"Sooo You'll come?" he asked with hope in his eyes, then he looked at me closely and the hopeful smile faded.
"Yeah I'll come" I said after a sigh he still looked at me weirdly
"Ivy why do you have a black eye?
"Like I said it's a long story, Abi didn't do it and Coma didn't but someone did lets just leave it as that".
Why does everyone want to know why I have a black eye It's none of there business what my brothers or dad does to me, but I am happy to say I'm still a virgin but with the way there going I proberly won't be soon, fuck!
"Hang on Oli why are you wearing sun glasses in school?"
"Like you said it's a long story" then he took his sun glasses off and there's a black eye not as big as mine but still pretty bad.
"Hey do you want to ditch school and go to the park?" he asked
"I don't know....."
"I promise I won't try anything I've learned my lessen, and thanks to you my crotch still kinda hurts"
"I didn't need to know that but ok, sure why not?" We headed for the main doors and left I swear this school doesn't care if anyone leaves, stays, comes late or just doesn't show up. I guess this kinda beats my idea, the only thing that ever on my mind thanks to depression and life 'cut and die' but I'm going to die not at school no fucking way.
"Here do you want any fags?"
"Yes I would I haven't had a fag in ages"
"Well wait here I'll be right back"
One of the best things about Oli is he looks older then her is and taller and his fourteen not me people always think I'm in year seven or eight thanks to my height or just generally the way I look. He came back with Kings mill in his hands and a lighter.
"Here you go beautiful" He handed me a fag and the lighter, why does he call me that I'm not beautiful I'm a fugly (fuck ugly) bitch, every one knows that so why does he have to call me that, sometimes it really does piss me off but what am I meant to do?

"Will you stop calling me that?" I asked handing him back the lighter and taking a puff of the sigiret.
"Stop calling you what beautiful?"
"That, stop fucking calling me beautiful" I said walking off to the park him following behind.
"Why?, when you are"
"No I'm not"
"Yes you are and don't let anyone tell you other wise because there just jealous"
"Yeah right, so Amanda and her minions are jealous of me?
"Errr YES!!!, your a thousand times better looking then them there just pretty when your stunning."
"Tell Coma that then" Oh God what did I just say?, why did I say that? I don't want him I don't want anyone I'm better off alone no matter what anyone says, I want nothing to do with him or any other boy, why can't people just get that. But no I have to 'have' more friends, I 'have' to 'have' a boyfriend, I 'have' to life my shite ass life.

"You still love him, don't you?" He asked when we reached the park and sat on the swings.
"No because love does not exist, It's only what you read in fairytales with princes and princesses, It's a cruel trick, It's nothing but a stupid feeling that no one needs but begs for it. Why? when it's only going to stab you in the back and everyone knows it but denies it, and the people that think that they can live on love are pathetic and need to be punched in the face".

He didn't say a word but I'm right and I know I'm right I don't love Coma, I don't love my family, I don't love anyone or anything, all I love is the idea of me dead and I know everyone would be better off, like Ryan said 'I don't deserve it' and I'm an 'useless asshole cutter'.

"Ivy?"
"Yeah Oli"
"How long have you been like this?"
"Been like what?" I asked looking at him confused and taking another puff
"How long have you been like what your being now, unhappy, miserable, shape and cold?"
"Oli its none of you business"
"I know but I'm just wondering if there ever was a part of you that ever loved anything or anyone"
"Oli life is a bitch to unlucky people and I just happened to be one of the unlucky ones."
"I guess your right but what made you this way?"
Why does he want to know it is none of his fucking business what does he want me to tell him everything about me?, the first time I cut?, why I don't trust people?, the first time my dad or brothers hit me?, what age I went into the asylum?, why I went into the asylum?, why I don't like to go home?, why I want to die?. Look it's my life it's a shite one that I want to keep to myself because everyone will just turn on me even more and I don't want another reason to end my life.

Even if I did love Coma, what he did to me, he was the only thing I ever loved because he was away there for me, he could away make me laugh, he could away help me see the bright side of things but now..... he was the one and only thing I've loved in a very long time and when he kissed her my heart completely broke and it will never be put back together.
"Oliver can we just drop it?' I don't want to talk about it"
"Ok, ok I'll drop it, here I've got an idea"
"What?"
"Why don't we go to your place"
"NO!!!!, YOU ARE NEVER FUCKING EVER GOING FUCKING THERE!!!!" his face dropped thanks to my out burst I didn't mean to shout I just don't want anyone going there and I know either Ryan or Tyler are going to be there with there mates smoking weed, drinking, snorting other drugs and having his mates tying to get with me.
"I'm sorry I didn't mean to shout, it's just I don't want anyone going there no one that I know has ever gone there and I would like to keep it that way".
"So Abi's never been to your house?"
"Nope"
"Then why don't we go to mine? and you can help me with the party"
"That's a much better idea" I said taking one last puff then stopping the fag out Oli did the same then we walked to his house.

