… see, some of you laughed, some smiled, and some awed, now put your hand up f your favorite memory had nothing to do with school, cool. Mine either, my favorite memory is my wedding day, because I had three little miracles while sharing my first dance with my husband, now, think of your worst memory, got it? Good, tell it to the person beside you… every one of you now holds a secret of someone else, and you know what? Lock it up, and throw away the key, because some things aren’t worth losing a friend over, this year was amazing, but hard, when you lose a friend, you lose part of your life, so keep your secrets, keep your friends, keep your memories, and go forth in life, as we set off today, we begin to taste the real world, sometimes it’s not always easy, and can be a bit scary, but we can get thru it together, best of luck, to all of my fellow classmates” I walked off stage and sat in my seat,
“please stand” our principle said, we all stood up, holding hands as our class song began to play, we sang along, then threw our caps in the air when it finished,
“there she is” Chris said, walking up to me with violet in his arms,
“here, let’s get a picture of all four of you” dad said, as everyone sat babies on my arms,
“good thing I’ve become accustom to three at once” I said, and josh laughed,
“really?” I said, and he stopped, dad took a picture, then grabbed landon, and I held koda and violet as we walked off the grass,
“see you late nae” “bye nae” “good job nae” everyone said as I passed by, you see, our plan worked, and the whole school worshiped us, and the popular became the freaks, tonight, me Stacey, and Zach will be electing three juniors to take our place, the juniors were the only other class invited to our senior party, because it is also for them becoming seniors, I can’t wait to pick on these kids tonight.

Notes

so pretty sad chapter, but I tried not to dwell on his death, but be excited for the next chapter, I got amazing plans.