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The Puppet Master

Flashback

*Jenny's POV*

"Be careful, ok?" Leyla said as she pulled me into a goodbye hug.
"Aww, I am, dear. You know my family is not abusive, they just don't care"

It felt really good to know there was someone who worried. It was something like a verification that I mattered - exactly what I needed.

"I think we see it in two different ways. Doesn't matter. Just try to survive"
Leyla knew about everything. About the thing with my family, my bullying past and so on.
Ok, she wasn't a good secret keeper but if you showed her how important, private and hurting it was, she gave her best. And she was the best comforter you could ever have.
She knew about it for one year already and told nobody else about it. I was so proud of her.

"And to your right you can see the lesbian couple!" I heard from behind.
We abruptly stopped hugging and turned around to raise our middle fingers.
It was Nick and Max, two boys of our class. They were always like that. Made fun of us and so on. But if someone tries to bully you - don't feel like a victim. That's what I've learned during this life. Never let them see you hurt so either look for help or show them what you think.
Leyla and I chose the second solution.

"Where's Marvin? Oh! Wait, he left your cool group" I let the sarcasm in this sentence pouring out as much as possible.

Marvin stopped hanging out with the boys because he found it stupid to make fun of two girls who just are there for each other.

"You can suck my d***" Nick said - meant we were annoying him.

"Look how friendly they are today" Leyla giggled after they disappeared "Oh, I have to go now or my mom gets angry"
"Yeah, and I am about to miss my bus... See you" we both left each other but turned around to wave a last time - like we did it every day.


"Hi mom" I said as I entered the kitchen.
She sat on the chair she always sat on, read the newspaper and drank coffee.
And she ignored me of course.
"Oh, yeah, my school day was fine. Thanks. It isn't always normal that mothers are that caring you know? Some just don't mind. ...Yes, I don't understand them either"
I just ignored the fact that she ignored me.

Maybe I waited for a response, guilty feelings, or I've just been mad and wanted to annoy her. Yes, maybe it was a kind of revenge to me.
My mom didn't care. She was quiet in front of almost everyone - but she ignored nobody else more than me.
Ok, there were days she talked to me but only until something reminded her of my brother.

I just grabbed an apple as I saw her bloodshot eyes. She usually cried at night.
Then I realized an article on the table...
Car crash: 2 deaths
Now I felt tears starting to come up.

"It's not my fault, ok?" my voice broke during the sentence.
"It is..." she muttered

She believed it was my fault. She believed it was my intention. She believed I was a murderer.

I placed the apple on the place I got it from and went into my room.
Door locked, music super loud and a soft pillow.
I sat on my bed, the music bumping through my veins, tears flowing like a waterfall and my nails clawed into my pillow.
It was 2 years and 5 months ago already, but the wounds were still not healed.


"Come on! On
ly a little tour through the village. Won't take long" I said tickling my little brother, Alex. He sat at home and watched TV. I knew it wasn't good for him so I tried to make him stop being that lazy.
His friends were all pretty busy on such days. They played in a football team and had some matches during that time.
And my little brother hated football.

"I don't feel like riding bike today" he gasped.

"Oh, come on! Don't be such a couch potato" I continued tickling him.

"Ok, ok! I'm coming with you"

I stopped "Fine, I'm quickly asking mom if she allows us to go"


After our mother said yes, we directly took our bikes and helmets and left.
The weather was awesome, the sun was shining and no cloud was on the bright blue sky.
We stopped on top of our favorite hill. From there we always made a bet who would be the first to reach
the crossroad. Mom told us we shouldn't always bet because the street we had to cross wasn't really safe. There were a lot of fast, careless cars.
We never believed her. It was just too much fun.
And he was only 7 and I was only 11...


"I love this view" I said smiling.
It was fantastic. You could see the villages, mountains, some other hills and the town looked so small from there!
"I'll be the first" Alex giggled and drove down the hill without a warning.
"That's not fair!" I shouted. I hated the fact that Alex always wanted to be the first.
"I don't mind"
So I started to drive after him but way slower. He annoyed me.
But my mood jumped to scared in seconds. I saw a car driving really fast which wasn't in Alex's field of vision.
"Stop! There's a car!" I yelled hoping he would listen.
"You're not fooling me" he shouted back laughing.
"No fun! I'm serious! Please stop!"
He kept ignoring me and enjoyed the last wind blowing into his face.
"Alex!" I couldn't yell anymore.



I pulled myself out of my flashback.
No, it wasn't my fault. Impossible.
No need to feel like that. No need to think about that.
I wiped the tears off my face.

My eyes horribly burned, I was shaking, my body was so weak.
I wanted to hug Alex so bad. I wanted to tell him I was sorry for taking him out for a biking tour.
Maybe I also wanted him to say that it wasn't my fault.
I missed his brown, fluffy hair, his cute laugher and his deep brown eyes.
I'm sorry, Alex.


Notes

~MarryBerry
Here we have some of Jenny's private life :3


Comments

Da hell dude. You can't leave it like that!

Seagull_frenzy Seagull_frenzy
6/12/16

Back at cha

Seagull_frenzy Seagull_frenzy
5/27/16

@Seagull_frenzy
I love you x

Can't wait for the next chapter dude!;)

Seagull_frenzy Seagull_frenzy
5/17/16

@Seagull_frenzy
We do! Yay!