"Don't worry my parents are out of town on business and Tom's with them".
"Where did they go?"
"Back to our old country England"
"I wish they would take me with them I really miss it, wow I never thought I'd say that"
"Wait you lived in England?, which part?"
"Birmingham, then my dad got a job over here so we had to move"
"Damn it dad why didn't you choose a house in Birmingham?"
"And what makes you think even if you did get a house there that we would ever meet?"
"I don't know luck maybe"
"Yeah keep thinking that sykes" he giggled a little bit then carried on walking to his house.

~~~~*~~~~*~~~~

He unlocked the door and walked inside wow his house is amazing there are picture's on the walls mirrors we walked into the living room there's a massive black 50inch TV screen a lourge cream recliner sofa and chairs a black fur rug in the middle of the room even more pictures, lamps a massive silver mirror on the wall that are cream and were the fire place is.
"I take it you like this place?" he asked with a smirk all I could do was nod just the living room is amazing want's the rest of the house like?
"You lucky little fucker"
"Why?, what does your place look like?
"That doesn't matter right now"
"Yeah your right what to see the rest of the place?"
"Fuck yeah".

After the tour Oli led me to his room, that's the only room in the house I haven't seen his door had a massive keep out emo style sign . He opened it and walked inside this room is the best room in the house his walls are black and gray he had a 35ich TV on one of the wall, band posters one large poster of Crown the empire over his bed, a keyboard in the corner, a massive black wardrobe in the other corner, a double bed and two stands on each side that had black lamps and an alarm clock on the right on and a long mirror on the side of the wordrob.
"Go on you know you want to" If he means me jumping on his bed then yes I did want to but if I was something else then what the hell is he talking about but I took a shot I jumped and landed on my back on his bed, fuck this comfortable unlike my bed well if you can even call it that a matrices with a pillow and a blanket.
"Well what do you think?"
"Could you leave"
"Why?"
"Because I'm about to full asleep"
"Oh no" he said then jumping on his bed he landed on his stomach next to me but when he landed I did jump a little bit, then tied to push me off. But I thought back, he was right at the edge of the bed about to full off with me holding him.
"Ok, ok you win now could get me up"
"No"
"What?"
"You have to say something first"
"What?, what? I'll say anything"
"Say I'm ugly"
"Never"
"Then I'm going to help you get back on the bed properly"
"Ivy come on I'm not saying that"
"Then goodbye" I let go of him and he landed on the floor with a thud
"OCH". He got up and laughed
"Why didn't you just say that I'm ugly?"
"Because I was raised not to tell lies" he said rubbing his back and smiled.
"Come on we need to get thing ready for the party" he said dragging me off the bed then down to the stairs then let go.

