Leaving Hope To Bleed *May Be Triggering to Some*

She's smiling, she looks so happy. I gasp, tears of happiness spilling from my eyes. "Mom, you look beautiful." Her wings are huge, and they look so beautiful. "Mhmm, and you will too." She smiles. "When?" I ask. "Soon." She says. I try to step forward but I can't move. My bones are locked in place, keeping me from any movement. "Mom?" I question, she gives me a sad look. "This will only hurt a second." She says, before I can question her, I feel liquid filling my lungs.

I feel it in my nose and going down my throat, choking me. I gasp, trying to get the air to my filled lungs but that only brings more in my lungs. My bones loosen and I fall to my knees. I scratch at my throat and open my mouth but no liquid comes out. My lungs are are aching, the liquid splashing against the inside of my chest. I crumple to the ground letting the pain and suffocation take over.

But that doesn't matter, I'm finally going to be with my mom. This is my time and I'm ready, I'm not afraid to die. No not any more, I will admit. Three years ago, I would have been crying, begging to stay, But now I'm welcoming it. I lay on my back, the liquid has stopped filling my lungs, but it's still there. Consuming every particle of air I have left, Now I just wait.

I feel a hard pain on my chest, but this is different. This feels like someone is hitting me in the chest. I clutch my chest, this hurts worse than the water. And then I cough, water spills out of my lungs. The more I cough, the more I feel the water leaving. After it's all gone I gasp greedily for water. I look up at my mom, she's gone.

No, no. She can't be gone. She Can't be! The white quickly leaves, I blink and flashes of Chris, and Ricky, and Ashley come into view. I scream, I don't want to go back. More images, Amber lying on the floor, her screams, my screams, Chris's evil voice telling me "It's too late" I blink again and look up.

A pair of bright blue eyes are looking at me, Andy. I scream, trying to push him away from me. Everything hurts, my chest, my head, every bone in my body. He's going to hurt me, just like Chris did. "Get away from me!" I scream again, trying to sit up but failing and falling back down. "Summer it's okay. I saved you, you're not going to die." Tears sting my frozen cheeks as they slide down my face.

"Put me back in the water!" I say trying to scream but it comes out in a loud grumble. His eyes fill with confusion. "What?" He asks, my eyes start to close shut again. This time I let them close. "Summer, Summer, keep your eyes open. An ambulance is on its way." He slaps my cheek a few times. I open my eyes again. "Why are you doing this?" I croak, my voice scratchy. He bit his lip, looking at me.

More tears come, why would Andy save me. It's not like he cares about me, he just wants me alive so he can't beat me. I can't get the image of my mom out of my head, she was so beautiful, I was so close. But Andy ruined it, he ripped it away from me. "Because you don't deserve to die." He mumbles looking into my eyes. I'm just noticing how blue his eyes really are. I've never really had the chance to study his features, not like I ever wanted to anyways. I close my eyes, "But I wanted too." I whisper.

I'm pulled back into darkness as the silence takes over. White comes again, but this time I'm on the ground. I slowly stand up, my knees weak and I'm shaking. I look around. I can't find my mom anywhere. Where is she? She's usually here. "Mom?" I call out , my horse voice echoing. I get no response. "Mom." I call out again, this time a little louder. "Mom!" I scream running, but there is nowhere to run. It's all white, I'm all alone."Mom!" I screamed out, wanting her to be here. I want her to come and get me, take me so I can finally be with her. Tears come to my eyes. Why does life have to be so cruel, why can't I ever get what I want? Just once, I want to be happy. I want to smile again, a real and true smile.

Black starts to form around me, and I know that I'm about to wake up. About to go back to a life that I don't want to go back to. A life where all I do is suffer. Beeping fills my ears and I open my eyes. A light shines brightly above my head. I blink, trying to get my vision into focus.

A oxygen mask lays over my face, it hurts to breath. Other than that I feel nothing, I'm completely numb. I instantly cry, the memories filling my mind. I sob, shaking badly. "Shh, it's okay. You're safe now." A deep but gentle voice says. I snap my head to the side. I freeze, it's Andy. The guy that has brought me so much pain. Who has made me want to actually slice up my skin because I felt so ugly. So useless. Fear courses through my veins, he's here to make me promise not to tell anyone.

"Get away from me." I breath through the oxygen mask. He moves and I flinch, afraid he's going to hit me. He sighs loudly leaning back in the chair. "Your dad should be here soon." He says. "I said get away." I say firmer, moving the oxygen mask from my face. "No." He says pushing my hands away. "You need that." He puts it back over my mouth and nose. "Leave me alone." I whimper wanting him to go away. i just want to be left alone.

"Chris is going to jail." Andy blurts out. I sigh, good he deserves too. "But Chris only." He mumbles. I look at him, furrowing my eyebrows. "What?" I ask, the oxygen mask muffling my voice. "They can't be charged with anything unless y'all testify, and Chris has rich parents so he'll be getting bail." The words feel like bee stings all over my skin. Tears come to my eyes. I can't testify against, no I can't. If I do, he'll kill me. I know he will, he was about to before why not after I send him to jail.

"I want to see Amber." I say suddenly, remembering that I was not the only one who was attacked. "You can't, you're not allowed to move for a few days." He says. "Why not?" I snap. "Because, your sternum is fractured." He says. "How? I wasn't even hit in the chest." I grumble. "I had to do CPR...." He says. i roll my eyes. I wish he hadn't. And then I notice something, he has not made one mean remark to me. Or hit me...or did anything mean to me. But why, what's changed?

"Why are you being so nice?" I ask cautiously. He looks at me, biting his lip and raising his eyebrow. "I wouldn't call it nice..." He mumbles, There it goes. I knew it, nothings changed he's a jerk and always will be. He stands up and and walks out, leaving me dumfounded.
What just happened?

Notes