My Story

Goodbye Agony


Ladies and Gentlemen this my story of how I overcame this thing that I have dealt with the last couple of years. I have never posted something like this on the internet where people outside of my group of close friends. And without the help of everybody that has helped me through thick and thin by just making me laugh
The knife was sharp enough that I could use to get through some layers of skin, the lighter got the metal hot enough where I could get a bad degree burn. Yes I use to hurt myself, and this is my story.
The first time I cut was a test, I was in 8th grade and I just cut my finger tips. It felt weird to have the cuts on my finger tips. It was also around the time that my Great Grandpa wasn't doing so well and my Uncle wasn’t doing well around November. They both died on the same day in February, after that I wasn't me but yet I was me.
Freshmen year was okay enough, I actually don’t remember much about that year. Then towards the end of Sophmore year I started to cut like every night because I was being made fun of by the people I trusted the most in my life. I use to cover them with bandages, my friends use to ask if all the hand jobs I was evening hurting that much. I laughed with them but it still hurt. Then came the white bandana that became my safety net for months. I then started to wear bracelets.
Junior year was getting better but also worse. I remember one night I was so mad and ashamed of myself, you see my dad threaten to beat me and that made me feel like I’m useless. So after doing my chore of washing the dishes I went up to my room with tears running down my face grabbed my knife and sliced the inside little bit towards my hand near my elbow. That time it was too deep, but not deadly deep. I put pressure on it, hoped that it would stop soon. When it finally did I had blood all over my arm and hand. Taking a shower hurt but I knew I had to wash it, then when I got back up to my room I brought with me some bandages, tape, and antibiotic cream. I smeared the cream on put the bandage on and taped it down.
The next day I wore a long sleeve shirt, when I was done dressing I went about my daily business. I even lied to my best friends saying I was scratch by a cat or bite by the dog. She later on she found out and she was scared but also happy I did not die.
When my dog died I was devastated, but I realized I wanted to live not for myself but to live on the memory and the love I felt for my favorite family pet. So I choice to live and be part of life, I wanted to explore the world.
This is my message to the people who look this message. You can self hurt all you want but think about this. Is Self Hurting really the answer? Does it resolve anything? Does it make the problem go away? If not then what happens after that?
If you have a problem and want to a former self harmer’s help. I am here you can PM me any time and I will try my best to help you.
Thank you for reading if you did. This is my first coming out to the world.

1. My Story

   Please Read if you want to