~~~~*~~~~*~~~~

Everything was ready the playlist, snacks, drinks everything was done and it was only an hour until the party started.
"So who's coming?"
"You'll see" is all he said before disappearing in the kitchen. He can back with two boxes of beer and set then down.
"You should probably go to you're and get ready" he said with a smile, but I don't have anything nice to get into or make up so I just looked down and you could tell his smile faded.
"You don't have anything do you?" I just shock my head without making eye contact
"Here look at me why don't I take you shopping for something?"
"Oli you don't have to...."
"No, no will look beautiful at the ball Cinderella" he said winking at me, he grabbed some money and his hoodie and his keys, I grabbed my hoodie and off we went.

~~~~*~~~~*~~~~

We came back and I had thirty minuets to get ready, Oli got me something I don't know what but I'm hoping it's not a dress, I really do hate dresses, I hat showing of any skin because of three reasons, 1) my scares, 2) I'm fat and 3) the last time I wore a dress everyone made fun of me because I have small boobs as please don't let it be a dress.
"Ok Oli it's killing me, what have you got me?"
"You'll see now here you go you can use my room to change"
"Thanks" I said taking the bag then heading up stairs, I went into Oli's room and locked the door just incase. I opened the bag to see a mini bag inside I took that out putting the big bag on his bed. I opened it and saw black mascara, black eyeliner and black lipstick, I sat then them down on the on the night stand and pulled out whatever 's in the big bag, first it was shoes black ankle high boots with a thick heel and instead of a zip there are laces at the front. Ok these are beautiful but what did her get me to wear?

Without looking I pulled the item out then opened me eyes, it is a dress, errrrr...... Oli I'm going to kill you, It's a strapless dress the top half is like a corset but black and the zip is at the side. the bottom was like a frilly skirt also black and it went down to my knees. It had a fish nests that are ripped at the bottom, Ok the dress does go with the boots and this dress is gorgeous it doesn't suit me and it shows of all my scares and my boobs, even know I haven't got any. I put it on and the make up I looked in the mirror and I don't like what I see I look stupid, ugly, fat, why would he get this for me errrrrr.

"Ivy are you ready" a voice said form the other side of the door I took a deep breath then unlocked the door and opened it.
Oli just look at me wider eyes, his mouth making an 0 shape.
"Ivy you look gorgeous"
"Really?"
"Fuck yeah, wow, wow"
"Stop it"
"No, damn girl your gonna be the death of me". Is all he said then there was a knock on the front door he went down trying not to take his eyes off me.
"Hey Andy glad you could make it"
wait Andy's here great. I went down stairs and into the living room where Oli and Andy are having a drink. Andy took one look at me and his mouth dropped.
"Hey Andy"
"Hey Ivy wow you look fantastic"
"Thanks I guess". Then grabbed a beer and Oli turned on the music Asking Alexandria awesome then more people started to show up. In 15 minuets the house was packed with people some I knew and most I have no fucking idea who the are but I got outside into the garden to have a fag then went back inside. Ashley was chatting up some girl why doesn't that surprise me? but then he looked at me and his eyes wided left the girl and walked over to me.
"Hey sexy"
"Alright Ashley?"
"I am now that I've seen you"
"Ash come on you know it's me Ivy?"
"Yeah I know and just when I thought you couldn't make yourself look more beautiful you do this"
"Ash come on go back to that skank you were talking to"
"No I'm happy here"
"Come on Ash"
"No you come on look at you, your fucking gorgeous"
"Even though you can see my scares and that I have small boobs?"
"Yes and your boobs look perfect to me" he said winking ok this is to weird and I know Ashley isn't a virgin but I want to stay one for now and his a year older then me and to girlified for my taste.
"So erm want to go upstairs?"
"No Ash but that girl over there is sloshed, try her"
"you sure?"
"Yes I'm sure"
"Ok but you don't know what your missing". He said walking off to the drunken girl.

"Ivy" I heard someone shout over the music I turned around to see Abi with Alex and Shaun, she ran up me and hugged me so tight that my bones could have broken but she let go.
"Are you ok?, I've been worried sick about you , you haven't cut have you?
"No I haven't cut and I'm fine wait you were worried about me?"
"Of course I'm your my best friend, my babe and I'm sorry about earlier"
"No Abi I'm sorry I shouldn't have snapped like that and sorry Alex"
"Nah it's alright" Shaun just stood there quietly, ok Abi's right he is cute but I still don't want to know him but I now owe Abi big time.
"Hi I'm Shaun" he said holding his hand out
"Ivy" I said shaking it.
"Oh and Ivy" Abi said I turned to her
"You look drop dead gorgeous" Abi was the one and only person I trust.
"You too".

~~~~*~~~~*~~~~

Two hours past and I was dancing with Abi and song a few of the lyrics to Slipknot but luckily no one could here me, Shaun's really a good guy we do have lots of things in common. I turned my head and there stood Coma and Burns what are they doing here?, I saw Coma looking at me with a hint of lust in his eyes, I need to get away from him, I told Abi I was going to get another drink and went to look for Oli. I found him talking to Matthew Nichols
"Oli I need to have a word with you now" he nodded his head then Mattew left.
"whats up beautiful?"
"Why is Satan and her minion here?"
"Who?"
"Coma and Burns"
"I invited them"
"Why?, fucking why?"
"because I thought it would be funny to she Burns get drunk"
"Oliver I came here to get away from drama not create more" He opened his mouth to say something but some stopped him,
"IVY!!!!!" the music switch off and I turned around there stood Ryan with a pissed off look on his face.

OH SHIT!!!!!!

Notes